What happens when it doesn't work....

[trixiebee]

I have everything in order to Ctb today. I'm home alone, my house is clean, I've said my goodbyes and my method of partial hanging is set up. Here's the thing: I've done this before and it didn't go right and I landed myself in a psych ward for ten days. I'm much happier with my set up this time and have done all the research I possibly can (last time was a spur of the moment thing). I burst all the little blood vessels in my face and was covered in tiny red dots, not something I could hide from my family and had to come clean about what I'd done. I don't even really know why I'm writing this? Maybe any words of advice would be helpful? I'm getting kinda scared it won't work and I'll have to go back to hospital again.

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, I've also had a bad experience because of my failed attempt. I didn't end up in a psych ward but was in a comma for 2 days, got covid in the hospital, then I was there for a 1 month and finally I ended up as a prisoner in my parents' house for almost 6 months.

Just like you, next time, failing is not an option for me. For that reason, I'm doing my best to live but if I can't endure life, I'll have no choice but to have a "perfect" suicide.

Anyway, I don't want you to leave this world but I think what you're doing is okay. Just look at every single possibility so that you don't end up in a psych ward again.