Venting Why not me?

[FarSquid]

My grandmother passed away yesterday which brought these thoughts up again - still numb to the fact, but all I can think is why not me? All these people who are actually cared about, actually contributing to the world in meaningful ways, and they're the ones who die. Why can't it be me who ends up in front of a car at the wrong time or something? What am I doing wrong that keeps me from being the one who gets to die? This world is messed up.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Because that is just the cold indifference of the universe at play. People who want to live end up dying. People who want to die end up living until 90. Life is just a collection of random events that make no sense.

You can't really expect life to hand you a freebie like a peaceful death in your sleep when you are still young. Like everything else there is a price. The price being overcoming your SI to CTB.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life is very unfair. I read stories about people around my age who supposedly loved life and had things to look forward too, who die and I wish I could swap places with them. I am so tired of this pointless existence. In a way I am jealous of people who have died as they are free from this horrible life and they are at peace. The way you feel is perfectly understandable.