Venting wheres the fucking breaking point

[Life_and_Death]

no matter what i do i cant seem to hate myself enough to just do it. and the things that could possibly push it over the edge.....i wish what stops me would fuck off already.

i want him to hate me. i want to remind him of every horrible thing ive done.

i want to cheat on my husband.

i want to do whatever drug i can get my hands on. i want to sleep with whoever.

i need to hate myself more.

 

[A Desperate Fool]

i want to cheat on my husband.

That happened to me and I don't hate her at all. I only hate myself.

 

[WornOutLife]

I think sooner or later our patience reaches a point in which we'll do what we really want so I guess the only option is keep on waiting but always wonder: do you really want to do that?

I really hope you can feel better soon, dear.

As for hating yourself, well, I hate myself at a 50% and it's no fun. It actually sucks lol.

 

[W’ren]

I loathe myself with all my soul- it's not a good feeling. :( And i'm not completely sure it's my self hate that drives me to attempt ctb and to continue to plan in secret.
I think it has something to do with it- but it's only one factor-
If i were to cheat on my boyfriend, the guilt of it would probably push me over the edge though... so i hear you. He'd probably hate me. I couldn't bear it.
I think it's a moment when everything just tips the scales, you know?
(((Hugs))) i hear your pain.