Why does life last so long?

[DaughterofUmbra]

There are moments when I quiet my mind and speak directly to the universe, offering up a simple, definitive truth: I am ready. It is a quiet declaration to my spirit guide, a conscious opening of the door to whatever comes next. More than anything, it is an summons for the next phase.

I reached forty not with a roar, but with a quiet, settling stillness. I am of sound mind. I am grounded, centered, and speaking my truth.

It isn't dramatic—there is no fanfare, no self-loathing. I simply know I've reached a natural ending point in my life. I can't speak for anyone else. This is just the natural progression of my timeline—a point where the things that once hurt me deeply have finally lost their sting.

I find myself existing in a strange, beautiful duality: fully present in the room, yet watching life unfold from a gentle, peaceful distance. I am at a point I want to completely disengage though.

Yet, the stillness has a shadow. Loneliness still sits in the corner, heavy and persistent. I am one of those people who could disappear, and it might take time before anyone notices. One of those quiet souls who, if they passed, might not be found until absence becomes impossible to ignore due to natural decay.

I have lived under this spinning globe through countless setting suns and new moons on the horizon. It is a solitary vantage point, but it is mine. And I am ready for the sun to set upon the next horizon.

I hope this was okay to post. I just wanted to connect. I am new here and not sure if this was right section to post this. My apologies if it isn't. I hope everyone is doing well.

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

Would be a shame
You have a pretty soul and a way with words
And it seems you have clairvoyance too
Life is always overlong unless you share it with another, then it is too short

Welcome to sasu btw

 

[DaughterofUmbra]

Would be a shame
You have a pretty soul and a way with words
And it seems you have clairvoyance too
Life is always overlong unless you share it with another, then it is too short

Welcome to sasu btw

Greetings, JeyJeyOfJeypore,

Thank you for your kind words. Why do you think I am clairvoyant? We must agree to disagree on one account, however: I have outgrown the notion that other people can fill any need I have, if I had any needs at all. My deepest need is for rest beyond, food, money, hunger, love, to be desired. I do feel lonely, yet I no longer desire anchors to this world including people. People simply disappoint.

I would be open to people to engage as I finish my last great adventure but only as people you meet on a train as your traveling to your final destination. You don't exchange contact info, write letters, visit each other. There would be no permeance. You leave them as you both eventually depart the same train but at different times, for different reasons, each at their own predetermined locations.

I been on my own for the long haul. I am comfortable with my own company. Every now and again another echo in my chamber of secrets and shadows would be nice, at a distance. We come into this world alone, we will leave it alone.

I need something more from life than what another person can provide—a void, grown wider and deeper over time, that is entirely all-consuming yet feels like home. The only thing life has left me with is a will to depart. I am too far gone, well past the point of returning to the busyness of life and the trivial pursuits men use to pass their time on earth. I have no expectations, no hope in others, and no hope in the future.

Would be a shame
You have a pretty soul and a way with words
And it seems you have clairvoyance too
Life is always overlong unless you share it with another, then it is too short

Welcome to sasu btw

Why can't I view your profile?

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

Greetings, JeyJeyOfJeypore,

Thank you for your kind words. Why do you think I am clairvoyant?

I feel it

We must agree to disagree on one account, however: I have outgrown the notion that other people can fill any need I have, if I had any needs at all. My deepest need is for rest beyond, food, money, hunger, love, to be desired.

Oh my god. What happened to you

I do feel lonely, yet I no longer desire anchors to this world including people. People simply disappoint.

They do. But only if you have expectations

I would be open to people to engage as I finish my last great adventure but only as people you meet on a train as your traveling to your final destination. You don't exchange contact info, write letters, visit each other. There would be no permeance. You leave them as you both eventually depart the same train but at different times, for different reasons, each at their own predetermined locations.

i like chasing after trains and shouting after ppl not to go

I been on my own for the long haul. I am comfortable with my own company. Every now and again another echo in my chamber of secrets and shadows would be nice, at a distance. We come into this world alone, we will leave it alone.

Indeed. We live and die alone
you may be comfortable but your body wont be. The human form of existence has certain needs, either denying or not letting go of the loss of such needs will lead to a cycle of pain

I need something more from life than what another person can provide—a void, grown wider and deeper over time, that is entirely all-consuming yet feels like home. The only thing life has left me with is a will to depart. I am too far gone,

Yes...
No one can provide it except yourself.
Think you might be looking the wrong way though

well past the point of returning to the busyness of life and the trivial pursuits men use to pass their time on earth.

See you do have an idea of what fun is

I have no expectations, no hope in others, and no hope in the future.

neither do i and i turned out ok

 

[_Gollum_]

I relate very deeply to the feeling of simply having reached your natural endpoint. To the feeling of "readiness." I've seen enough, I've had good experiences and bad experiences, and I'm ready to go.

If my life was a book, then this was the last chapter, and I'm ready to put the pen down. I don't need any more experiences, good or bad.

Your writing reminds me of the one of the most eloquent users on this site, @avalokitesvara. You may want to peruse their writings

 

[JeyJeyOfJeypore]

You cannot view my profile because of your privacy settings

 

[DaughterofUmbra]

You cannot view my profile because of your privacy settings

Okay, I am new; still learning how to navigate the site. Thanks for the tip.

 

[DaughterofUmbra]

I relate very deeply to the feeling of simply having reached your natural endpoint. To the feeling of "readiness." I've seen enough, I've had good experiences and bad experiences, and I'm ready to go.

If my life was a book, then this was the last chapter, and I'm ready to put the pen down. I don't need any more experiences, good or bad.

Your writing reminds me of the one of the most eloquent users on this site, @avalokitesvara. You may want to peruse their writings

Thank you for your response. I couldn't relate more. Thank you for the compliment. I will check out her profile.

 

[Hollowman]

Very relatable, I'm at the same point. I'm trying not to go before my mom but I'm so done.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I absolutely relate. I'm 46 and also feel like I've experienced enough or, all that I want to- anyhow. I also just feel exhausted now and, want to stop.

I wonder what life was like when modern medicine didn't interupt our natural life expectancies.

 

[foreverfalling]

I've experienced enough of life that I know the rest will be the same or worse than now. I am only getting older so my health will only go downwards. I'm too old to learn anything new quickly. I've never really had many life experiences I wanted to have. I think up to 40s or so would still be alright, but 50 would be too long. I'd start feeling old and actually have health problems. At that point it'd just be a very prolonged death over maybe 30 or so years, getting worse and worse.

 

[DaughterofUmbra]

I've experienced enough of life that I know the rest will be the same or worse than now. I am only getting older so my health will only go downwards. I'm too old to learn anything new quickly. I've never really had many life experiences I wanted to have. I think up to 40s or so would still be alright, but 50 would be too long. I'd start feeling old and actually have health problems. At that point it'd just be a very prolonged death over maybe 30 or so years, getting worse and worse.

I couldn't agree more. Can we get a round of applause? You spoke no lies, friend.