WaffleCat
Member
- Apr 25, 2026
- 16
Summary:
On top of all this:
I lost my purpose since my career is basically now dead and I have no motivation to reinvent myself. I don't feel like an adult due to looking like a child and I feel disgusted looking at myself. I was told multiple times at my job that I look like a 12 year old by co-workers and my boss. I can't confide in my family since my family is dysfunctional and mentally ill.
On the bright side I do have plenty of friends and I don't need to work since I have money and live with my parents, but I still don't feel happy with life.
I am now contemplating ending it since I don't really serve a purpose anymore and I can't find joy in life due to my insecurities. While I am depressed I also feel logical about this decision and I have made a plan. I have been depressed since I was 11, and the light at the end of the tunnel was snuffed out. Making six figures was supposed to be what made everything worth it, but now that is gone. I am 23 and I am about to be 24, so I am 6 years away from being 30. If my teenage years were unhappy and now my 20s are unhappy, then what is the point? I just went through 12 years of depression. I might as well end it now and spare myself even more years of unhappiness.
- My mom went crazy due to cancer when I was 11, and was therefore extremely overprotective which has stunted me.
- So I spent my entire life inside the house on the computer
- I was also severely underweight until I was 16, to the point that doctors threatened to call child protective services. I fear I stunted my growth because of this. I am 5'9 but my frame is small and my wrists are thin, I get told I look like a 12 year old boy even by my mom. My dad is tall and masculine so I know something went wrong.
- I managed to turn my life around at 18 and excel in college and even acquire a remote job that paid well. Until a family member went crazy and would assault me so I couldn't continue working.
- But that was ok because I moved out, I got a job in a prestigious lab up north working as IT support, and I was making six figures at 22. And then I was illegally fired a year later for reporting harassment. After that my parents pressured me to return home.
- I am unable to find a job now since AI is taking over my career field(IT/programmer), this is despite me having 3 years of experience, certifications, and a degree.
On top of all this:
- I never had a girlfriend
- I have ADHD
- I'm not attractive
- I was humilated by a girl I liked
I lost my purpose since my career is basically now dead and I have no motivation to reinvent myself. I don't feel like an adult due to looking like a child and I feel disgusted looking at myself. I was told multiple times at my job that I look like a 12 year old by co-workers and my boss. I can't confide in my family since my family is dysfunctional and mentally ill.
On the bright side I do have plenty of friends and I don't need to work since I have money and live with my parents, but I still don't feel happy with life.
I am now contemplating ending it since I don't really serve a purpose anymore and I can't find joy in life due to my insecurities. While I am depressed I also feel logical about this decision and I have made a plan. I have been depressed since I was 11, and the light at the end of the tunnel was snuffed out. Making six figures was supposed to be what made everything worth it, but now that is gone. I am 23 and I am about to be 24, so I am 6 years away from being 30. If my teenage years were unhappy and now my 20s are unhappy, then what is the point? I just went through 12 years of depression. I might as well end it now and spare myself even more years of unhappiness.
