Why is it so hard to start a new (exhaustive) acitivity when you are depressed?

[noname223]

I really have problems to start studying or working. It really feels very very bad when I start these activities. It needs so much energy to overcome this feeling. I don't have this much problems to stay concentrated and focused. This still is a problem but not with this intensity than starting it. I think I have a lot of OCD when I start such an activity. I rather have problems to stop me from it when I am into the topic. I can be extremely eager and disciplined.

Though I feel so fucked up to force me almost every single day to start these activities. It feels like something would die inside myself. Lol. I am really good at torturing me you must know. I have learned twice in my life as much so that I developed a psychosis. (don't judge me I was manic) Sometimes I feel like I desevere the torture. I have once made a thread about it. (Not many have read it though) I have an ambivalent relation concerning torturing myself. I tend to be extreme in many of my activities. This was probably one reason for my psychosis. Torturing me only a little bit does not feel that good. Maybe another reason why I sometimes like torturing myself is I turn manic from that. And feeling manic can be qute nice. With torturing me I mean learning like more than 12 hours a day.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

It seems like being depressed makes one unable to want to do anything least of all something new. I think the depressed mind just has all sorts of ways of rationalizing in order to make something seem way more difficult or tedious to start which is why it makes itself not want to do anything.

 

[noname223]

It seems like being depressed makes one unable to want to do anything least of all something new. I think the depressed mind just has all sorts of ways of rationalizing in order to make something seem way more difficult or tedious to start which is why it makes itself not want to do anything.

I know this is the experience of many people with depressions. Though this does not count for me. I have a lot of plans what I could do during the day. I am an internet and youtube addict. I play video games etc. And partly I can enjoy it.

It is rather the dreadful activities which are when I am about to start them really torturous. Maybe this is to a certain degree human. Maybe it is rather my OCD/ manic behavior which makes me suffer this much. I am extremely self-disciplined. Other people are friendlier towards themselves. It sometimes feels painfiul when I am studying. My illness also deteriorated my concentration. It feels really bad if I force me to focus me on a dreadful activity for several hours.

Another theory is: I am just not used of studying without mania. When I was manic studying was so exciting. I had so much energy. It was so easy to study 12 hours a day.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

It's good that even with depression you can do things and occupy your time. About the OCD, maybe you should talk with your doctor and try to find something what helps you with that.

 

[hungry_ghost]

Lack of a dopamine reward system.