Help What do Survival Instinct thoughts look like?

[°Celsuis_Caesar]

Perhaps If I know what they say to others I can recognize the BS in them, kind of like Lucid Dreaming; realizing you are in a dream despite thinking it's real life.

 

[whatevs]

Why would survival-prone feelings or thoughts be ALWAYS bullshit? Death-culty bias, IMO.

Surely some of us can solve our problems and live life. Probably not me. Hahaha.

 

[myopybyproxy]

I don't know how to explain it - an instinct doesn't come in a convenient form for verbalisation. It's just a vague all-consuming sense of foreboding that I mustn't die. It's not logical at all.

 

[Nanako]

I don't know how to explain it - an instinct doesn't come in a convenient form for verbalisation. It's just a vague all-consuming sense of foreboding that I mustn't die. It's not logical at all.

That's how I imagined it must be. Hopefully I won't be swayed by my mind's tricks when the time comes.

 

[Chiisai]

Hmm... In my experience, its not thoughts. Its just a feeling that sort of prevent you from hurting yourself.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Muh family
Muh free dumb
Muh heritage

 

[albino_elk]

in my case si takes over my mind. i cant control my body anymore its doing its own things. its like when you r drowning,you flapping your hands like crazy .the fear kicks in. you dont know why and what you are doing (everythings so surreal), theres nothing in your mind just wanting to stop what u r doing . si speaks with you that everythings not that bad and that theres possiblility to change things and si tricks your mind in believing that . when you sobering up from si everythings falls where it was before. never ending cycle

 

[myopybyproxy]

Muh family
Muh free dumb
Muh heritage

I like the wordplay there with freedom - clever.

 

[Crazy4u]

in my case si takes over my mind. i cant control my body anymore its doing its own things. its like when you r drowning,you flapping your hands like crazy .the fear kicks in. you dont know why and what you are doing (everythings so surreal), theres nothing in your mind just wanting to stop what u r doing . si speaks with you that everythings not that bad and that theres possiblility to change things and si tricks your mind in believing that . when you sobering up from si everythings falls where it was before. never ending cycle

this is very informative. I don't relate much to members who are worried about si. maybe I don't have it

 

[Chiisai]

this is very informative. I don't relate much to members who are worried about si. maybe I don't have it

I thought I didnt have it too until I was about to try something I know is going to be 100% guaranteed a permanent decision or mess me up badly.

 

[Crazy4u]

I thought I didnt have it too until I was about to try something I know is going to be 100% guaranteed a permanent decision or mess me up badly.

do you mind sharing more details? what truly stopped you? it would be helpful. I don't see many posts about failed attempts

 

[Chiisai]

do you mind sharing more details? what truly stopped you? it would be helpful. I don't see many posts about failed attempts

A feeling of hesitance. Dont take me wrong, I was deadset on my schedule to CTB and had everything prepared already. But the moment I knew I cant go wrong with my attempt, there's just this feeling of last moment hesitation like you want to let go of everything but at the same time you dont want to.

 

[win32]

Having held a loaded handgun in my mouth with the safety off and my finger on the trigger, it's a subconscious kind of hesitation more than it is a thought of "actually maybe I don't wanna die." More physical than mental. Adrenaline is part of it. But for me, I think about 70% of it came from the fear of failure or non-instant death (due to the ammo type), and only about 30% from actual survival instinct. Fear of failure/pain and raw SI have pretty much the same effect. If I had a shotgun instead of a handgun with shitty ammo that day, I'm certain I'd have easily bypassed SI and pulled the trigger.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

They don't "look" like anything.

It's how you feel.

However, re overdosing, once you start bolting the tablets, you kind of enter a trance.

Once you start, you've committed, and you just soldier on and get it done. It's a very spiritual thing.

 

[Starryeyes]

Hope.

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

Hope.

Hope is a beggar.

Hope walks through the fire, faith leaps over it.

 

[ikadasui]

That it isn't that bad or I can work this out! Things will get better etc is how it usually pans out for me. I need something really traumatic to push my hand considering I have a ready method on hand but don't have the drive to go about it

 

[Cockney_Rebel]

That it isn't that bad or I can work this out! Things will get better etc is how it usually pans out for me. I need something really traumatic to push my hand considering I have a ready method on hand but don't have the drive to go about it

Practice makes perfect.

My next one, will be the one.

 

[Starryeyes]

Hope is a beggar.

Hope walks through the fire, faith leaps over it.

It's a fucker isn't it.

 

[Crazy4u]

Practice makes perfect.

My next one, will be the one.

this is a very good idea!!!!

 

[FuneralCry]

The survival instinct can be determined to keep us suffering as we are programmed to survive. It can mean that ctb is very difficult. I believe that maybe people have thoughts of doubt and fear about their decision to ctb.

 

[Chovyfan]

Lay down in a tub full of water and when you start panicing and trying to get out is what survival instinct thoughts are like.

 

[Hercules]

For me, it always goes like this. On the day of my planned ctb, I feel perfectly calm and at peace. I am confident in my decision. I know that I am going to go through with it. I set everything up. I know what I have to do and am fully determined to do it. Then at the last minute, I start to get anxious. I hesitate, and then the panic sets in. It's like 2 parts of me are having a duel to see who will win. One part says that I don't want to live anymore. I want to die and finally be at peace. The other part panics and says, Wait a minute. This isn't such a good idea. I don't really want to die. Then I am frozen in fear unable to do anything. I feel like I can't live anymore, but at the same time I am unable to die. I am trapped between life and death.
SI is a very sneaky thing. You may think that you don't have any SI or that you will be able to overcome it. SI always shows up at the last minute. Death doesn't seem scary when you think it is in the distant future. It is another thing entirely when you are staring death in the eye and know that you are about to send yourself there.

 

[KlMeNw]

Hope is a beggar.

Hope walks through the fire, faith leaps over it.

If hope is a beggar than faith is an arrogant cheater...

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

Survival instinct, will to survive, fear of death, fear of the unknown, fear to miss something, are this different things or different aspects of the same thing?

For example partial hanging: You feel unconsciousness coming and stand on your feet again, this is what I would call survival instinct. This instinct is easy to trick out by full suspension hanging.

Another situation: You prepared everything for full suspension hanging, you really want to die, you stand noosed on the stool but you cannot step off. This is a different thing, I would call it fear of death. It becomes the stronger the closer the time of death approaches and it is hard to trick out.
When I watch execution videos I am always surprise how calm the condemned look like. Maybe the fear of death is mitigated when death is inevitable and it is only strong when you can do something to survive. Unfortunately suicide is an act of free will.