In the last two years my desire to CTB had decreased, but lately I almost can't stop thinking about it again. The thing is, I recently became a mother and I literally can not go ahead with it because obviously she's going to need me for a decent amount of time. Maybe in, I don't know, 15 years or so I'll be able to finally do something if I'm not recovered - I'm really trying my best to get better -, but for now I would like to know what do you do to make the wait a little more bearable - like some kind of hobby or whatever that's gonna keep my mind out of my thoughts -, since I'm going to be here for a long time yet and I'm so morbidly bored all the time.