Wish I'd listened to your advice

[Mimsy]

So I agreed with the responses I got about the risks and unlikeliest of success trying to do it in a secure hospital on 1:1. Problem is I was on verbal observations in the bathroom and I took my chances. I tried to block the lock and mislead an unfamiliar member of staff. Having never managed to ligature particularly well up till now, 4 days ago I decided to go all out. I used a sock and then a braided lead 3 times around my neck. It was wonderful really, I became dizzy almost straight away, on the floor I took 2 gasps of breath, while reassure myself it would soon be over. Then I just didn't think I would take another breath. The next thing I knew was trying to figure out where I was and what had happened, my heart dropped when I realised that I had attempted and been saved. I had lost consciousness and turned blue by the time staff managed to get in, so close... I'm excited because now I know I have a method that I can go through and is not actually that unpleasant. But, now I'm on 1:1 obs at arms length and no longer can use the bathroom alone. Today my anger has been immense and I've been pretty foul to staff, my chances in the near future are non existence and it's so hard to have got so close but by doing so just prolonged the agony of being alive. Any thoughts?

 

[Lady black]

Sorry what happened, but it was what I thought that would happen: Just thnik: You need about half an hour to be dead for sure when you hang yourself...

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm sorry you went through that. It's very important to not rush things, and make sure you're not going to be found. Brain damage is a terrifying concept.

 

[inactive]

I am sorry that you felt so desperate :(

I take it the hanging method was partial?

 

[Mimsy]

I am sorry that you felt so desperate :(

I take it the hanging method was partial?

I just tied the ligature without any suspension. I've read a fair number of coroner's reports and researched the coking game etc. so know it can be effective. But really, I've also heard that you need half hour to ensure death from hanging as replied to me earlier, but i know people who have managed to die from ligatures without suspension on 15min obs. It's so confusing. I've had a fair few unsuccessful attempts with ligatures so think I am learning what needs to be done, still needs perfecting though. Wish I could just put it all on hold but it's just such a strong desire right now.