Why is it so hard to just let go?

[eternalmelancholy]

We all have our reasons why we want to CTB. All this time waiting around feels like kicking a can down the road. Eventually we are going to die either way. What is so great about life that we repeat the same cycle each day?

I don't like the person I've become and I fear what I will turn into. I don't like how I can't find the right words to accurately express how I feel. I am just so sick of this. Most days I don't even feel human.

 

[ClownMe]

The reason it is so hard to let go is because it's human nature to stay alive even when everything sucks, this life is all we've ever known and potentially all we'll ever know (depending on your beliefs), even though everyone dies eventually it doesn't make it any easier to ctb, it takes a ridiculous amount of mental strength to even attempt suicide, yet alone succeed.

I can relate to how you're feeling, im basically just filling in time until my dog dies so i can attempt suicide, it's an odd feeling.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

this life is all we've ever known and potentially all we'll ever know (depending on your beliefs), even though everyone dies eventually it doesn't make it any easier to ctb

Man this hit me so hard. It makes me feel so bad when I realize this was my one and only chance at experiencing existence. Life truly is a fucked up experience. Forced into existence only to realize our own inevitable fate. I guess it could be worse. Imagine if humans had a lifespan of 200 years or some shit.

 

[Lone_Gray_Wolf]

We are hardwired to survive, humans have a truly amazing will power to survive and exist; to find solutions to problems and to overcome them, to take measures and adapt. Ofc I am talking in the sense of us, as species, but part of that is in every single one of us; is built in us, and to overcome it takes a combination of an immense number of factors, but not impossible

Best of luck

 

[FuneralCry]

Suicide is very difficult. It requires a lot of courage. The society takes away the peaceful methods so we have to resort to methods that could fail. We are programmed to survive after all as well. Many people cling on to false hope which could be a manifestation of the survival instinct. Death is final after all. I wish it was easier to let go. There is no reason for me to stay. By ctb, I will be preventing decades of suffering.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

Suicide is very difficult. It requires a lot of courage. The society takes away the peaceful methods so we have to resort to methods that could fail. We are programmed to survive after all as well. Many people cling on to false hope which could be a manifestation of the survival instinct.

Yeah you can't even research suicide online without being bombarded by suicide prevention bullshit. There must be a reason why society tries so hard to censor information and restrict access to methods.

Dying is already hard enough without having to navigate through a maze of complications purposely put up by those in power. It is pretty fucking clear to me that we are just slaves for society. As long as someone can exploit us and make money off of us we are not allowed to die.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

It's SO hard to do. I'm in the contemplating stage and been so for 3-6 years. It's literally very hard you have to be placed at a point of complete desperation and see no way out where your survival is threatened.

 

[eternalmelancholy]

It's SO hard to do. I'm in the contemplating stage and been so for 3-6 years. It's literally very hard you have to be placed in the point of complete desperation and see no way out where your survival is threatened.

Yeah it is so fucking hard. The thing is every single year I think I am going to finally end it. But it has been 10 years of this same routine. I keep pushing off ctb for another day. Even times when I manage to make an attempt I just end up bailing.

It is pretty clear that I need a method that I can't back out of mid attempt. In the past few months my mental state has deteriorated so much that I barely recognize the person I am becoming. I don't want to live out the remainder of my days as an empty husk. I want to spare myself the trouble. I want to ctb out of self care.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Yeah it is so fucking hard. The thing is every single year I think I am going to finally end it. But it has been 10 years of this same routine. I keep pushing off ctb for another day. Even times when I manage to make an attempt I just end up bailing.

It is pretty clear that I need a method that I can't back out of mid attempt. In the past few months my mental state has deteriorated so much that I barely recognize the person I am becoming. I don't want to live out the remainder of my days as an empty husk. I want to spare myself the trouble. I want to ctb out of self care.

I relate to wanting to get out before becoming more empty. Suicide is definitely self care. It's incredibly difficult, you said you been struggling with suicidal ideation for 10 years? This terrifies me.

 

[bored_user]

Yeah you can't even research suicide online without being bombarded by suicide prevention bullshit. There must be a reason why society tries so hard to censor information and restrict access to methods.

Dying is already hard enough without having to navigate through a maze of complications purposely put up by those in power. It is pretty fucking clear to me that we are just slaves for society. As long as someone can exploit us and make money off of us we are not allowed to die.

society takes away our power of choice. This, to me, is the biggest sin there is. One should never take away anyone's power of choice in any matter. You cannot give a person false reasons to continue or give up, he has to find it within himself. Anyway, it's difficult, but not inevitable, eventually all this suffering will end, whether by death or better.

Good luck.

Yeah it is so fucking hard. The thing is every single year I think I am going to finally end it. But it has been 10 years of this same routine. I keep pushing off ctb for another day. Even times when I manage to make an attempt I just end up bailing.

It is pretty clear that I need a method that I can't back out of mid attempt. In the past few months my mental state has deteriorated so much that I barely recognize the person I am becoming. I don't want to live out the remainder of my days as an empty husk. I want to spare myself the trouble. I want to ctb out of self care.

I believe I know how it is, I feel "acting" to be my me. It's like I try very hard to be myself, because otherwise I end up being someone or something totally different.

 

[toforigivelife]

The primal human fear of death, human survival instinct, fear of the unknown, worrying about the effect our death will have on others.

I think all of us on SS deal with these issues.

 

[$nowLeopard]

Glimpses of a healthy brain