• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
WrathfulGloom32

WrathfulGloom32

🫠
Oct 12, 2024
1,167
I was just thinking about my many conversations with friends or family. They go kind of like this:

"Listen, I understand you want this or that from me but I don't care, in a maximum of 1-2 years I'll be dead, I do not care about what happens to my health nor my future."

"But I don't understand, you can still try, so many young people are doing this and that"

"You are comparing a dead person to a young one who wants to live, obviously someone who has interest in this shithole you call earth and this stupid theater play you call life will try to do things , I don't have an interest in either so I don't try at all."

"This conversation has upset me, why are you saying these things."

"Okay then, goodbye."

And then the next time we meet they act like THIS STILL DOESN'T APPLY? And I just started to remind them by the way, I don't care, everytime they act around me like I want to live, like I don't want to die , I just remind them that they are talking to a soon to be dead person, so they shouldn't get their hopes or demands up because I'll just close the phone on them, I got less phone calls from my family/extended family since then. Good for me, the idiots finally stop bothering me.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Emerita, nonameno5, WakingNightmare and 6 others
D

dontwakemeup

Paragon
Nov 11, 2024
910
A lot of people can't accept and understand that everyone doesn't want to live until they are 135 yrs old🙄 There is no age that people will day, "ok, I understand you're tired, go ahead and leave!" I made my mind up over 10 yrs ago I was done and never changed it. I wish people would respect what we say as we respect their decision to live forever! It's ironic because as soon as one of us ctb, they will be at our funerals lying and saying there were no signs😒 Save your breath, you have told everyone and if they don't accept it or listen then oh well. I just keep my thoughts to myself now.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: usernamesarehard, pthnrdnojvsc, _Gollum_ and 2 others
W

wham311

Enlightened
Mar 1, 2025
1,201
Dude I know thinks he did a service to me in trying to guilt trip me out of committing. Bro you did this for you not for me. Throws it in my face that he "talked me out of it". I didn't fucking ask you to, and you didn't, I just am unable. A real friend would have helped.

Your pussy ass isn't actually suicidal or you wouldn't be 5150ing yourself. If you don't want to live you actually do not want to live
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: usernamesarehard and WrathfulGloom32
Droso

Droso

Born, survive, reproduce, die.
Dec 23, 2024
257
People like this won't and will never understand until they become suicidal. It fucking sucks, but I suggest you stop talking to the people in your life about this. Yes it will make you feel lonely and alienated, especially when they put expectations on you about living, but in the end they won't listen. They can't understand. The instinct to live is biologically driven into us until we experience such suffering that we wish to die.

You can also never trust people like this not to lock you up and throw you in a psychward. They will say they are doing it because they love and care about you. And maybe that's true. But it's selfish and you will further your suffering.

I'm sorry that we cannot talk about these things with the people in our lives. Having these expectations put onto us while we do not function on the same principles of living is frustrating and alienating. It feels like you can never be your true self and must put on an act.
 
  • Like
Reactions: ConstantPain, charlie_cat_51925 and pthnrdnojvsc
ladylazarus4

ladylazarus4

exhausted
May 12, 2024
275
Being truly suicidal is unfathomable to most people. It is completely against the nature of all species- to reproduce and survive. While I think most people have wished to die at some point, few have actually grappled with death seriously. To be honest, it's really not fair to talk that way to people. They don't understand how to help so you're putting them between a rock and a hard place. Do they allow the person they care about to die? Or do they put you in the psych ward- perhaps the only way they know how to help? Obviously these people don't see earth as a shithole so you disagree on a fundamental level. There can never be understanding because of that, at least not while you are actively pursuing suicide imo.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Kali_Yuga13 and wham311
charlie_cat_51925

charlie_cat_51925

Maybe tomorrow, a bullet may find me
May 19, 2025
21
All the time I used to be called immature for being suicidal. I thought that they were friends I could ask for help or support from. But she sexually assaulted me and called me immature. She thinks she's better because she's not suicidal, because she can be a huge bitch and get away with it. I decided to stand up for myself one time and that got me put in the psych ward and left me homeless. I don't regret it, I wish I could stand up to her again and let her know how much I hate her. She made me want to kill myself and if I had never met her then I wouldn't have attempted to CTB when we lived together. I'm glad her partner left her and told her to kill herself. She deserves to suffer. But people got mad at me for attempting and said I shouldn't kill myself because of someone else. She constantly took advantage of me and sexually assaulted me. She used me and when she was done she treated me like shit and hurt me. Why was I expected to just live with it? Why is it wrong to say that I was going to kill myself because of her? She made me miserable and she made me suffer and she made me want to be dead. She abused my cat and he was afraid too. I don't understand why I put up with it for so long.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: ladylazarus4

Similar threads

nails
Replies
5
Views
371
Suicide Discussion
neverexistedd
neverexistedd
S
Replies
8
Views
532
Suicide Discussion
U. A.
U. A.
nails
Replies
0
Views
157
Suicide Discussion
nails
nails
LonelyPrince
Replies
2
Views
232
Suicide Discussion
cyanlove
cyanlove
RedFruit
Replies
2
Views
227
Suicide Discussion
sourcherry
sourcherry