Discussion What will you do if you end up never committing suicide?

[UninformedLover]

I've been getting ready to kill myself and I'm wondering what will I even do if I fail and for some reason just can not do it.

I kinda ruined my life because I built it around the notion that I would ctb soon. Kept moving thr goal post but there's no more space to move so I have no choice but I'm scared that I'll fail and idk what I'll do if that happens.

 

[hurts2b]

I wonder this often myself. I already feel and act pretty dead in my life. So perhaps it wouldn't actually make a difference.

 

[wakeawake]

I feel that I have to overshoot in this respect, this is the one area where 'failure is NOT an option' as I truly do not want to carry on with the damage that would leave. So basically intense research and planning really feels profoundly important here.

 

[charlieee]

I've been getting ready to kill myself and I'm wondering what will I even do if I fail and for some reason just can not do it.

I kinda ruined my life because I built it around the notion that I would ctb soon. Kept moving thr goal post but there's no more space to move so I have no choice but I'm scared that I'll fail and idk what I'll do if that happens.

I don't know because I know it will happen sooner or later.
If I don't die this summer, my family and friends will discover that I once again failed my finals.
The weight of shame will crush me, and since my parents are just waiting for an opportunity to bring me down, I don't think I will survive longer anyway.

 

[Fadenself00_]

Probably suffer and end up homeless and then dying due to severe dysfunction caused by brain damage resulting in not being able to keep myself physically alive

 

[Tomorrow Is Today]

Ever since I developed suicidal tendencies it's ironically become a crutch to avoid life, planning and responsibilities. I just let things go from otherwise okay to bad to worse because I can take comfort in the fact that I'm going to kill myself. If I don't commit suicide I'll just be resigning myself to a shitstorm of my own making. Really a self-fulfilling prophecy in the end huh

 

[telekon]

- work
- jerk
- play
- drink
- smoke
- write

 

[Spite]

I'll just exist. I'll continue to suffer but I'll just drift through life, biding my time, and doing things to help me stay sane like watch movies and listen to music. I'm sure I will grow more numb and emotionless, and become more of an empty husk as the years go by. More than anything I will just be counting down the days waiting for it all to finally end.

 

[SASU-KE]

I'll end up dying of natural causes.


Seriously though, old age isn't for me. I'll be done before my health starts to fail,somehow.

 

[somethingisntreal]

Get a job and work till i eventually die during ww3

 

[Hollowman]

Starve to death on the street.

 

[Kokonoe]

that's a terrifying thought. i don't even want to think about being forced to continue to live. it's just endless suffering if that happens.

 

[judestfrancis]

run away? the same thing ive always done, leave everyone behind because im scared of people knowing me. im afraid of getting close to people because I know who I am. I'm a horrible person who doesn't deserve the good things I've been given. I'd be a nun but I'm neither catholic nor religious.

 

[nelaB]

Ever since I developed suicidal tendencies it's ironically become a crutch to avoid life, planning and responsibilities. I just let things go from otherwise okay to bad to worse because I can take comfort in the fact that I'm going to kill myself. If I don't commit suicide I'll just be resigning myself to a shitstorm of my own making. Really a self-fulfilling prophecy in the end huh

this is incredibly relatable. leaving ourselves no other options. you put it so well.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Suffer and struggle on till I likely die of something horrible.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Probably die of cancer or waste away in a nursing home when I'm old as shit. Neither option sounds good honestly, so suicide it is for me.

 

[Isolatedloner]

I don't fucking know. Maybe be happy but idk.

 

[Salkak]

I have kind of destroyed my life because of my suicidal tendencies. I have taken bad decisions. The idea of being forced to live is scary. CTB is the best option for me. I can't do life

 

[foreverfalling]

Probably alone in a nursing home being bullied and having what's left of my money taken from me by people that don't care about me.

 

[Sammyweevil]

Not kill myself, that's all I know

 

[gardenhouse]

I will, it's just a matter of time

 

[TwistedNightmares]

I'd probably continue sleeping my life away until I hopefully die early from natural causes.

 

[FuneralCry]

All that one can do is suffer as to exist truly does mean to suffer and no matter what I'd just never wish for the suffering of this terrible, torturous existence that I just always saw as a mistake, all that existence ever does is just torture existing beings and simply just existing is enough to make me wish for true permanent peace, the fact that humans make dying painlessly inaccessible is just so evil to me, there's so much evil in anti-suicide.

All that these people want is for others to be tortured for as long as possible, it's just so terrible how this existence was imposed in the first place, to suffer in this existence truly is an abomination and I find it so horrible how a human can suffer for decades longer just to face the terrible extreme agony of old age with no limit as to how much one can be tortured, for me only non-existence is positive.

 

[perishsong]

Probably parasite on my partner till she grows tired of supporting my dead weight, get a systemic infection from severe health neglect and hopefully die on the street before anyone decides to call the cops on yet another bum.

 

[NiicheKey]

I have many concepts, but even "the best case scenario", where I could live as a successful artist or just someone with stable art job and friends, seems too painful to bear and it's too abstract to actually believe in.

I will either kms young (hope this year), live a ruined life in self-isolation and addiction (this is slowly happening) or homeless and unloved after parents die. I say "I'm too smart" for the last one, but I know many cases, where people with great intelligence and after universities were doomed, because of the world's crisis with job and shit. Perhaps we will all die in WW3

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

I'm 57f so already somewhat old. Because of a genetic condition I have, I am at a very high risk of a heart attack or stroke. I just hope its quick or ideally in my sleep. That would be a blessing because dementia runs deep in my family too and there is no way in hell I am going down that road. So I would have no choice at that point but to ctb.

 

[SASU-KE]

I'm 57f so already somewhat old. Because of a genetic condition I have, I am at a very high risk of a heart attack or stroke. I just hope its quick or ideally in my sleep. That would be a blessing because dementia runs deep in my family too and there is no way in hell I am going down that road. So I would have no choice at that point but to ctb.

It's scary to have health issues like that creep up. I'm of the same mind. At any point, if my health starts to falter, I'm done.

 

[dust-in-the-wind]

It's scary to have health issues like that creep up. I'm of the same mind. At any point, if my health starts to falter, I'm done.

Yes I am very scared. My anxiety is bad and I suffer from severe depression, which also affects your heart. I think I will drop dead any minute every day. It's a horrible way to live which is why I prefer to ctb now and get it over with but the paradox stopping me is my fear of dying. It's such a mind fuck I can't take it.

 

[auld_fool]

I've been getting ready to kill myself and I'm wondering what will I even do if I fail and for some reason just can not do it.

I kinda ruined my life because I built it around the notion that I would ctb soon. Kept moving thr goal post but there's no more space to move so I have no choice but I'm scared that I'll fail and idk what I'll do if that happens.

May I ask the method you're planning?

 

[Gomomon]

I've been getting ready to kill myself and I'm wondering what will I even do if I fail and for some reason just can not do it.

I kinda ruined my life because I built it around the notion that I would ctb soon. Kept moving thr goal post but there's no more space to move so I have no choice but I'm scared that I'll fail and idk what I'll do if that happens.

Well, if it helps, I have attempted probably 5-7 times, one getting me extremely close, and I've pondered over that same thought. I really didn't think I would be alive past 17, and it's hard for me to even think about a future when I feel the way that I do on a daily basis and only seek to die. I suppose life just goes on, and maybe gets a little easier, or you just stay in the same rut until something shakes up your life, whether that be good or bad. They always say things get better, but how can they know for sure if they don't know your situation? You can't guarantee that stuff.