Discussion When did you first start considering suicide?

[First loss]

As for me, it was when I was 13.

What about you?

 

[RottenOdysseus]

Hard to say since my memory is so shit. If I had to guess though it was around 10. I've always felt uncomfortable in my body and my existence though IDK when I started thinking I should end it myself.

 

[favourite]

Also 13, but it wasn't serious then (no 13yo, however, should think about doing themselves now). Then those thoughts ceased for a while, just to engulf half of my 20s. If I make it to - let's say -35, I guess it will only be worse.

 

[Boochky]

I tried to strangle myself in my sheets when I was 7. My dad told me that I wouldn't die, I just wouldn't be as smart. Kind of a weird reaction.

 

[21Neberg]

I remember cutting when I was fourteen, and crying alone on my 15th birthday while researching methods to kill myself. That's some years ago now though, and I remember I got help then which helped me get back on track. For some time, at least.

 

[gunsforhands]

Maybe with 15 I think. Not completely serious but I was very interested in the topic and got kind of addicted of knowing more about depression and suicide. I was lucky to not getting bullied in school so I was able to life with my insecurities, don't know how it were otherwise

 

[Cookiedough8956]

12-13 years old, I'm 22 now. Pathetic I know.

 

[Wolfjob_dayjob]

I think the same age as you, First Lost and Cookiedough, 12-13. Felt so old, like id lived forever. I was my closest being starved by my aunt where my parent had sent me away at 14-15. How unlucky to recover.

 

[wishfulthinking]

When I was 9. First Suicide Attempt when i was 12.

 

[favourite]

It's so fucking saddening that so many of us started imagining suicide at such young age when we were supposed to play and enjoy life.

 

[Inevitable]

Age 7 or 8

 

[Memento Mori]

about 11yrs. school was so annoying that I planned to ctb in every school vacation but never had the guts to do it. wanted to stab myself lol

 

[AnnihilatedAnna]

I think i started to become suicidal at 10 but like really serious at 12. Almost did it at 13 though, but a friend of mine reported that she was worried about me to the school counselor about a week before I wanted to go. She got them involved and they haven't let go

 

[Taylor]

At around 21 years old, when I badly injured my shoulder and went through a major surgery, and even more-so when my strange social fears developed after that. Now every joint of mine is in serious pain, like the weight of the world is crushing me, and it honestly just feels like I've been here too long now and it's my time to go.

 

[TheCrow]

I was my closest being starved by my aunt where my parent had sent me away at 14-15.

Omg, I am so sorry. xo

 

[TAW122]

I would say at age 12, and at the time it was more or less a passing thought, more of a "if I died, it would be a relief" since I did have a shitty childhood and was dealing with bullies at the time. Of course, Aspergers and failed social life along with social anxiety isn't helpful either. Over the years, there are times where I had on and off thoughts of suicide as well as fantasizing about death in various ways, including shooting myself.

To me, the ideation is like an escape from all the stress, torment, anguish and hell that I experienced in this existence called 'life.'

 

[Tomoe]

Around 21, I'm 24 now. I don't think life has pushed me enough to be committed to it but it's definitely an option for me since life has kinda been downhill for the last three years. And I feel it's starting to become a chronic mentality. But we'll see :P

 

[idecidewhen]

Probably around 14. Over 4 decades ago.

 

[Chlo]

There's another thread that talks about the option of suicide being almost comforting. Those thoughts started when I was around 15, they started getting a lot stronger around 21, 22. I'm almost 25 now.

 

[GeorgeEastman]

19

Got rejected by the only girl I ever asked. Knew I'd never ask anyone else ever again and never have. Now 36, my only real wish is that I'd have killed myself when I first wanted to back then.

I knew life would suck forever and it has. I'm a loser, but I've got some nice consolation prizes. None worth really living for, but others would enjoy them.

 

[ForestLove]

I was standing by the windows looking out far at my home.

I was bad in Mathematics and I had a very brief suicidal thought by then.

I was 12.

 

[ShadowOfTheDay]

I was 13. I ate some graphite from a pencil. Didn't realize modern day pencils don't contain lead. I wanted to go by lead poisoning. But I guess I learned how to "suck it up" for several years. Didn't try again til the age of 33. I'm still thinking of ways to die, but I will say that durring those "in-between" years, I really had moved on, and wasn't suicidal at all.

 

[jackass]

Suicide ideation at 5-6 when put in foster care.
First attempt at 12 after being sexually abused by a priest for years. I jumped off a third floor balcony and broke my legs. What a dumbass.

 

[First loss]

Suicide ideation at 5-6 when put in foster care.
First attempt at 12 after being sexually abused by a priest for years. I jumped off a third floor balcony and broke my legs. What a dumbass.

God dammit fucking priest.

If I was you before ctbing i'd find that priest and make him meet his creator.

 

[jackass]

God dammit fucking priest.

If I was you before ctbing i'd find that priest and make him meet his creator.

I wish I had the strength to confront him. I am saving all my energy to ctb.

 

[First loss]

I wish I had the strength to confront him. I am saving all my energy to ctb.

You have his contacts.

Bro pm me ill scare him out of his rotten, disgusting bones.

 

[deathplease]

I started feeling suicidal when I was 14-15. I made 2 attempts in high school when I was older. I can't really think of a time when I wasn't suicidal. Having my son diminished it for a while though. My suicidal thoughts have been constant & extremely severe since he passed away. I'm so ready to die & be with my baby.

 

[tiggles2000]

I was 19 and drug fucked so I tried to OD on Panadol. That didn't work. I'm now 26 and have actually researched ways to go

 

[Raggas]

About 14 years old is when the depression started to really kick in.

 

[Random]

After my cousin killed himself. I think I was around thirty.