Venting why are therapists so unhelpful? they're just annoying!

[angelofbows]

Therapists don't even care about you, they just want a paycheck, in turn, when you actually want to commit suicide they can't do shit, only send you to a mental hospital or call your parents, and what's that supposed to do? coax you in to being silent about your problems in the future? they're awful, awful awful awful, useless too, and why do they want you to think about other people or things you like in life like.. I've already thought all this through, why do you think im ready to commit? you don't just jump in to it blind, they should just recognize their words are a bother and help you escape once it's really the best choice.

Therapists are a waste of money and serve to tell you what you've already been told, i'm sick of being sent to them, what can i even say to never go to one again.

MEDICINE TOO! dont give it to me if you know i wont take it.

 

[tsykoais]

call your parents? op if you're over 18 i don't think they should be notifying your parents for anything. also i 100% agree, therapy really did not help for me if anything it just triggered and awakened more of my inner trauma.

 

[angelofbows]

call your parents? op if you're over 18 i don't think they should be notifying your parents for anything. also i 100% agree, therapy really did not help for me if anything it just triggered and awakened more of my inner traumaerapists within schools can call your parents, not mine. it depends on curcumstands

I'm not talking about currently, sorry if that wasn't obvious. Depending on what stage of life your in they'll take different actions, when I was 12-14 (somewhere there) they did in fact, tell my parents.

 

[tsykoais]

I'm not talking about currently, sorry if that wasn't obvious. Depending on what stage of life your in they'll take different actions, when I was 12-14 (somewhere there) they did in fact, tell my parents.

no it's okay that happened to me to when i was younger and dumb enough to think that the school system actually cared about me and how i felt

 

[angelofbows]

no it's okay that happened to me to when i was younger and dumb enough to think that the school system actually cared about me and how i felt

They really don't, in a way I believe it's manipulating children to say "you can tell me anything" or "I'll only tell if someones BEING hurt" and tell anyway if someone says their suicidal, but maybe not COMMITING suicide, and actual therapists aren't much better when it comes to supporting you, they exist to tell you what you already know.

 

[SufferingInDenmark]

because therapists mostly are meant for people with small problems, compared to people who have extremely serious problems, which can never be fixed.
like epilepsy or amputees. a fucking therapist can't magically fix that.
and it's money based of course... hour is up, now get the fuck out my office.
there's way too much bootlicking about doctors in general.

i was once at a therapist session and she was terrible.
i joined in on my then girlfriend's session, because my gf had told the therapist about me.
so anyway, i felt like "this is what you pay this fucking huge amount of money for every month?"

i see people say "oh you're not a licensed doctor, shut up!" if someone tries to give advice,
and that advice is TEN TIMES BETTER than the shrink i went to.

they're also very irrational and emotional based, you're never gonna find a therapist who's a realist and logical,
it's all emotional driven bullshit, which leads no where.

 

[angelofbows]

because therapists mostly are meant for people with small problems, compared to people who have extremely serious problems, which can never be fixed.
like epilepsy or amputees. a fucking therapist can't magically fix that.
and it's money based of course... hour is up, now get the fuck out my office.
there's way too much bootlicking about doctors in general.

i was once at a therapist session and she was terrible.
i joined in on my then girlfriend's session, because my gf had told the therapist about me.
so anyway, i felt like "this is what you pay this fucking huge amount of money for every month?"

i see people say "oh you're not a licensed doctor, shut up!" if someone tries to give advice,
and that advice is TEN TIMES BETTER than the shrink i went to.

they're also very irrational and emotional based, you're never gonna find a therapist who's a realist and logical,
it's all emotional driven bullshit, which leads no where.

You're so right, therapists are DEAD ENDS, if it's over it's over, they just don't care.

god fucking thank you so much

 

[SufferingInDenmark]

You're so right, therapists are DEAD ENDS, if it's over it's over, they just don't care.

god fucking thank you so much

not to mention how liberally they give out medicine.
i have a friend who can only shit once a week because she was pretty much forced to go on depression pills when she was 15 by her doctor.
sorry for the bluntness, but i dont know what its called, permanent constipation maybe? english isnt my first language.
now it's 10 years later, and she will have that problem forever

 

[Merocero]

not to mention how liberally they give out medicine.
i have a friend who can only shit once a week because she was pretty much forced to go on depression pills when she was 15 by her doctor.
sorry for the bluntness, but i dont know what its called, permanent constipation maybe? english isnt my first language.
now it's 10 years later, and she will have that problem forever

I've never realised that therapists can prescribe meds in other places?? in my country only psychiatrists can prescribe meds..
I went to therapy before finishing school because it was free, and while i went there it did help, but once i had to quit my life instantly got shitty again so sigh,, i guess it doesnt help
I never had my therapist "snitch" on me but thats also cause at that point i was more stable and now i'd be scared of being honest with a therapist... I had the school psychologist snitch on me and i had to wait in her office for an hour for my dad to pick me up, it was do humiliating, that is not help.

 

[monetpompo]

fuck doctors. my mom is a nurse and my dad is a training to be a therapist. i'm telling you right now they're in it for the money and they don't know ANYTHING about how to treat a person or how to help them, because they're total shit parents. my dad doesn't do anything to raise me and my mom just berates me. my mom doesn't even understand why people see suicide as an option or why anyone would be depressed when "life is so beautiful", when she's meant to have a more nuanced perspective of mental illness if she's supposed to be an actual nurse. i hate that most doctors only go into their profession because they want money. my dad can't even convince my mom to stop calling me worthless and stupid even though he's supposed to "counsel" people.

doctors are human. they're fallible. when i was SAed at 14 the doctors started victim blaming me, made me wait in the waiting room for 3 hours before telling me to go to a different hospital because they don't have rape kits, then at the end they shrugged their shoulders and told me to go home because they didn't find enough evidence. we left home in the afternoon and the sun was going down when my dad was driving me home. don't get me started on the way cops treated me when i had to tell them what happened. they kept on prodding me for info and telling me to be more explicit otherwise they wouldn't believe me. fuck you. i fucking hate people that government puts in power through money.

i don't trust therapists or medication. it all makes me so mad. you pay a therapist to listen to you and if you get a bad therapist you have to go see another one and pay money to see if they'll actually listen to you and not just say stuff that doesn't work. it's easier for someone to kill themselves then get a good therapist atp. like oh my god. why do i have to do all this work just to be happy? why is money a prerequisite to being happy and not wanting to kill yourself? do you just die if you're too poor to afford it?

 

[angelofbows]

fuck doctors. my mom is a nurse and my dad is a training to be a therapist. i'm telling you right now they're in it for the money and they don't know ANYTHING about how to treat a person or how to help them, because they're total shit parents. my dad doesn't do anything to raise me and my mom just berates me. my mom doesn't even understand why people see suicide as an option or why anyone would be depressed when "life is so beautiful", when she's meant to have a more nuanced perspective of mental illness if she's supposed to be an actual nurse. i hate that most doctors only go into their profession because they want money. my dad can't even convince my mom to stop calling me worthless and stupid even though he's supposed to "counsel" people.

doctors are human. they're fallible. when i was SAed at 14 the doctors started victim blaming me, made me wait in the waiting room for 3 hours before telling me to go to a different hospital because they don't have rape kits, then at the end they shrugged their shoulders and told me to go home because they didn't find enough evidence. we left home in the afternoon and the sun was going down when my dad was driving me home. don't get me started on the way cops treated me when i had to tell them what happened. they kept on prodding me for info and telling me to be more explicit otherwise they wouldn't believe me. fuck you. i fucking hate people that government puts in power through money.

i don't trust therapists or medication. it all makes me so mad. you pay a therapist to listen to you and if you get a bad therapist you have to go see another one and pay money to see if they'll actually listen to you and not just say stuff that doesn't work. it's easier for someone to kill themselves then get a good therapist atp. like oh my god. why do i have to do all this work just to be happy? why is it so hard?

It's easier for someone to kill themselves than do ANYTHING AT ALL! Your parents are on track to go fuck some people up and drain the wallets of people who are already on their way out, it just doesn't make sense why this is advertised as a "way out" therapy isn't a way out of your problems, it opens up more wounds than it stitches.

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

I luckily have a therapist I can safely talk about anything like opioid abuse, CTB ideation and SaSu. She has been through so many difficulties such as her ADHD and ASD, abusive ex. Probably these experiences made her such a non-judgmental thrapist. I understand there are few therapists like her. I'm really lucky and grateful to her, but not good enough to get better. I'm feeling like a waste of good therapists.

 

[SufferingInDenmark]

doctors are human. they're fallible.

"doctors are human, they're fallible." perfect quote.
i've had many many MANY doctors of many different kinds treat me very evil.
growing up is realizing that fancy titles don't mean shit... doctors, news anchors, etc etc... they can just never be wrong lol.
yes they fucking can you idiots

 

[Abyss Dweller]

I don't think they are unhelpful but I still have trouble accepting the difficulty and time it takes when we are talking about navigating mental health.

A therapist doesn't work really well so what do you do? Try another. You suspect the type of therapy doesn't work well for you so again what do you do? Find another therapist who specializes in the method that you suspect will work.
You go to a psychiatrist. They put you on some medication. They don't do jack. So what do they do? They put you on a different one.

I can't help but feel like I'm being blindfolded and spinning and trying to hit a bullseye.

And all of this takes time. The medicine you are trying, you usually take it for a month or two before you can say ok this doesn't do jack. With a therapist you don't usually say it is not working in a week you might give it.. i don't know a year or two or three.

I don't want to write any age here but I just feel like after a certain age for me I might just say like 'look.. we tried it's not working what is the point in doing all this anymore?'

I luckily have a therapist I can safely talk about anything like opioid abuse, CTB ideation and SaSu. She has been through so many difficulties such as her ADHD and ASD, abusive ex. Probably these experiences made her such a non-judgmental thrapist. I understand there are few therapists like her. I'm really lucky and grateful to her, but not good enough to get better. I'm feeling like a waste of good therapists.

Being non judgmental for a therapist is like step 0.
If they are they are probably not good.

 

[Nightfoot]

Finding a therapist you gel with can be like dating. If one isn't a good fit, try another until you find one who is.

 

[SufferingInDenmark]

Finding a therapist you gel with can be like dating. If one isn't a good fit, try another until you find one who is.

which might as well be a friend at the gym, a cab driver or whatever. their little licenses don't mean anything

 

[Forever Sleep]

I assume they are assuming that we want to 'recover' to enjoy life again though. Otherwise, why would we go? We know they won't help us suicide. Their focus is obviously going to be on aiding living rather than dying.

I only saw a college therapist a couple of times years ago but, at that time I was more focussed on making a go of life rather than death. It would be a waste of both our time if I went now because I have no interest or intention to 'recover'.

That said, I do agree with you. It seems like they aren't always all that helpful. Out of interest, what approach do you think would be better? I certainly don't like the sound of the ones who refuse to even discuss suicide. Like repressing it will make it go away! But, what kind of attitude would you prefer them to have? An acceptance that our lives are in fact f*cked and, we may well suicide but, they'll be there for us to vent to in the interim? Would you prefer it if they didn't try to suggest life affirming things?

Therapists do seem to vary widely. Some do actually seem refreshingly accepting of the reality of their patients mindsets. Others seem blinkered in their approach.

 

[angelofbows]

I assume they are assuming that we want to 'recover' to enjoy life again though. Otherwise, why would we go? We know they won't help us suicide. Their focus is obviously going to be on aiding living rather than dying.

I only saw a college therapist a couple of times years ago but, at that time I was more focussed on making a go of life rather than death. It would be a waste of both our time if I went now because I have no interest or intention to 'recover'.

That said, I do agree with you. It seems like they aren't always all that helpful. Out of interest, what approach do you think would be better? I certainly don't like the sound of the ones who refuse to even discuss suicide. Like repressing it will make it go away! But, what kind of attitude would you prefer them to have? An acceptance that our lives are in fact f*cked and, we may well suicide but, they'll be there for us to vent to in the interim? Would you prefer it if they didn't try to suggest life affirming things?

Therapists do seem to vary widely. Some do actually seem refreshingly accepting of the reality of their patients mindsets. Others seem blinkered in their approach.

I think it would be a bit better if (pretraining to adults, and people who truly know what they want) when discussing suicide if you want to commit, they accept that it is your body and your approach and path to peace, with that being said, in a PERFECT world, they could discuss (of course painless) ways of CBT with you, because if a therapist can accept that you own YOUR body and YOUR life, that makes them good.

Of course, the healthcare system would never allow this "unethical" treatment.

It may make me seem a little crazy for me to say that all, but I'd rather someone CBT informed, go out painlessly and quickly (or their preferred way) rather than suffer or be hospitalized because they were ill-informed.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

Therapists want you to come back to the norm, they don't want you to be fixed and happy with the way you are right now, they think "this person is unhappy because he is not part of the norm, I must bring them back to the norm; Else they'd tell you there is nothing they can do and to end your life and stop bothering them.

You can see this online too, the empathy immediately disappears for anyone who doesn't fit or want to fit the norm/have a job/participate in society even if society itself is the reason that they ended up suicidal; yes people hate suicidal or depressed people who don't want to fit back into the norm, I guess thanks for proving our point that life sucks?

 

[somewhatdeadly]

what would one expect from them? do they think going to therapy is any different from going to a mosque church or a synagogue? both works through coercion to accepting life accepting the norm and becoming "normal"

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it would be a bit better if (pretraining to adults, and people who truly know what they want) when discussing suicide if you want to commit, they accept that it is your body and your approach and path to peace, with that being said, in a PERFECT world, they could discuss (of course painless) ways of CBT with you, because if a therapist can accept that you own YOUR body and YOUR life, that makes them good.

Of course, the healthcare system would never allow this "unethical" treatment.

It may make me seem a little crazy for me to say that all, but I'd rather someone CBT informed, go out painlessly and quickly (or their preferred way) rather than suffer or be hospitalized because they were ill-informed.

I do completely understand the appeal of this. However, it would entail them admitting defeat effectively- that neither any of the treatments they can provide or, any their 'profession' can provide will result in relief or improvement. I doubt they want to concede this to be honest. And most definitely not without a long history of (failed) treatments.

The other problem with mental illnesses is that there seems to be fewer hard and fast rules. I imagine it's easier for doctors treating physical ailments to say- I'm sorry- there's nothing out there to fix this. Psychological treatment on the other hand seems to me to be far more experimental. As in- if that didn't work, let's try you on this.

It's not to say therapists never support people with their final decision to CTB. I think there have been cases where people have been aided in assisted suicide because of mental illness but, I imagine their doctors had a long, documented history with them. I don't know for sure of course but, that's the impression I get.

All people in the medical field promise to protect life though. I imagine it really goes against the grain for some if they end up being requested to assist their patients in death.

But then, that's why I think it should be separate to the medical profession. It urks me that a doctor should even have that power of referral over me. They would blankly refuse I imagine in my case because, I have next to no medical history of (failed) treatment. But then, why should they have so much power over us?

To my mind, the role of assessing someone for assisted suicide shouldn't lie with the medial profession. Rather, specially trained people who can assess mental capacity. Who are able to talk to the person to establish whether this is absolutely the right choice for them and, if there are things they maybe haven't considered. I would also personally support a waiting period to prevent impulsive attempts. But, that's something else. I think assisted suicide should be made available to more people but, I still believe it needs regulating.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Eliska]

They never helped me. Not single time. Just empty talking.