The idea of committing suicides comes and goes irregularly. I have taken steps to buy cyanide. I've found and contacted a supplier, asked about the details of the purchase, but haven't gone through with it yet.
Still, the whole idea seems a bit abstract to me. I've thought of the consequences of my death, researched about the seemingly painful, but short passing cyanide would bring me. But I don't feel anything about it. It's as if the whole thing is merely procedural, like a menial task to be accomplished.
This confusion even leads me to question how serious I really am about it. I still haven't bought that cyanide, after all. Is it common to go through something like this?
Edit: I would also like to add that I am new to this forum and have never discussed suicide with anyone. Forgive me if this post may seem somewhat odd or nonsensical.
Still, the whole idea seems a bit abstract to me. I've thought of the consequences of my death, researched about the seemingly painful, but short passing cyanide would bring me. But I don't feel anything about it. It's as if the whole thing is merely procedural, like a menial task to be accomplished.
This confusion even leads me to question how serious I really am about it. I still haven't bought that cyanide, after all. Is it common to go through something like this?
Edit: I would also like to add that I am new to this forum and have never discussed suicide with anyone. Forgive me if this post may seem somewhat odd or nonsensical.
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