Venting Why live if my destiny is jail?

[Obliviate]

..........Still fucking here. I should be gone by now.


Some time ago I realized that most likely I would end up going to prison/jail............so why bother living?

As we all painfully fucking know how disgusting the world is, I unfortunately know how demonic it is just a tad bit more. I I WAS a humanitarian(not anymore because humans are parasites) and criminal/social justice advocate. Justice systems around the world are vile and a fucking joke.


I believe in revenge, an eye for an eye,


Lately I've come across lot's of animal abuse (specifically cats) that has been rampaging around the world especially in China. I have nothing but homicidal thoughts for the loser abusers. Violent scenes in my head of what I would like to do to them. Especially because there is literally 0% accountability and criminal charges for them. They roam free being psychopaths.

Violence against women has ALWAYS been here and now it's being exposed prevalently


As a woman of color, I am apart of the most hated group in the world, if I am being attacked in a hate crime, in gender violence in any shape way or form, I'm killing someone. That's it. I'm not gonna just stand there and let you assault me. Especially when I know there will be no repercussions. You are dying.

If I see someone abusing an animal........you're losing your limbs, you'll be guts and meat.

I have violent fantasies of snuffing out predators, abusers, pedophiles, oppressors and I do not care.
I genuinely don't believe that I would be able to control myself. My body and mind cannot differentiate between fighting to inflict damage and actually killing to take a life. If i genuinely come across any abuser......I think I would just see red and start going ham, enjoy it, laugh maniacally and psychotically and that's it; it's done I just ruined my fucking life. I have decades of pent of RAGE oversaturated in my body at the brim like a pressure cooker waiting to blow off praying for a man to try me.

People can't even go grocery shopping without being sex/human trafficked.


Some of the things I do to prevent this is I stay away from humans as much as possible. No friends. I am absolutely detest humans, I have become a hermit and I love it. I don't go out unless absolutely necessary. I hate humans so much. We are parasites and leeches and we should go extinct.

Moderators I apologize if this is too violent. It's only towards abusers.

 

[Ijustcantanymore]

I definitely share your rage. I'll never understand what it's like to be a woman, let alone a woman of color. But the rage you feel against all of those other things. And the fantasies? I have them too. It's a completely normal reaction to injustice we can't correct and is actively rewarded.

Just try not to act on them. It's okay to fantasize. But trust me. You don't want prison. If you're not killed instantly by other inmates, the. You'll either have to go into protective custody (solitary confinement) or be brutalized until you are released.

I understand though. There are people alive in this world that definitely don't deserve to be. And those people are winning. That is very upsetting. Have you tried channeling this into fiction writing? It's a good way to express all these violent thoughts through the safety of a fictional story.

 

[Obliviate]

I definitely share your rage. I'll never understand what it's like to be a woman, let alone a woman of color. But the rage you feel against all of those other things. And the fantasies? I have them too. It's a completely normal reaction to injustice we can't correct and is actively rewarded.

Just try not to act on them. It's okay to fantasize. But trust me. You don't want prison. If you're not killed instantly by other inmates, the. You'll either have to go into protective custody (solitary confinement) or be brutalized until you are released.

I understand though. There are people alive in this world that definitely don't deserve to be. And those people are winning. That is very upsetting. Have you tried channeling this into fiction writing? It's a good way to express all these violent thoughts through the safety of a fictional story.

Hey, Profile pic is great and fits in perfectly to the topic of discussion. I know I don't want prison. But I cannot just stand by and let people assault me/animals. I will have to CTB then before it happens. There is no other option. So I would have to essentially off myself before I witness or am a victim. How sad and twisted is that?

 

[R. A.]

hey, i remember you from back in the day. looks like you're here again after a break...relatable, as is much of what you write. it feels like an eternal struggle (because it is) and i literally cannot see the empire being crushed in my lifetime.

on top of that my body's degrading faster and faster - i could maybe handle one of these things being true, but both? how am i supposed to grow old when the health systems are really death systems? how can i fight when i need ever more medical intervention to stay alive?

these days, legacies of disabled/femme/PoC resistance are some of the few things keeping me from being dead [for now], even though i only identify with the first of the three. maybe you staying away from people and continuing to fight to prevent harm by organizing is the way..?

 

[Ijustcantanymore]

Hey, Profile pic is great and fits in perfectly to the topic of discussion. I know I don't want prison. But I cannot just stand by and let people assault me/animals. I will have to CTB then before it happens. There is no other option. So I would have to essentially off myself before I witness or am a victim. How sad and twisted is that?

Sad and twisted yes
But also completely understandable. That basically me with ICE right now. I'm not going to stand by and let them take away people illegally. If I see it. I am intervening. Which will land me in jail also lol.

 

[FadeToBlack1109]

First of all, love your username (if that's a Harry Potter reference?)

Now, I totally understand your anger. And I don't even want to talk you out of it. But if you decided to end your life, this would mean there's one less warrior for a good cause and that the system had defeated you. This is exactly what cannot happen! I mean, in general! If all the good people decide to leave this world - even if it's with totally legitimate reasons - then the assholes have won!

Try to channel your rage into something useful. Have you considered going into politics? Maybe some kind of peaceful activism?

The biggest heroes the world has ever seen were all people with A LOT of rage, channeled into the right thing. Go watch MLK's famous speech, there's so much anger in that guy's face, but he's using it as fuel for the right cause and managed to change the world with it.

I don't mean to dissuade you from your decision to ctb if that's what you wanna do, but I just wanted to make sure you've considered other possibilities first.

Use your anger and don't let it use you!

 

[Obliviate]

hey, i remember you from back in the day. looks like you're here again after a break...relatable, as is much of what you write. it feels like an eternal struggle (because it is) and i literally cannot see the empire being crushed in my lifetime.

on top of that my body's degrading faster and faster - i could maybe handle one of these things being true, but both? how am i supposed to grow old when the health systems are really death systems? how can i fight when i need ever more medical intervention to stay alive?

these days, legacies of disabled/femme/PoC resistance are some of the few things keeping me from being dead [for now], even though i only identify with the first of the three. maybe you staying away from people and continuing to fight to prevent harm by organizing is the way..?

I in a way am glad to see old timers still on here. I cannot fathom growing old in this world when I REALLY can't defend myself. At this point there is nothing really that will keep me alive. Would love to work with animals but cannot make a living in that whatsoever.

First of all, love your username (if that's a Harry Potter reference?)

Now, I totally understand your anger. And I don't even want to talk you out of it. But if you decided to end your life, this would mean there's one less warrior for a good cause and that the system had defeated you. This is exactly what cannot happen! I mean, in general! If all the good people decide to leave this world - even if it's with totally legitimate reasons - then the assholes have won!

Try to channel your rage into something useful. Have you considered going into politics? Maybe some kind of peaceful activism?

The biggest heroes the world has ever seen were all people with A LOT of rage, channeled into the right thing. Go watch MLK's famous speech, there's so much anger in that guy's face, but he's using it as fuel for the right cause and managed to change the world with it.

I don't mean to dissuade you from your decision to ctb if that's what you wanna do, but I just wanted to make sure you've considered other possibilities first.

Use your anger and don't let it use you!

It absolutely is a harry potter reference. Wanting to disappear and forget. See, I used to be like you, think the way you did. I was a humanitarian. Was going to become a doc. What did I get from that? Nothing but disappointment from the disgusting humans. I wasted my life fighting for humans only to receive backstabbing and abandonment. I actually in fact opposite would like for the good people to exit and let the demonic evil plague parasite humans live to themselves where they eventually will destroy one another. Their demise will be themselves and they will be forced to face their evils when their is nothing left but that. Surrounded by empty soulless mirrors. I would have made a great doctor. A brilliant one. Then I realized these humans deserve nothing. they deserve to rot in filth and instead of saving lives I want them all to die instead. They don't deserve my brilliant mind. I could have cured so many diseases. I could have been an amazing politician. Fuck them all. I am gatekeeping my brilliant mind. I am dead inside and There is NOTHING that will keep me here.

Sad and twisted yes
But also completely understandable. That basically me with ICE right now. I'm not going to stand by and let them take away people illegally. If I see it. I am intervening. Which will land me in jail also lol.

I'm in the states as well. I am a potential target for ICE. I deserve to be here more than the colonizers. A country that was created on stolen land. I'm glad that your one one of the people who will stand and fight. Too many people have died and have gotten raped by Ice agents. If I'm going down I'm taking you with me.

hey, i remember you from back in the day. looks like you're here again after a break...relatable,

How have you been btw? Mind if I ask what's still keeping you here? I've wanted to go for a while now but my cats keep stopping me.