When did you know for sure the only solution is CTB for you?

[supermario]

For me, it was last month when my OCD blew up in my face and attached itself to breathing. Now it's every second literally of mental torment with no escaping, as you cannot stop breathing even for a few seconds. That's when I knew I've been checkmated.

 

[Pluto]

Sorry to hear you are going through this. :(

There must be a formula. For me, being in pain for more than 50% of my waking hours makes CTB feel completely reasonable and natural. And when it climbs even higher, active efforts are made without a need to second-guess myself. It would be so much easier if permanently relieving chronic pain were not criminalised in our so-called civilised society.

 

[Crimsonghost3]

My ex had bouts with that with her ocd im sorry youre dealing with that I can see how rough that is. For me it was probably years ago when I realized but I think this past year was when I finally accepted it. I tried mushrooms and it was the most depressed ive ever been in my life and all I could do was smile because I accepted it. Every day im getting more confirmation practicing hanging myself hasn't really been scary its been comforting and even tonight I tried to leave the apt for a few minutes just to go drive by myself and I had to immediately come home so I didn't drive it into a wall. Its bad but I know I won't make it past this year so it'll be all good

 

[Grumpy Bear]

For me, it was last month when my OCD blew up in my face and attached itself to breathing. Now it's every second literally of mental torment with no escaping, as you cannot stop breathing even for a few seconds. That's when I knew I've been checkmated.

I'm sorry. That sounds awful.

Sorry to hear you are going through this. :(

There must be a formula. For me, being in pain for more than 50% of my waking hours makes CTB feel completely reasonable and natural. And when it climbs even higher, active efforts are made without a need to second-guess myself. It would be so much easier if permanently relieving chronic pain were not criminalised in our so-called civilised society.

I can relate and I feel for you. Chronic pain is reason #412 for me to CTB.

There are too many reasons to list but mostly because of crap people and my immobility.

 

[FuneralCry]

I have known this for a long time. For me, suicide makes sense. Life is essentially just suffering, there is no limit as to how bad things can get and how much we can suffer. If I ctb I am escaping all of this. Death is freedom from this miserable life. I think overall, I have come to the realisation that I am not meant for this world, and nothing would ever make me want to live. I simply want nothing to do with life, I do not enjoy anything and there is nothing for me to look forward too. I cannot put up with this for decades, and the life expectancy is too long, so I must ctb.