When did you seriously considered to ctb for the first time?

[Busoccupant]

In my case when I was 16 years old. More than a decade with this in my head...

 

[BehindTheWall]

I was 15 years old. I tried to hang myself to a tree but failed.

 

[Mustkeyknow]

I thought about it vaguely when I was like 16, but last year it was when I tried for the first time. (32)

 

[NationalistKorean]

Considered cbt my entire life but the first attempt obviously failed. It was drowning I realized that day that I was a very good swimmer and that SI sucks. I think I was like 11.

 

[death137]

14 (though) and 18 or 19 (attempt)

 

[whywere]

for me that age would be around 8 years old. My dad LOVED using me as a punching bag, human body to toss around whenever he got mad, which was like once an hour. When I was 8, I already knew that I was NOT supposed to be on this rock of a planet. I dreamed of getting off this planet anyway I could. Never figured it out as far as i have a older brother and a younger sister and he never once laid a hand on them. Tha t is why now at the young age of 64, I LOVE everybody period. That goes for double for all the great friends on this website. P.S. Never went to my dads funeral and never would have.

 

[CarbonMonoxide]

I swallowed a ton of pills when I was in high school. I woke up in a hospital three days later. I was around 15 at the time. I haven't had a serious attempt since then.

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I was 11 or 12 when it first started.

 

[softfuzzyman]

had concrete thoughts since i was about 8 or 9, but vaguely so even before then too and just very depressed through my entire memory. 24 now and i feel a million years old. So exhausted and already intensely disillusioned on the whole "it gets better" thing, i believe that drastically less every year

 

[BitterlyAlive]

So exhausted and already intensely disillusioned on the whole "it gets better" thing, i believe that drastically less every year

That and "it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem!"

 

[Eren]

had concrete thoughts since i was about 8 or 9, but vaguely so even before then too and just very depressed through my entire memory. 24 now and i feel a million years old. So exhausted and already intensely disillusioned on the whole "it gets better" thing, i believe that drastically less every year

with 8/9 years old it is really early, it is very sad, sorry.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

As a preteen I was thinking about self-harm but never really considered ctb until I was 19, when I was rejected by my family because of my sexuality.

 

[Commandocoki]

Ahh I picked the wrong age I didn't see the thought vs attempt.
My first thought was at age 8 when I was in perfect health then out of nowhere one day I woke up and developed severe IBD.

 

[ceelo]

only when illness ruined my life.

 

[albino_elk]

15 i think. I swallowed over 100 pills with alcohol :D.. since then i'm suicidal (28 now)

 

[Caspers]

Tried to drown myself when I was 4. It's been downhill since then. I have high functioning depression and have been taught not to ask for help, so it was my late teens when I got help, and that was too late. I've had one that was between a cry for help and wanting to die, and a more recent serious which would have worked if I hadn't said goodbye to someone. I'm hoping for fourth time lucky.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

the idea first popped into my mind around the end of 5th grade, and then i started to seriously consider it a few months after that.

 

[Homecoming]

Around 11-12 yrs old, when my narcissistic BPD mom screaming, crying, and, hitting my dad's head, arms, and back repeatedly with a heavy metal rod

She's such a f*cking psycho b!tch even to this day

 

[Deleted member 20852]

I had thoughts about being dead around 8 but they weren't suicidal. I started getting thoughts at around 12 years so half my life I have been thinking about it. It's a such heavy burden to bare, I really have had enough.

 

[BPD Barbie]

When I was 14 and tried to overdose on paracetamol.

 

[Blue LIPS]

Sippin on my mom's Hycocet playing Left 4 Dead and said fuck it. My neighbor saved me, I just remember falling off the chair and crawling to my phone not able to breath really.

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

it's always been my plan B.

 

[Sweet Release]

When I realised I wasn't young anymore and it was probably too late for me in life.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Around 18-19 was when suicide creeped into my mind. Ever since then it tortures me every day.

 

[dec132013]

First started thinking about suicide when I was 12 (also attempted for the first time a while after that) My last actual attempt was when I was 15. I'm 19 now and still try planning, but since I actually have gotten somewhat better mentally I go through episodes where I'm scared to die making it a lot harder.

 

[Nymph]

I have considered it multiple times but only a few months ago I was closest to doing it when I received SN

 

[Deleted member 17949]

First attempt was at 16. I had gotten home from college. Counselling hadn't worked well for me so I had stopped it recently. I decided to head out to the woods and try partial, but I failed.

 

[NationalistKorean]

First attempt was at 16. I had gotten home from college. Counselling hadn't worked well for me so I had stopped it recently. I decided to head out to the woods and try partial, but I failed.

Basically the same as one of many attempts expect I was 14 at the time.

 

[Shades of Grey]

I first seriously considered it a few days before my eighth birthday. I was fairly sheltered, and didn't even know there was a name for "it".

I can also remember being four or five and sitting on top of the fridge holding a bottle of vitamins and wondering (having been cautioned that one "could get sick and die" if they took too much medication) if somebody could kill themselves with them. (I took a cherry one and put the bottle back.) In retrospect, I guess that's probably a strange line of questioning for a kid that age with no exposure to suicide.

I don't recall ever having had any appreciable fear of death or normal self-preservation instinct.

 

[ZardozOmega]

When I was 17