Why the fuck does it have to be so hard?

[mpti]

The best method I have available to me right now is hanging, and since I live with family not only do I have to worry about getting everything right, but also doing it without being caught and sectioned. It's so fucking wrong that I'm forced to live in this hellhole of a world and act grateful for the opportunity to do so. Every successful suicide I hear about fills me with an unquenchable envy, moderated only by the happiness I feel for those who have gotten out. The idea of living for several more decades is alll I ever think about, and it scares the shit out of me.

I'm so sorry for anyone else who wants to kill themselves but can't for whatever reason, either on this site or elsewhere.

 

[JoeFailure]

It's all a vicious cycle. It's so hard and then the SI which I actually think in it of itself I could get by...its the fear of what comes after if that counts as part of it. That's what's terrifying to me. But unless a miracle occurs, I don't see how someone could live 30-40 more years feeling the way I do everyday. I really don't see how it's possible.

 

[Volatile]

Because if it were easy then everyone would do it

 

[Help_Me]

I can relate to this.. My biggest fear is to live more and more.

 

[Jynxer]

The best method I have available to me right now is hanging, and since I live with family not only do I have to worry about getting everything right, but also doing it without being caught and sectioned. It's so fucking wrong that I'm forced to live in this hellhole of a world and act grateful for the opportunity to do so. Every successful suicide I hear about fills me with an unquenchable envy, moderated only by the happiness I feel for those who have gotten out. The idea of living for several more decades is alll I ever think about, and it scares the shit out of me.

I'm so sorry for anyone else who wants to kill themselves but can't for whatever reason, either on this site or elsewhere.

I know EXACTELY how you feel about being jealous of hearing of other people being successful. My last attempt I thought would be my last. But after being in a coma for 3 days and waking up it scared the shit outta me. I was told I was lucky not to have permanent brain or organ damage. Ever since then I've been so scared of failure. I don't want to be a vegetable or being a prisoner in my own body ( more so than now).

I've thought about hanging too, as it's the only resource I have. I'm just too afraid of the consequences if I fail.

I'm sorry that you are part of this big club of suffering that all of us here seem to belong to, just know that you are not alone

 

[Extremly kind <3]

The best method I have available to me right now is hanging, and since I live with family not only do I have to worry about getting everything right, but also doing it without being caught and sectioned. It's so fucking wrong that I'm forced to live in this hellhole of a world and act grateful for the opportunity to do so. Every successful suicide I hear about fills me with an unquenchable envy, moderated only by the happiness I feel for those who have gotten out. The idea of living for several more decades is alll I ever think about, and it scares the shit out of me.

I'm so sorry for anyone else who wants to kill themselves but can't for whatever reason, either on this site or elsewhere.

The survival instincts makes it hard, my fucken brain keeps telling me to sucide and when attempting it triggers the survival instinct to kick in, my brain is so fucken contradictory !