Manaaja
euROPE
- Sep 10, 2018
- 1,647
I've been feeling really odd and brain hasn't been functioning well. I wonder if I should take a small break from this site and focus on exercising more and spending less time on computer.
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Ok dumbest vent ever but I feel like I have literal brain damage, I can't form a coherent thought and I've been getting nothing but Fs in my exams for the last months. And now I'm skipping class because I can't face my classmates anymore after I've let them down in group projects smh.
And before anyone calls me underage, I've been an adult for some time and yet I still act like this lol.
DunnoWhyButYeah
~*-*~
- Apr 3, 2020
- 407
I've been choking 4 times this week ... in my own saliva(?). It seems like my illness is progressing and I can't do anything about it. One choking was while I was sleeping, I woke up to it. It was pretty horrible feeling. I have trouble breathing anyway while sleeping, so at least that doesn't make it easier ... I don't want to die by suffocation.
Manaaja
euROPE
- Sep 10, 2018
- 1,647
I developed a peanut allergy out of nowhere a year ago. I'd randomly start choking and almost dying on daily basis and had no idea it could be peanut allergy because I was an adult who had never had any food allergies and always been fine with peanuts.
I'd really advice paying attention if it isn't some food allergy that came from nowhere.
The suffocating feeling is really horrible, I hope you can find a cure for it. I'd also check whether there's any mold or dust nearby.I'm craving for a human contact...an real hug
Manaaja
euROPE
- Sep 10, 2018
- 1,647
A real hug would be nice. I used to hug my dog and that was enough, but now I have no one to hug.
I know it isn't much, but self-hugging can help a bit and self-massaging. Also, massage chairs and heating blankets can help. But of course nothing beats a real hug.
I hope you can experience a real hug soon.
Thank you very much for your message, it saved me now that I was feeling very shitty<3 it's true nothing beats a real hug but sometimes a kind message can help: ') I don't have a massage chair, but I'm under the warm blankets and i'm hugging myself, if i had a dog i would surely hug him all day lol it would help me a lot also cause i love dogs,i'm sorry you don't have no one to hug too...i hope we will have soon someone to hug
Manaaja
euROPE
- Sep 10, 2018
- 1,647
I'm glad it helped.
I wish we both could get a dog. I have been looking to get a new dog, but I don't know. But dogs can help so much with loneliness.
Thanks, I really hope so.
Btw, can I pm you a photo of my dog?Going to be going thru a brief period of homelessness starting on Thursday. This is not the first time I have experienced being out on the street, and i am not looking forward to another period of uncertainty. Unfortunately due to circumstances, its really unavoidable.
lili
Specialist
- Feb 17, 2022
- 319
GrumpyFrog
Exhausted
- Aug 23, 2020
- 1,913
I'm so tired of people being hateful for no real reason and it being perceived as normal. Especially the ones that absolutely refuse to acknowledge that other people also can feel pain and accept that they actually have it a lot better than many other people. It seems that for some the top level of Maslow's pyramid of needs is "complaining and spreading hate because now you're bored".Being penalised at work because I've been withdrawn due to severe depression, anxiety and burnout. All despite how hard I have worked. I feel worthless.
itllbeover
I don’t belong here.
- Mar 28, 2022
- 7
The daily anxiety, memories of past love, depression, hopelessness, suicide ideation.Last edited:
itllbeover
I don’t belong here.
- Mar 28, 2022
- 7
so sorry ur going through that, people can be so horrible and misunderstanding. please take time to rest and don't be hard on urself
symphony
surving hour-by-hour
- Mar 12, 2022
- 779
I've been cutting almost every day and as shitty as it may be, self-harm helps me so much. So on some level I'd like to cut today too, but I feel so sad and low and tired and all-around hypoaroused that I'm not sure I could...Money. To much depending on the line; my only life source its very close to being stolen from me.
Ahem ($500,000) is not something attainable in ~4 9/5's w/ overtime.
Cathy Ames
Cautionary Tale
- Mar 11, 2022
- 2,111
Feeling like I "belong" on this forum, where people understand about being suicidal, where I can talk about such things (maybe) without being judged. BUT being on this forum means watching and experiencing the deaths of a lot of people whom I like and with whom I empathize.
NorseHel
Tinnitus Enjoyer
- Mar 28, 2022
- 60
W’ren
Worthless
- Oct 28, 2020
- 557
My beloved dog, my only reason for living, passed away in my arms a week ago today. I'm waiting for his ashes to return to me-
I am so lost. This house is so empty.
Life_and_Death
Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
- Jul 1, 2020
- 7,030
Everything. As of right now, it's looking like I'm stuck in my abusive household because my idiotic mother moved me away from family and if I move out/back temporarily I'm going to lose my residency, my medicare. Getting out of this relationship is going to leave me with nothingGetting real tired of these anxiety inducing hellscapes I dream about. It used to be something that would happen occasionally, but now has become the bulk of dreams I have. I'm calling them hellscapes because I cannot think of any other way to describe them. Even nightmares by their standard definition, are more desirable at this point.
GrumpyFrog
Exhausted
- Aug 23, 2020
- 1,913
There was 4 huge ass rocket strikes on my city between 5 and 6 AM tonight. One in my neighbourhood, didn't hit a residential building but. It is fucking insane.
I need to buy cat food but I don't want to leave my apartment. Not because I am scared of being blown up. Because I am about to see terrified people everywhere again. The dead, the wounded, the ones that lost their homes is one terrifying statistic, but there is another thing with a scale that I am still struggling to grasp: everyone I see when I walk the street, everyone I ever met IRL and probably everyone I ever will meet is broken and traumatized forever. Hard to process stuff of this scale.
stellabelle
ethereal
- Dec 14, 2018
- 3,918
Everything.
Spiraling flashbacks
Never ending procrastination, self hatred, sabotage, blankly passing days on and on.
Crazy4u
Enlightened
- Sep 29, 2021
- 1,318
symphony
surving hour-by-hour
- Mar 12, 2022
- 779
.............
Experienced
- Mar 5, 2022
- 225
Emotional pain and worries, PTSD, the shitty person I am.
But also the fact I got super glue on my phone.
Manaaja
euROPE
- Sep 10, 2018
- 1,647
I'm really, really, really tired. I sleep well, wake up, and feel completely exhausted. I often also feel like puking. I haven't measured my temperature but I think it's a bit in the sick range. Not high, but not low. I'm yawning a lot. I thought I'd take a walk today outside, but nah, I have no energy for anything.
I saw a dream in which all humans turned into robots. I was really happy, because robots cannot be sexist, racist, homophobic, etc. etc. They are calm, logical beings, who are not swayed by emotions or prejudices or biases. But then I saw that all the dogs have turned into robots too and I was horrified. Dogs should remain dogs.
I fucking hate mobile game betas. In PC and console games betas it's either "Sign up now and you have a 20% chance of getting in when we have the beta a few months later" or "The beta is online this weekend. Everyone is free to come and play from Friday to Sunday!". But in mobile games it's "Pre-register today!". Then nothing for 12 months and you forget about that game, until you happen to read on a game newssite that some game company whose name doesn't seem familiar is gonna have a beta for one of their mobile games and is asking people to pre-register for a chance to access the beta. After you see the screenshots of the game you slowly remember "Ooh, I think that was the game I really wanted to play! I thought they either cancelled it or released it already! Good thing I signed up for the beta 12 months ago! That means I'm surely gonna get into the beta especially since they are still seeking participants 12 months later!". Then 6 months later the beta opens, but at first it's only for iPhones, then 6 months later it comes to android but only for the brand new ZTE mobile phones that were released yesterday, Then 2 years later when they finally open the game for all phones, you still can't play it. The youtube is full of videos of people spoiling the beta, datamining the game and hyping it. All people on the reddit seem to be playing it right now. People on this forum forget to ctb because of that shiny new mobile game. And yet you still can't play it, until your hamster's snake's oil's typhoon's tsunami's coastline's alligator's crocodile's corolla's toyota's password's scottish comedian's cat's mouse toy happens to whisper "it's only open in Japan, China, Australia, and North America". You go and pull the North American continent nearer so that Europe becomes part of America. And wait for 5 months for people to learn that Europe is now part of the AMERICAS!!! Only for the fatherfuckers to decide that sure it can be open in Europe: in every other country except for your own.
Then you cancel your registration and decide to never play it again. After six months, you learn that the day after you cancelled the game it finally went gold and anyone in any country on any phone could have played it, and it won 59865903690 the best mobile game ever awards, and is the highest rated video game ever not even half life 3 could beat it and every second playing the game feels like an orgasm.,
So you go and download that game and try it and discover that it's the worst and shittiest thing ever. And you learn that they sold the rights to the game to some other company who decided to make that gave a cryptomining nft selling virus, and they made 90% of the game unplayable without buying a season pass, and that you can no longer get the early player gifts like 549iu+54u9+2 free characters and weapons and armors and unlimited stamina forever.
