What do I do

[Noonespecial]

My roommate just cornered me and made me promise to see a doctor..I said I would figure it out on my own and she wouldn't let me leave until I promised to let her find one and go with me. How do I get out of this...

 

[Inferdan]

Depends, are you ok with lying to them or do you want to do things honestly?

 

[Noonespecial]

Depends, are you ok with lying to them or do you want to do things honestly?

I've been lying to them for months with the exception of hiding myself away when I actually planned to kill myself I've made sure to be happy every time we're together or anything I don't understand what is causing them to freak out like this

 

[Inferdan]

I've been lying to them for months with the exception of hiding myself away when I actually planned to kill myself I've made sure to be happy every time we're together or anything I don't understand what is causing them to freak out like this

They may have suspected something, then. Well, if it is fine, there are some things you can do, depending on how you are, your plan, and how you pull it off. They may or may not believe you, but it's worth a try. You could try and persuade them to let you do it, which could buy you some time. Or you can try and comfort them, tellng them that you won't try it again. Agh, wish I could do better than those, but I'm not really in the best state to do so. I hope this helps in any way, at least getting the ball rolling towards an answer.

 

[faust]

Roommate will go with you the first time, but she will never know where you will go the next time

 

[Noonespecial]

They may have suspected something, then. Well, if it is fine, there are some things you can do, depending on how you are, your plan, and how you pull it off. They may or may not believe you, but it's worth a try. You could try and persuade them to let you do it, which could buy you some time. Or you can try and comfort them, tellng them that you won't try it again. Agh, wish I could do better than those, but I'm not really in the best state to do so. I hope this helps in any way, at least getting the ball rolling towards an answer.

It's ok I appreciate the help. I told them when I locked myself away and they got worried that I just wasn't feeling well they didn't buy it so I made sure to spend lots of extra time doing fun things and making sure I atleast looked like I was ok. I'm hoping I bought myself some time by agreeing to it and they'll just forget it and I can go.

Roommate will go with you the first time, but she will never know where you will go the next time


View attachment 29040

True. I just really don't want to even go to one at all

 

[Mm80]

Did they explain their concerns?

 

[Noonespecial]

Did they explain their concerns?

yeah she basically said she's afraid to go to work or school because she thinks I'm going to do something which I mean isn't wrong but I've made it a point to not hint to anything at all

 

[Mm80]

yeah she basically said she's afraid to go to work or school because she thinks I'm going to do something which I mean isn't wrong but I've made it a point to not hint to anything at all

It's a tough one as it's nice that she cares so much. I don't mind telling lies to a doc as it's less personal but struggle with lying to friends.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

This is an issue of boundaries. In fact, I highly recommend the book Boundaries ASAP (imo skip the preachy parts).

Your friend is being controlling and emotionally bullying. I would suggest telling her what would actually help, and telling her that you felt forced to make a promise and you are not going to keep it. She may not be able to provide the support you need, and she is freaking out and trying to make you do things so she will feel better and in control. Having a series of conversations would be good, setting the expectation that it as a process, it will not be resolved in one sitting. She may need external support if she can't handle what's going on with you, because controlling you ain't gonna cut it for either one of you.

Okay, I just talked straight there. I'm not cuddly when it comes to boundary issues. I seriously recommend that book.

Sending compassion and a boundary-respecting hug your way.

 

[smile418]

I've read through the entire thread and I can't believe nobody has mentioned this before. Why not go to the doctor and see what he has to offer. I mean he can't force you to do anything you don't want to. If you don't wan't to tell him your problems, then don't. If you don't want to take medication, then don't.
But I don't think it can hurt just to see him. Who knows he might end up helping you after all. I think it would be worth a try.

Of course I respect and support every decision you make. Much love.

 

[Mm80]

I would definitely support someone seeing a doctor if it helps but the op was asking how do I get out of this? so I thought it fair to assume he/she didn't want to go to the docs.
If the question was should I go to the docs and try to get help I'd always suggest that.

 

[smile418]

I would definitely support someone seeing a doctor if it helps but the op was asking how do I get out of this? so I thought it fair to assume he/she didn't want to go to the docs.
If the question was should I go to the docs and try to get help I'd always suggest that.

You are absolutely right of course. I just thought it cannot hurt to look at the problem from a different perspective. As I said every decision of OP is valid.

 

[Mm80]

You are absolutely right of course. I just thought it cannot hurt to look at the problem from a different perspective. As I said every decision of OP is valid.

Yeah fair enough. Wouldn't do any harm to see a doctor.

 

[Noonespecial]

It's a tough one as it's nice that she cares so much. I don't mind telling lies to a doc as it's less personal but struggle with lying to friends.

Yeah me too.