HoolioCoolio
Stay in a strong place in your mind
- Mar 4, 2020
- 49
I have this deep pain in my chest always urging me to die. It's only been 6 years but I've done so many treatments and talked to so many people I've tried a lot of Methods but it feels like my body really wants to die I wish I could just press a button and instantly die. I have no acces to clean and painless ways to go out. I don't want to feel pain as my last feeling even though that really isnt possible without a shotgun. My chronic pain was the nail in the coffin it's deteriorated my for the past few years and nothing seems to help. My friends are shit and manipulative. I feel in love with a Xanax addict who's already in a relationship...... I want to go out now and take my herbal poison. I don't want relief I just don't want to live the burden of life. I never asked to be born in fact that would've been the easiest thing. I'm tired of disassociating and and going numb to hide the pain. I can't hold it in anymore it's figuratively pulling me apart at the seams. I feel so weak and so useless. I'm losing everything. I just don't want to hurt other and give my pain away and be selfish I really don't want to feel so guilty
