Discussion What was the first method you wanted to do when you started having suicidal thoughts

[ctb_warrior]

Strangulation and i was so disappointed when it didn't work i closed my room in rage and attempted that with all my might. When it didn't work, i sat down and wondered what to do about it. Just looked at the wall.

 

[infinitesimal]

during childhood, i had a strong hatred towards the people around me. all of the adults most involved in my life were abusive. the first thought of ctb i remember was a murder-suicide after being bullied and publicly humiliated by my teacher. where i'd stab everyone in the classroom with a knife and kill myself after. i was like 6-8

this hatred persisted for a while, but became less overtly violent. ive wanted to jump where every one who has ever wronged me can see, so that they can feel what i feel and be psychologically damaged forever. this one, ive actually attempted later in high school but got caught and dragged back into class. i ended up doing it several times and even went missing with intent to jump from a bridge

my first actual attempt was strangulation with a blanket

 

[M4D_H0USE31]

I must've been 11, I wanted to hang myself. Thinking about it now i dont think my old roofs could handle the weight of a FSH lol. For a while I also thought of slitting my throat or stabbing myself, just something to do with a knife really.

 

[Busridin'26]

Hmm Ig I just want the ground to swallow me up or anything accidental like hoping a car would run me over when younger. Like 3 yrs old and up.


But then hanging tho I didn't kno much about it then for a long long time jumping off a bridge was my method. I thpught of jumping un front of the subway quite a bit too.

 

[violet.4321]

First thing I could think of as a 7 year old kid was slicing the wrists. Glad I didn't do that hahah. Now I'm more about hanging or sn.

 

[Die.A.Ria]

during childhood, i had a strong hatred towards the people around me. all of the adults most involved in my life were abusive. the first thought of ctb i remember was a murder-suicide after being bullied and publicly humiliated by my teacher. where i'd stab everyone in the classroom with a knife and kill myself after. i was like 6-8

this hatred persisted for a while, but became less overtly violent. ive wanted to jump where every one who has ever wronged me can see, so that they can feel what i feel and be psychologically damaged forever. this one, ive actually attempted later in high school but got caught and dragged back into class. i ended up doing it several times and even went missing with intent to jump from a bridge

my first actual attempt was strangulation with a blanket

omg those thoughts were similar to mine and what did they say when you got caught thats so sad

 

[Vera1997]

When I like 14 or so, I'd go up the rooftop and think about jumping. Thankfully I never did it because our home only had 3 floors & I would have most likely survived

 

[spiders.in.my.head]

I think the first method I had in mind when I first had active ideation at like 13/14 y. o. was rat poison. I figured I could mix it with a food or drink and pass pretty peacefully. Probs wouldn't have worked tho, EU regulations on chemicals are pretty rough and I would have just guessed the amount.

 

[To_bareTo_tear]

Not sure when I became suicidal I feel like I've always wanted to even as a 6 year old. I started "seriously" (my methods were shit lol, all attemps at od and I vauge fails at cutting myself) attempting at 12 though. I wanted to drown because I wanted my resting place to be far far away from the rest of my family. But alas I didn't even live near a beach or a lake at that time so it was just something I knew I'd prefer. Still is but I probably won't be able to pull it off

 

[ih34rty0u]

when i was 9 i wanted to jump off a hotel balcony, but it was more of a fantasy than an actual plan. i wasn't alone and it probably wasn't high enough to kill me.

 

[UglyLife82]

I've always wanted to use a gun on myself, going back to 11 years old. I don't think I would choose another method

 

[Archness]

I've thought about simply blasting my brain with a shotgun. Although I haven't even prepared for that, I've become much more open-minded to possible methods. Jumping, Hanging, OD, and CO. I'm a bit different from others who seem to "focus" on a particular method when they're closer to ctb.

I don't mind violent, less peaceful methods, because that barrier will only certify my will to die once the time comes.

 

[ardea]

it probably sounds silly, but for a few years I planned to build a full scale guillotine and use it on myself. it hasn't been done very many times, but there's precedent, and there are tutorial videos on youtube. I've always had a huge fascination with blades in general. now I'd use sn as a guillotine would be a lot of effort to build and very messy and gruesome for whoever finds me and I wouldn't want to risk messing up and just maiming myself.

 

[Not_a_fan_of_life]

I always wanted to shoot myself, but it's very very difficult getting guns where i live.

My first attempt was Drinking Alcohol untill i pass out and hopefully never wake up. Took antiemetics to keep in more.

My second attempt was Train, but there only was Passenger trains, and that's a no-go for me, i want to involve as little people as possible. After 3 Trains they probably recognised what i was doing and shut down operations on this line, police came, and i tried to climb the mast holding the catenary to electrocute myself, but they grabbed me in time, before i could reach it.

Both attempts were in done affect, but my next one will be a prepared, final one. Trying to get SN (also not easy to get here) and probably taking blood thinners and cutting my wrists just for "good measure" (because i wanna see me bleeding out)
Maybe even adding some drugs to also OD like Fentanyl if i would get ahold of that.

 

[Macedonian1987]

In 2003 when i became suicidal for the first time at the age of 16 i wanted to cut my wrists. Now as of 2026 i settled for SN.

 

[Preh1storic_Rib]

I was little and wanted to go eat those flowers in the forest my dad was paranoid about me touching when we foraged.