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Where is your pain?

  • Emotional Pain

    Votes: 20 51.3%
  • Physical Pain

    Votes: 1 2.6%
  • Both

    Votes: 18 46.2%

  • Total voters
    39
вечный сон

вечный сон

Hey, I'm using SanctionedSuicide
Sep 17, 2025
186
Most of my life i suffered from depression and ctb thoughts. I had my first panic attack 5 years ago which was so intense it fucked up my whole Organs and since then i feel pain in my stomach/heart area. Sometimes i can ignore it, but sometimes it's so intense it makes we want to look for quick ways to end it all.
I've been to at least 10 different doctors, chiropractors, and massage therapists, and I've also tried acupuncture, muscle relaxers, Yoga and Meditation. Nothing helped me.

it really just takes chronic pain for life to be a total pointless drag. This shit really makes me miserable. Even without it i didn't wanna live, but now it doesn't make sense to be here anymore.

It's either trying opiods or ctb. Or both.
 
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darksouls

darksouls

Visionary
May 10, 2025
2,076
both
 
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Hime

Hime

nyaaa~
Nov 24, 2025
63
Suffering from a personality disorder, dissociative disorder, and a recent and severe case of trigger finger in my dominant hand. I've never felt more disabled/incapable in my life because of this. I've had the same thoughts as you, doing opioids to null the pain/ctb, but I don't know...
 
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kuroshimi

kuroshimi

If you're not remembered, then you never existed.
Dec 1, 2025
22
Mainly depression and some kind of anxiety.
 
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W

whywere

Illuminated
Jun 26, 2020
3,669
I have had mental health issues from day one.

In April 2015, was in a VERY nasty car crash, car crash NOT my fault, just wrong place at the wrong time, and it broke my sternum, and it tore all the nerves out of my right ear, I am deaf in it now and the worst part was that part of my spinal cord was torn from the back base of my brain. So now I have 24/7 chronic pain, and it is rough.

I have been on Hydromorphone for 10 years and without it, I highly doubt that I would be here. I detest taking drugs, HOWEVER sitting in the sunshine and enjoying listening to the ocean waves crash onto the shore is wonderous.

Also, with massive depression and the chronic pain, it is either drugs or ctb. I have tired almost every type of physical therapy that there is. Pool, machines, many sessions and it is what it is, I guess.

To everyone here, lots of hugs, the knowledge that each and every soul here is a wonderful part of a large family here, no matter wherever each soul's journey takes them.

Walter
 
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вечный сон

вечный сон

Hey, I'm using SanctionedSuicide
Sep 17, 2025
186
I have had mental health issues from day one.

In April 2015, was in a VERY nasty car crash, car crash NOT my fault, just wrong place at the wrong time, and it broke my sternum, and it tore all the nerves out of my right ear, I am deaf in it now and the worst part was that part of my spinal cord was torn from the back base of my brain. So now I have 24/7 chronic pain, and it is rough.

I have been on Hydromorphone for 10 years and without it, I highly doubt that I would be here. I detest taking drugs, HOWEVER sitting in the sunshine and enjoying listening to the ocean waves crash onto the shore is wonderous.

Also, with massive depression and the chronic pain, it is either drugs or ctb. I have tired almost every type of physical therapy that there is. Pool, machines, many sessions and it is what it is, I guess.

To everyone here, lots of hugs, the knowledge that each and every soul here is a wonderful part of a large family here, no matter wherever each soul's journey takes them.

Walter
Dann man, respect that you stood strong for so long. Your story sounds horrible but atleast you found something that makes it more bearable. Maybe i need some meds too, can't do it anymore if i have to live with this pain for the rest of my life.
 
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Hime

Hime

nyaaa~
Nov 24, 2025
63
I have had mental health issues from day one.

In April 2015, was in a VERY nasty car crash, car crash NOT my fault, just wrong place at the wrong time, and it broke my sternum, and it tore all the nerves out of my right ear, I am deaf in it now and the worst part was that part of my spinal cord was torn from the back base of my brain. So now I have 24/7 chronic pain, and it is rough.

I have been on Hydromorphone for 10 years and without it, I highly doubt that I would be here. I detest taking drugs, HOWEVER sitting in the sunshine and enjoying listening to the ocean waves crash onto the shore is wonderous.

Also, with massive depression and the chronic pain, it is either drugs or ctb. I have tired almost every type of physical therapy that there is. Pool, machines, many sessions and it is what it is, I guess.

To everyone here, lots of hugs, the knowledge that each and every soul here is a wonderful part of a large family here, no matter wherever each soul's journey takes them.

Walter
Thank you for writing this, made me tear up :heart:. I'm sending even more hugs to you, here's hoping that we invent some new kind of physical therapy for you!
 
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underairpressure

underairpressure

Member
Nov 30, 2025
9
Most of my suffering is mental, but about a year ago I started having health issues that still plague me. So it's kind of both now, and to top it off those health issues have affected my ability to do the things that have kept me alive all this time. I tell myself that maybe someday the health issues will magically vanish, but I know deep down I'm just deluding myself
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
46,058
My pain is as a result of this dreadful, cruel and torturous existence I just always saw as a mistake, all I hope for is to be gone, I just want to never suffer again, I always find it so painful to be burdened with this existence of unnecessary suffering so cruelly denied the option to cease existing peacefully with the suffering and torture of existing seen as to force and prolong no matter what.

I'll just always prefer to not exist than suffer, for me only non-existence is positive and desirable, I just want to be permanently unconscious free from all pain and suffering, it's just so unbearable to me how a human can be tortured in this existence for decades longer with no limit as to how much agony they can feel just to face the extreme torture of old age.
 
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TwistedNightmares

TwistedNightmares

I revoke my subscription from life.
Nov 1, 2025
126
Mostly emotional/mental pain. Occasionally physical as well.
 
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