What if you can't live up.....

[Meteora]

.... to your own values? Because you are a bit retarded when it comes to feelings?
I have strong believes but reality is mostly very different.

People keep telling me that I have too high expectations. What if that is the result of everyone else always having had (too) high expectations of you?

Does anyone know this?

 

[derpyderpins]

It's tough when it's such a vague question. Maybe saying which value you are talking about will help.

But yeah, I'd say maybe you need to consider changing your goals. That doesn't necessarily just mean lowering them, it could be reframing them based on your situation.

 

[Meteora]

I have high expectations when it comes to interpersonal relations. I expect a lot from myself, thus a lot from others,I guess.

 

[xinino]

I never had my personal values, I am living using other people values, my values lies beyond rationality, individualism is unreal thus it needs self destruction to rebuild itself.

 

[derpyderpins]

I have high expectations when it comes to interpersonal relations. I expect a lot from myself, thus a lot from others,I guess.

So, one suggestion would be to focus on finding one or two relations to make very strong, if you are focusing so much on quality and expecting a lot in return. If your expectations are above normal, you may simply have to give a little more than you take, knowing that it will help raise the other person's behavior up to where you want it to be.

 

[Meteora]

So, one suggestion would be to focus on finding one or two relations to make very strong, if you are focusing so much on quality and expecting a lot in return. If your expectations are above normal, you may simply have to give a little more than you take, knowing that it will help raise the other person's behavior up to where you want it to be.

Hm ok. I don t think I m taking more than I give, though.
Maybe the thread should be deleted. It makes not much sense. I just felt that strongly yesterday, some kind of anxiety. I think it maninly comes from my ex-boyfriend saying it.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I wish I could just have strong enough beliefs on anything. I feel like I compromise too easily and my opinions can be twisted by contrarianism because I feel nothing for warring factions on most issues. I cannot even live up to my own values because I don't really have any values. I only act the way I do out of fear but fear is not a real value.

 

[derpyderpins]

Hm ok. I don t think I m taking more than I give, though.
Maybe the thread should be deleted. It makes not much sense. I just felt that strongly yesterday, some kind of anxiety. I think it maninly comes from my ex-boyfriend saying it.

I don't assume you are taking more than you give, I'm saying if your expectations are really high, you may not have the luxury of an equal give and take like everyone else does. Although if this is just something an ex told you . . . I'd focus on evaluating the validity before solving the problem. "You just expect to much" sounds like an excuse from someone who wasn't doing enough.

Don't worry about the thread being a little messy. That's why we ask for input - our brains are messy and it's sometimes hardest to interpret from the inside.