Help will killing myself make it easier for my parents to divorce?

[eggsausagerice]

do not tell me that things will get better for me if i stay alive. i'm not interested.

my morning started at 6:32 am with my mom yelling at my dad and basically talking to herself because my dad was barely talking. my dad was getting annoyed because she kept yelling at him and talking to him so he raised his voice at her, but it's just been my mom talking at him for 40 minutes. my mom can talk for 4 hours straight. i know my brother's awake and can hear them yelling too. i want to help them find a divorce lawyer or something so they can divorce for real and finally stop fighting with each other. there's gaps between their fighting, but they always fight. they've never not fought with each other. my dad doesn't have a job and leeches off my mom and my mom complains and they never get divorced. but my dad should just leave if he's only staying to leech off my mom's money until one of them dies. both of them are repulsive.

i'm going to kill myself later this month and wondered if a potential upside would be that they might have a bigger reason to stop being together if i killed myself and it left my brother as the only one still living in the house. my mom's been telling me to move away for a while because she hates being around me, so one of the main reasons i'm killing myself is because i lack the financial resources to move away and stop being a burden to her. i wonder if me dying might make her want to leave my dad and stop yelling at him. i don't want them to stay together when i die because they make each other extremely unhappy, but i don't know how to tell them that when i'm alive because my mom never takes anything i say serious because she still sees me as a kid. ever since i was born i've always wanted them to divorce and for me to live on my own or with a different family because i think they're so toxic and my mom never wanted me to become an adult.

i'm still going to die no matter what they do, but i want to be able to show them that they hate each other and only stay together because they don't have anyone else in lives that they can rely on for support. even though they both speak fluent english, they act like they don't understand me when i talk about how unhappy being related to them makes me. whenever they fight, they just pretend it never happened until they fight again because they never resolved the last argument they had. when my mom yells at me she acts the same way and pretends she never did it or that it wasn't that serious. i told my dad i didn't want to be born last year if i had to be related to my mom and he told me that i was being ungrateful and that i was acting like i knew better than him. when i weigh the options, it's easier to kill myself if i have no way to leave to make my mom happy. i've wanted to leave home or die ever since i figured out that i could live somewhere besides home, but if i tried to leave home now i would just be homeless and worse off. i don't like being alive enough to become homeless just to stop living with my parents. mornings like these show me thag i'd rather die than keep living with them.

 

[NSA]

Imo suicide is a wholly personal thing. You do it for you, not because of some attempt to "better" someone else's life.

They got their own problems and it sounds like your parents are a piece of work. Who the fuck tells their kid to their face they dont like them? Talk about zero effort.

Leech them dry for making you feel like your the one with the problem.

 

[eggsausagerice]

Who the fuck tells their kid to their face they dont like them? Talk about zero effort.

a lot of asian parents act like this. they just tell their kid they don't like them and don't factor in that it could make their kid hate themselves or want to die because they see themselves as a burden or something they're forced to take care of. the intention in the first place is probably to make the kid feel ashamed of themselves. no parent is obligated to treat their children well. i don't get beaten, i just get scolded or lectured. they don't act nice towards me and are mostly formal. i feel kind of irritated towards people that have parents that actually like being around them or don't tell them they hate them, since they get uncomfortable or don't understand my situation when i talk about how i have a bad relationship with both of my parents.

i already mentioned that i wanted to kill myself because of my own reasons, even though i do want them to think about their divorce more seriously after my suicide. but my sister told me they're probably not going to take accountability for being bad parents unless i write them a note saying that i did it because i hate them. there isn't any upside if i continue living with them because the feeling of being in the house with them around just makes me feel miserable in general, even when i feel happy.

 

[NSA]

Also ur username is delicious

Edit: chat delay:(
I see. I read "lacking financial resources to move away and stop being a burden" as doing it for someone else. The key word being burden, but maybe you meant it differently.

 

[PanaxMan]

do not tell me that things will get better for me if i stay alive. i'm not interested.

my morning started at 6:32 am with my mom yelling at my dad and basically talking to herself because my dad was barely talking. my dad was getting annoyed because she kept yelling at him and talking to him so he raised his voice at her, but it's just been my mom talking at him for 40 minutes. my mom can talk for 4 hours straight. i know my brother's awake and can hear them yelling too. i want to help them find a divorce lawyer or something so they can divorce for real and finally stop fighting with each other. there's gaps between their fighting, but they always fight. they've never not fought with each other. my dad doesn't have a job and leeches off my mom and my mom complains and they never get divorced. but my dad should just leave if he's only staying to leech off my mom's money until one of them dies. both of them are repulsive.

i'm going to kill myself later this month and wondered if a potential upside would be that they might have a bigger reason to stop being together if i killed myself and it left my brother as the only one still living in the house. my mom's been telling me to move away for a while because she hates being around me, so one of the main reasons i'm killing myself is because i lack the financial resources to move away and stop being a burden to her. i wonder if me dying might make her want to leave my dad and stop yelling at him. i don't want them to stay together when i die because they make each other extremely unhappy, but i don't know how to tell them that when i'm alive because my mom never takes anything i say serious because she still sees me as a kid. ever since i was born i've always wanted them to divorce and for me to live on my own or with a different family because i think they're so toxic and my mom never wanted me to become an adult.

i'm still going to die no matter what they do, but i want to be able to show them that they hate each other and only stay together because they don't have anyone else in lives that they can rely on for support. even though they both speak fluent english, they act like they don't understand me when i talk about how unhappy being related to them makes me. whenever they fight, they just pretend it never happened until they fight again because they never resolved the last argument they had. when my mom yells at me she acts the same way and pretends she never did it or that it wasn't that serious. i told my dad i didn't want to be born last year if i had to be related to my mom and he told me that i was being ungrateful and that i was acting like i knew better than him. when i weigh the options, it's easier to kill myself if i have no way to leave to make my mom happy. i've wanted to leave home or die ever since i figured out that i could live somewhere besides home, but if i tried to leave home now i would just be homeless and worse off. i don't like being alive enough to become homeless just to stop living with my parents. mornings like these show me thag i'd rather die than keep living with them.

My parents have been fighting for years and it would be interesting to see what happens after death. It seemed divorce was natural since both for 0 good reasons kept finances hidden from all of us kids when but the time we were grown up (besides my little sister) our questions became more common about the finances. The job they had affected all of us negatively since it deals with customer service and other people. It would be nice if they did it in about 2 years from now and I wonder what would happen to my siblings then