What to do in time between ordering pills and CTB

[spoonie]

I know I want to CTB, but I have to wait a few weeks for my pills to arrive so I can actually do it. But I don't know how to behave around my loved ones (who I live with) in the meantime. On the one hand I feel like withdrawing from them because of the guilt I feel whenever I interact with them - guilt around how my passing away will make them feel (they don't know about my plan). But on the other hand I am very depressed and lonely and so I want to be around them and try to act normal to make the next few weeks bearable. I have a chronic illness and am practically housebound, so I don't see anyone else.

I'm so torn about how to behave around them. And I don't know what else to do in the meantime, apart from write my suicide note, which is so hard to do itself

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a difficult situation to be in. The way you feel is understandable. I'm sorry you are suffering so much, I know that loneliness can be painful for many people. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[rationaltake]

What is ctb?

Catching the bus. Suicide.

 

[june]

Be safe mate. Smile a bit, watch cringy youtuber apology videos

I know I want to CTB, but I have to wait a few weeks for my pills to arrive so I can actually do it. But I don't know how to behave around my loved ones (who I live with) in the meantime. On the one hand I feel like withdrawing from them because of the guilt I feel whenever I interact with them - guilt around how my passing away will make them feel (they don't know about my plan). But on the other hand I am very depressed and lonely and so I want to be around them and try to act normal to make the next few weeks bearable. I have a chronic illness and am practically housebound, so I don't see anyone else.

I'm so torn about how to behave around them. And I don't know what else to do in the meantime, apart from write my suicide note, which is so hard to do itself

Are you sure that this pills are the way to go? I think many overdose on meds is very unreliable Be safeee