who or what do you guys live for ?

[regular john]

I am 50. Never had job career. I have no family. Never had a girlfriend. I am on my own. Unemployed at the moment . No education. Only high school. I don't think it makes sense to continue living. Can you tell me guys what you live for ?

 

[Life_and_Death]

my brothers and loved ones. but past that......im not really sure. this seems like one of those hidden deep within myself answers that i have to find

 

[WornOutLife]

Hi! I'm surprised because you're 50. You've really endured life and must have been through many hard times.

As for me, I'm only living for my dad and dog. Don't wanna hurt them but unfortunately, I will, because I'm leaving in a few months. (or less)

 

[Gnip]

My mother. If COVID were to take her, I would be gone before she is interred and I have the means to do it.

 

[rabbithole]

My parents. I was just reading lots of articles on r/ about parents who have lost children to suicide and it makes it so difficult to do anything knowing the pain I will cause. I wish there was another option.

 

[WornOutLife]

My parents. I was just reading lots of articles on r/ about parents who have lost children to suicide and it makes it so difficult to do anything knowing the pain I will cause. I wish there was another option.

I really feel you, bro.
My dad is everything to me!

 

[Steamm]

My mom and my grandma

 

[demuic]

My mother. Nothing else really.

 

[Kat!]

My ferret and this forum.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

My mom. She's the reason why I'm even bothering to sustain this faulty meat robot in the first place. After she's gone, I'll put up the white flag of surrender. I have no intention of seeing this life through.

 

[Sensei]

Hi! I'm surprised because you're 50. You've really endured life and must have been through many hard times.

Good times too, we have to assume.

OP, I feel you. My situation is not identical to yours, but I'm almost your age and share some of your problems. First and foremost I live for myself. The odds aren't good and I may simply be delusional, but I still have some hope that things will get better. I live for my parents too, because they're very old and it would devastate them if I killed myself.

 

[StringPuppet]

Nothing I should probably just die already

 

[awfullife]

my kids and my dad.

 

[sadgirl2002]

My true love but I know it won't keep me here anymore.

 

[Deleted member 22624]

I'm enduring for a few years because my gf has hope for me and I owe it to her to try. Hope is one of the best things many people have. The more you can "live in that space", the more drive and positivity you can find. Hope for happiness and explore where it takes you, hopefully.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I am 50. Never had job career. I have no family. Never had a girlfriend. I am on my own. Unemployed at the moment . No education. Only high school. I don't think it makes sense to continue living. Can you tell me guys what you live for ?

I feel for you. I'm in my mid-20s and even though I have a university degree, employers have been reluctant to hire me due to me being unemployed for a very long time. I'm not willing to say that I've been ill when asked why, as that'll lower my chances of being hired. Seeing people around me with at least a source of income and/or relationship makes me feel like I don't belong.

 

[Bigpink]

Nothing comes to mind

 

[MYTHoLogic]

Myself.

Both my family and friends have let me down. Especially my family, nothing but abuse, gaslighting and victim blaming. If I can't trust the people I am meant to be able to trust the most then all I have left is myself.

I've been working on the relationship I have with myself for a few years now. Absolutely no where near where I would like it to be but I have made a lot of progress in those years

 

[GoneGirl]

At one point I was living for my sister who is younger than me & who I loved very much. I didn't want her to be affected by my suicide.

I made it clear to her when I failed to kill myself that she was the only reason I chose to stay alive and not make a serious attempt.

Very soon after that she stole from me, became very disrespectful towards me & tried to get me sectioned. She has also told lies about me to people.

Now I don't have anybody to live for. I'm constantly switching back and forth between living to pursue my dreams with absolutely nothing to lose. Or killing myself because I have absolutely nothing to live for.

Its honestly a very strange position to be in.

 

[ZardozOmega]

I genuinely don't know. Almost every aspect of my life is horrible. I guess the only reasons I haven't off myself is because of fear.

 

[Canon1]

Just live because of my parents. If they weren't here I'd be gone.

 

[yive]

nothing to lose. i just exist. i'm soooooo apathetic... and i don't care about anything.
darkness, despair and alienation

 

[EmptyManForever]

There's nothing in this world that makes me happy anymore, and I'm not living for anyone or anything, I just exist and mostly because I feel so empty headed and with an empty head its almost impossible to do anything, even ctb is almost impossible cuz I have no thoughts left ,so I just continue existing until I get my thoughts back one day, once I get my thoughts I will have to ctb whether I like it or not

 

[Mmm_x8x]

I lived for my mother, but 2 years ago she had a stroke and was bedridden without moving or speaking. Life is no longer life for me. But I must continue for now to take care of her. But I die every day that I see her like this. We were very close, always traveling and doing fun things. I wish I was turning my life off little by little.

 

[InterstateFlowers]

My parents. I was just reading lots of articles on r/ about parents who have lost children to suicide and it makes it so difficult to do anything knowing the pain I will cause. I wish there was another option.

It's nice I'm not alone in this, I do it too. I read r/suicidebereavement and vent to friends if I need to so I can keep myself from doing anything rash, I'll utterly crush my parents and my little sister and I don't have the mental fortitude fully accept that or in the afterlife (if I can feel guilty in the afterlife, I'm sure to feel guilty even though I'll watch over my family 24/7, I'll definitely be those souls have hover over the family instead of moving on). My family and little sister are everything to me so I prefer to take my method immediately if there were a freak accident where I'm the only one left.

OP, I'm sorry you're in this situation. I'm amazed you're 50 because I don't think I'm strong enough to live to that age. Do you have any hobbies that keep you busy?

 

[Nymph]

I live for my bunny. I kinda regret getting him cause now I'm stuck here till he dies. I can't ctb because he's too dependent on me and my family won't take care of him.

 

[stygal]

I live just for my self and entertainment/education - books, movies, music and talking to other likeminded people. I kinda still enjoy that...since I'm leaving soon anyways I might at least feel rested (lots of sleep) and entertained.
But as far as other people/animals: I'm glad I am not dependent on somebody or somebody on me. It would make this situation overly complicated and hard.

 

[clownangel]

My mom, my cat, my lifelong best friend, and sometimes spite. Recently when things have bottomed out I've been reminding myself that if I go now and ignore those - with the pandemic funeral services aren't really business as usual (small gatherings!) and I'd be screwing my mom & best friend out of that type of closure. (I don't want any type of service, but if I had to go I'd want my mom to be able to have her friends come and cook for her safely and spend time with her during that. Best friend is out of state & is super close with my family but wouldn't be allowed to visit etc.) I feel less guilty about my best friend now that she's married & will have her partner but I'm still a solid chunk of her support system at this point.

I kinda regret getting him cause now I'm stuck here till he dies.

This is how I feel about my cat, he's only about 2yrs old and my last lived to 15. (I wasn't planning on getting another after that specifically because I didn't want to leave that responsibility behind later but....he was brought to me as a surprise and it's kind of hard to say no to baby animals like "Oh gee thanks, but I really don't want to stick around for this guys lifespan" aha.)

 

[MrAsclepius]

Living for others and not yourself is a long torture. For me is my cat.

 

[LossOfWill]

If I'll be honest, video games.. I think about the cool games coming out soon and I wanna at least see them before I die. Still really wanna play CTRNF someday