When you decide to stay, but your heart's not in it...

[kane]

Time and time again I try to think things through rationally, and come to the decision that I should carry on, at least for a few years. But after a brief period of clarity, I sink back into this kind of malaise. Emotionally, I just don't want to be here anymore. I'm scared of death. But I don't actually want to live this life. There's no meaning here for me. Just the ghosts where meaning used to be.

I feel like some kind of petulant child, I can't bring myself to really try. I don't care enough about anything. The only thing that really drives me is fear, and when that fades, nothing is left. Nothing seems worth living for.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I hear you.

 

[Peachycherry]

Oh gods, you've put exact words to it. I'm in the same situation, and I can't say I've found a solution or a way to cope other than ctb, honestly. The problem is actually achieving that successfully...

 

[Antigonish]

That's exactly how I feel about my job

 

[iftheworldwasending]

damn... this is exactly what i just posted about. this is EXACTLY how i feel right now. my heart's just not in it.