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Discussion where are you at the ctb-o-meter?

_Minsk

_Minsk

death: the cure for life
Dec 9, 2019
1,170
yesterday was 5.5-6, today a solid 8, where are you at today?(0:life is beautiful -10: where is my <insert method item(s)> )
 
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GonnaGoBye

GonnaGoBye

Will die soon
Jun 30, 2020
109
10. Bought my SN, just cant move freely due to pandemic.
 
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MKWRFKLV

MKWRFKLV

Member
Dec 14, 2018
6
Today about a 6. Yesterday was 8, maybe even 9.

Fuck I just want this to end.
 
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E

esse_est_percipi

Enlightened
Jul 14, 2020
1,747
_Minsk said:
yesterday was 5.5-6, today a solid 8, where are you at today?(0:life is beautiful -10: where is my <insert method item(s)> )
Click to expand...
Psychologically, I'm at 10, practically I'm at 0.
It just seems like an enormous task to settle on a method, then get everything ready to actually go through with it.
I've been thinking SN, but have no idea how to get it as I'm in UK.
 
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E

EGR92

Student
Jul 4, 2020
186
10 everyday
 
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Deleted member 17949

Deleted member 17949

Visionary
May 9, 2020
2,238
If 0 is being happy with life and not thinking about dying and 10 is being just about to kill yourself I'm at a consistent 8
 
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Reactions: _Minsk and Deleted member 14386
EmbraceOfTheVoid

EmbraceOfTheVoid

Part Time NEET - Full Time Suicidal
Mar 29, 2020
689
Suicide is inevitable for me and always has been so I'd guess a 10? I'm mostly passively suicidal though and generally don't get strong urges to ctb immediately.
 
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harkovv

harkovv

Everybody's different. Everybody's special. TCS.
Jul 14, 2020
94
Solid 8. Yesterday was 10 so that's a lil progress.
 
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E

esse_est_percipi

Enlightened
Jul 14, 2020
1,747
EmbraceOfTheVoid said:
Suicide is inevitable for me and always has been so I'd guess a 10? I'm mostly passively suicidal though and generally don't get strong urges to ctb immediately.
Click to expand...
Hi, can I ask why you have a profile picture of Jamel Debbouze?
 
lostangel

lostangel

Enlightened
Mar 22, 2019
1,051
7
 
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Isadeth

Isadeth

Visionary
Jun 12, 2020
2,538
It honestly depends on the day and the events involved. I think today would be a 4. So it's one of my better days.
 
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Reactions: FriendofDeath and _Minsk
S

somniummalum

Student
Jul 3, 2020
119
10, minute SN arrives I go ctb
 
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DeathNoot

DeathNoot

Student
Feb 19, 2020
137
At the moment 6... but I go back and forth like I'm doing the pacer test
 
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LUCIFERYAN

LUCIFERYAN

Member
Jun 28, 2020
23
It's never less than 9, just waiting to get 10 when SN arrives
 
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Reactions: sadghost, _Minsk and somniummalum
A

Anxietykillsme

Member
Feb 27, 2020
70
For the last few months, a solid 8. Just waiting for a day where I'm completely at home by myself so I don't get saved.
 
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Reactions: _Minsk and Djfrend
Sinai Silence

Sinai Silence

I think I'ma die alone inside my room
Jul 6, 2020
810
Currently lulling between 8 and 9 since I have to wait for SN and mitigating circumstances to get to 10.
 
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Sinai Silence

Sinai Silence

I think I'ma die alone inside my room
Jul 6, 2020
810
worried_to_death said:
Do you mind me asking if you ordered SN in Europe?
Click to expand...
Hi there, I ordered mine from Russia from I. They have 5 stars on E I won't be able to vouch for it yet though. It won't be here for a while though but I'll be sure to make a post once it arrives.
 
E

esse_est_percipi

Enlightened
Jul 14, 2020
1,747
Sinai Silence said:
Hi there, I ordered mine from Russia from I. They have 5 stars on E I won't be able to vouch for it yet though. It won't be here for a while though but I'll be sure to make a post once it arrives.
Click to expand...
Thanks, though I have no idea what all the abbreviations mean (I, E etc.) Is it all on the DW?
 
Sinai Silence

Sinai Silence

I think I'ma die alone inside my room
Jul 6, 2020
810
worried_to_death said:
Thanks, though I have no idea what all the abbreviations mean (I, E etc.) Is it all on the DW?
Click to expand...
Once you get enough posts you can DM me about it, I'm sure its a lot more freely available but its not where I got mine from.
 
HappyMstake

HappyMstake

Not so happy as it turns out.
May 29, 2020
170
I'd say a 9(?) I already have everything ready I'm just waiting until next month.
 
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Reactions: _Minsk
Baguette

Baguette

Member
Jun 28, 2020
90
A consistent 8.5 most days, 9.5 today. Just totally ready to end it all tomorrow hopefully, I'm not though at 10 as I imagine that would mean being in the process of ending your life ASAP. I'm not that desperate that I'm running out of the house at midnight trying to ctb, I'm still in control enough to not want to arouse suspicion and put my plans in jeopardy.
 
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Reactions: _Minsk, TheWalrus and Brokenwithbpd
U

unwell lady

Member
Jun 8, 2020
32
9.99 just want right method and don't want to fail again and just end up in hospital
 
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TheSoulless

TheSoulless

Enlightened
Jan 7, 2020
1,059
worried_to_death said:
Psychologically, I'm at 10, practically I'm at 0.
It just seems like an enormous task to settle on a method, then get everything ready to actually go through with it.
Click to expand...
Good description. I feel the same.
 
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Reactions: DetachedDreamer97, _Minsk and esse_est_percipi
U

unwell lady

Member
Jun 8, 2020
32
Same here,that is a good description,I got desperate tonight and tried a stupid method which obviously didn't work but I felt that desperate to go,I've contacted dignatis but I haven't got the money :(
 
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Reactions: _Minsk
Rue89

Rue89

Visionary
Feb 10, 2020
2,726
10 - If all works out, I'll be gone tomorrow.
 
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