Why am I a pussy

[Ednospatient]

Why am I such a pussy? I want to die but I can't go through with it and it annoys me SO much

Fuck SI

 

[OrcWitch]

I understand. SI is infuriating. Like our true self is at war with our animal brain on a daily basis.

 

[GreenTree]

It's the most scary thing a human can do. Fear of failure is scary too. Fuck this world.

 

[FuneralCry]

It is not cowardly at all, feeling as though you cannot ctb. We are programmed to survive after all. If it was easier I would be already gone. I understand, it is frustrating. The thing that I want is to fall asleep and never wake again.

 

[Chiisai]

Why am I such a pussy? I want to die but I can't go through with it and it annoys me SO much

Fuck SI

Here here. I feel you. Know that you are not alone with that feeling. I feel the same. Ive been just staring at my SN right by my bedside. Havent touched it for almost half a year now but I really want to leave too. I think it takes time. Hugs.

 

[Ednospatient]

I'm unable to order SN, trust me I would, so I'm torn between overdosing and CO poisoning.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

Here here. I feel you. Know that you are not alone with that feeling. I feel the same. Ive been just staring at my SN right by my bedside. Havent touched it for almost half a year now but I really want to leave too. I think it takes time. Hugs.

I'm so jealous of you! I want to have SN ready too but I live with my mom so I can't.

 

[Chiisai]

I'm unable to order SN, trust me I would, so I'm torn between overdosing and CO poisoning.

Sorry to hear that. But I tell you, that fear you're feeling is valid. As what @FuneralCry said, we are programmed to survive and the mere fact that you are going against that programming just proves that you are not cowardly. Heck, you are fighting against it. Just know that battles are sometimes not quick, some are long-drawn. It might be that in between, there's a chance the situation reevaluates or you gain the strength to pursue whatever your choice is. Just know you are not alone and I wish you well in whatever decision you choose.

I'm so jealous of you! I want to have SN ready too but I live with my mom so I can't.

Lol. No need to be jealous. I dont have the courage to use it yet so its basically just an accessory at this point.

 

[Ednospatient]

It fucking hurts knowing I don't have the balls to harm myself.. I just want the suffering to stop.

 

[WatermelonMel]

Yep, SI's a bitch. If it wasn't, a lot of us would be long gone by now.

 

[toforigivelife]

Why am I such a pussy? I want to die but I can't go through with it and it annoys me SO much

Fuck SI

You're not a pussy.

As a result of I don't know how many millions of years of evolution you have the primal fear of death that is ingrained in all conscious, living things, regardless of how bad their mental health or circumstances.

That's why all suicidal people sometimes have a sense of ambivalence when it comes to dying.

I was supposed to be dead last Wednesday afternoon.

The primal fear of death explains why there are people who fearfully cling to life no matter how horrible their circumstances are.

I'm sorry you've been brought to the point of wanting to end your life.

I wish I could make things better but if you decide that ending your life is truly what's best for you then I respect, not to mention empathize with, your decision and wish you a peaceful passing.

In the meantime I'll keep hoping that things get better for you.

 

[TheHatedOne]

I can relate to this so much, I tried to hang myself yesterday for the 4343435495th time but when I put the noose around my neck I felt like I had to throw up and gave up. This is the fucking real hell I can't describe it.

 

[Darkmoon Queen]

Most of us are 'pussies'. Don't beat yourself up, it isn't exactly easy to overcome survival instinct and it's perfectly human to be afraid. Being suicidal doesn't mean all of your fears evapourate.