Help What illicit drugs would help me CTB? (not necessarily as method, but more to give me energy and confidence to go ahead and do it)

[LittleJem]

Hi, my energy is really low with depression. My CTB method will be CO in a tent. But it takes a lot of energy for me even to get the right tent, follow instructions etc as so fatigued.

Alexander McQueen has taken cocaine when he CTB and sometimes when I take K, LSD it gives me more energy. I'm less experienced with cocaine, I've tried it twice, but I do have access to it from just recently.

Im wondering if one of these drugs will help me find the courage and energy to CTB.
The more I am reading now about depression, the more I am giving up any hope this will get better and I don't want to carry on suffering like this.
I think I will CTB in October. I just rented somewhere for the next six months, so maybe I should say six months to CTB. And work out what if anything I can enjoy before then!

 

[muffin222]

Honestly, I think that if you absolutely need drugs to give you the courage to ctb, it may be worth using the next 6 months to carefully consider your options and any possible alternatives that you may have not explored yet before ending your life

I don't know your situation, but from what I've read, nearly 7 out of 10 adults are able to find a successful treatment for depression, so you may have options besides ctb that you haven't yet explored. I'm so sorry you're suffering like this

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

It's kind of funny, for many methods we have to defeat depression in order to kill ourselves. When the depression is gone, however, suicide will often not feel like a pressing matter.

 

[LittleJem]

I'm scared that my illness will leave me bedridden again and I won't have energy to CTB. I was bedridden for a year with this torture before, and don't want to have no escape. I have a sense that Ketamine could give me a bit more energy, so I can organise CTB. I think maybe also cocaine could do it.

Thanks for all your messages. I am putting together a try before I die list, but really I am so tired of all of it.
It's also even having the energy to plan my death, write my will, work out my funeral. I literally just contacted a friend/therapist/acquaintance to ask her if she will do the funeral planning with me.

 

[Mentalmick]

I'm scared that my illness will leave me bedridden again and I won't have energy to CTB. I was bedridden for a year with this torture before, and don't want to have no escape. I have a sense that Ketamine could give me a bit more energy, so I can organise CTB. I think maybe also cocaine could do it.

Thanks for all your messages. I am putting together a try before I die list, but really I am so tired of all of it.
It's also even having the energy to plan my death, write my will, work out my funeral. I literally just contacted a friend/therapist/acquaintance to ask her if she will do the funeral planning with me.

I think Ketamine would have the opposite effect.

 

[LittleJem]

I think Ketamine would have the opposite effect.

It gives me energy so that is why it will help. When I take it, it makes me trip a little, but I am still aware of how much I am suffering and how much I want the suffering to be over. It's about something that will give me the energy to CTB, as so fatigued

 

[WornOutLife]

Not Illicit but...
When I tried to ctb last year, alcohol and lots of sleeping pills really relaxed me and I was gonna go for it but, they were so many pills to take that I ended up passing out and in a comma for 2 days.

 

[RedHarlequin]

If you need something to relax yourself benzodiazepines are a good option (Xanax, Diazepam) but I see your problem is loss of energy.. I have that too, I have noticed however that I am a bit more energetic when the sun is out so I am planning to ctb during a sunny day

 

[Celerity]

Honestly, I think that if you absolutely need drugs to give you the courage to ctb, it may be worth using the next 6 months to carefully consider your options and any possible alternatives that you may have not explored yet before ending your life

I don't know your situation, but from what I've read, nearly 7 out of 10 adults are able to find a successful treatment for depression, so you may have options besides ctb that you haven't yet explored. I'm so sorry you're suffering like this

7 out of 10? That has to be bullshit unless they're stretching the definition of depression.

 

[WornOutLife]

Alcohol, which is the easiest to get by walking a few meters to the nearest store from your house, can help.

At least it helped me to supress my SI last year when I tried to ctb.

 

[Umbreon]

only time I fell from my anchor point when attempting the CTB was when I was drunk. Alchohol is probably good

 

[Jeannine]

Personally, idk if lyrica is illicit but i get real gutsy on it. i second benzos like redharlequin said, but it doesnt get me as gutsy as lyrica does, and i get sleepy too. might work for you, though