Meaning of life... I used to think I tried to find it, and I thought I had a personal answer to that question... It turns out however, answer I thought was only materialist extension mirrored to my thoughts, if I can say that way. I mean, if I have found the meaning of life, it should be true for all and universal right? Otherwise it would be wrong... While my conclusion here can not be certainly true, however that's what I think "making philosophy" isn't.
It turns out, what I were doing so far was chasing my obsessions mercilessly. Trying to be good for others, to be better version of myself, be a man who will fix his own country's problems, be a visionery that will solve global warming... Things like that, but for what?.. It is because, if a thing is broken, it must be fixed... It is... It is an obsession, it is how I see life could be a meaning because now I give myself a tangible value, so even though I don't feel I deserve to live, at least I have a tangible proof that I am worth of something.
I guess in the end, only meaning left is that, one should pursue their obsessions.
That is why I think philosophy and fundementals of psychologu must be compulsory lessons highschool and prior schools.