1. Knowing that every day is going to be mostly pain with only a hint of pleasure. This is my number one reason, I think. Life feels tiring and I'm a fucking neet!
Sub-reasons:
- I hate taking care of this fucking flesh automaton. I was thrust into existence and now I must bear responsibility? Damn. How shitty is that. It's constant maintenance, even if I didn't have type 1 diabetes.
- Loneliness is my only path. I have fantasies about being loved and such, but they are mere fantasies. Everyone can be better than me, so why settle for me? Even as a friend, I can't help emotionally and with practical matters I'm dumb. My memes are too niche and selfish.
- It feels like suicide is inevitable for me. Either way I'll have to die by my hand, since relying on nature is too slow and sad.
- Working would be basically "voluntary" slavery.