It's based on my own judgment, I bring misery to everyone I'm around because I can't control my own emotions. It's best for everyone if I die in the most painful way possible so they can finally be free and happy. They can move on with their lives without worrying about if they're gonna wake up to me dead or not
Well I am also controlled by my emotions, and hurt people due to it as well. Maybe we deserve some punishment, but to ignite ourselves over it?
I have punished myself more than enough, even when nothing happened, so I get that feeling. But it was this world that ruined us, not us by our own accord. How couldn't you when all you see daily is hatred, politics and lust?
Now I still say I will probably go to hell if it exists, and you're most likely thinking the same, but in the end, it's not our decision...
Just try to do some good and follow your heart. The rest is not up to us.