What's bothering you right now?

[fdnglnslanlnvlonfbo]

this life

 

[Life sucks]

Being trapped in this life is really atrocious specially how this body is deteriorating and not letting me do anything.

 

[Foresight]

Being lazy af

 

[breakingthegirl]

It's bothering me a lot that there's no one in my corner. That the person who is supposed to "love me" can make up just about any garbage they want to and I will be assumed to be the problem. It hurts. It hurts a lot and I wish that there was someone safe - anyone that I could talk to without it becoming a problem. It bothers me that no one is going to care once I top myself and I'll just be talked about like I brought this all on myself. I just wish I'd never existed in the first place.

Yes. I never feel heard. Anytime I try to talk about why I'm feeling a certain way, or why I disagree with something, I'm told my feelings are wrong and I'm the one making everything into a problem. It doesn't matter what I do, I'm always doing it wrong, to the point I don't even bother doing anything anymore. Last night I asked my person to start the dishwasher when he was done eating please since I was going to bed. He responded with screaming at me that I do the dishes wrong, following me upstairs, screaming at me for another hour about me not doing anything, and then followed it up with yelling at me for crying and starting a fight and being in a bad mood. It's like, why even bother. I quit, you're right I'm the problem, I'll just eliminate this problem for you.

 

[anxious_depressive]

Nightmares every night.

 

[Crazy4u]

the efforts needed to prepare for ctb

 

[WonderingSoul]

The 2 two things that have always bothered me since birth. My abusive parents and the fact that I can't make any friends.

 

[Arrow]

My life is going to get significantly worse in the near future and I am also feeling too shitty to get anything important done.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Right now everything's bothering me. I don't feel good at all. I've broke down crying for no reason each of the last few days. I can't motivate myself to get work done today. But most of all, my internal monologue is constant and horrible and I can't make it stop. I can't live like this.

 

[Badluckhardtimes]

Getting so close to the finish line only to discover there was no finish line, it was all a setup. Looking back on my life and realizing how much I was lied to and how much I lied to myself. The feeling after surviving this charade for so long that I have become nothing more than useless, undesirable, and obsolete.

Watching treacherous foes from my past move ahead in life, find love, happiness, and success...and me, rotting away in the bottom of a cave, betrayed, scorned and exiled, wondering how the hell am I going to get out of this one

 

[Life sucks]

I want to teleport

 

[Silenos]

I've done everything right today and I still feel like absolute crap.

 

[FuneralCry]

I posted in this thread a while ago, and I am still bothered by living. Most things bother me in some way, I find life to be very tiring. Today I feel quite ill and tired, worse than usual. The thing that I would like the most is to fall into an eternal dreamless sleep. Life is just pointless suffering day after day. It feels pointless even writing about it.

 

[demuic]

Being alive. Being around people. Never being understood. Never having anyone who sees things the way I do.

 

[Kristicide]

That I'm broke and I would love to get pain pills to make me feel good for once.

 

[GoldLeafIndigo]

I need more muscle mass and less fat.

Same.

 

[GoldLeafIndigo]

Physical pain and shame.

I know intellectually that when people treat me badly, it isn't about me. Yet I internalize it as shame. I'm really trying to overcome this. If I could do so, my depression would lift.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

My family is running out of money for food.

 

[Laddydragon]

Always being inadequate

 

[GoldLeafIndigo]

Always being inadequate

I relate to this. I'm trying to remember that this is a thought we have about ourselves that makes us feel bad, it isn't objective reality.

 

[Laddydragon]

I relate to this. I'm trying to remember that this is a thought we have about ourselves that makes us feel bad, it isn't objective reality.

I'm sorry you relate, I mean hope that isn't wrong to say but Idk anyhow I'm glad you're trying to remember the objective reality that's always a good skill to work on I feel. I mean it's a pain for me personally I mean idk if that makes sense (I'm anxious atm so sorry if my typing is all over the place)

 

[Unicornsrnot4dislife]

Mental anguish.

 

[charlottewilts]

My dealer fucked me over, and then has the gall to get mad at ME? after everything I've done for him??? fucking mommying him and buying him crap even when I'm broke myself and he still owes me thousands??? he absolutely fucking deserves all the emotional anguish he's been going through that he's been venting to me about and I've been listening patiently and offering advice and comfort like a fool. i sincerely hope it only keeps getting worse. fucking son of a bitch

 

[GrumpyFrog]

There's no alcohol in the house and the last shop closes in 10 minutes. And it's too far away for me to make it there in 10 mins. And god I do not want to be sober today. Today sucks.

 

[xrosex]

My loneliness, I really needed to talk to someone and been crying and needed to post this and for some reason just typing this is helping.

 

[Mixo]

The fact that everything revolves around money.

 

[Sherri]

My addiction

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

So much of the advice about how to do things like gain more motivation/willpower or to combat burnout seems to just boil down to eat healthy/exercise/get better sleep. I hate this advice so much because if I was even capable of giving a single damn about any of these things then of course I would already be feeling fine. This advice basically boils down to "you need willpower to gain willpower" which is such stupid advice IMO.

It's like saying that to fight cancer all you need to do is reduce the cancer cells in your body. Well then genius, just how exactly do I do THAT???

Some random advice I saw on YouTube for gaining willpower was to start with getting better sleep. Ok, how do I get better sleep? "No using your phone before bed." As if it's so easy! How is it not obvious that if I already had the willpower to do something as simple as that I wouldn't need your help?! "It's like lifting five pounds so that gradually you'll be able to lift 100." Well how is that supposed to help when I metaphorically don't even have arms to lift the five pounds?!? I'm asking for a figurative prosthetic limb here and I don't need to lift the 100 pounds because I already physically can't even lift the five! This advice is just horrible, at least for me.

As for dieting and exercise, how the hell is that going to help me want to live more? The thought of forgoing any of my favorite foods or making myself uncomfortable through physical activity is just making it so I'd rather choose death because forcing myself to eat disgusting health food or straining my muscles just isn't living to me. I'd maybe be willing to endure those things if I had a romantic partner but I don't and I'm not entitled to one so I'll probably never have one anyway.

I know I'm probably sounding like a big baby about all this and that's because I'm well aware that I literally am one. Knowing that though doesn't help and it doesn't bring me any closer to changing that. I just wish there was actual advice out there that suits my traits and if there truly is no such advice for me then I'm glad because it means I have all the more reason to give up and die this year. I just wish people in general would stop trying to give me false hope by saying these things or some torturous job where I slave myself away for petty change is going to have any positive effect on me.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

Today, I'm frustrated with my husband.

I was away for nine days a short time ago. When I came back, he hadn't put away the Christmas decorations, hadn't properly shoveled the driveway, and lots of other neglectful things so the house didn't look good. I had the next day off of work and although I needed the day for rest (since the previous nine days were taxing), I had to spend it cleaning, organizing, and making the house livable. He expressed no thanks.

He's been away for two days in Florida, on a short vacation provided by his company. In preparation for his return, I cleaned up a lot and picked up dinner, so he wouldn't have to worry about anything upon arriving home. When I picked him up, he didn't say "hi" or give me a hug or a kiss. All he said to me was, "Why does the car smell?" (It's because dinner was in the back seat.) it's been four hours since I picked him up. Still no hug or expression of appreciation for me trying to be thoughtful.

I know it probably seems like a small thing, but when there's a history, the small things can really bother you.

 

[thinkkank]

might start a job this week. i know i will make money, but there is the bullshit that comes with it like angry bosses, lifting heavy things, working with unpleasant people. i hate having no money, but i have to go through so much bullshit to get money. it's like picking between being burned alive or being eaten alive, i can't espace pain.