hi i'm a lurker on here i've never actually posted anything (i wont proofread this) or commented before but ive used this website to gain some knowledge and was able to fully plan out a way for me to ctb, wont talk about any method cause its irrelevant , but i will specifically be doing it in 2 months time for strategic reasons, im not able to do it any earlier.
that being said, continuing to live day to day until my ctb day has made me feel extremely disturbed and i think it has left me in more pain than i originally was
that's not to say that i haven't accepted the fact that my life is going to be over, i fully have
i think im just disappointed that there's so many things in life that i won't get to experience, and although im okay with that, it feels like the grim reaper is looking over my shoulder at all times, even tho its myself that is the grim reaper in reality
it hurts to do any day to day things because truly nothing matters anymore now that everything is planned out , like waiting for a really long timer to be over
that being said, continuing to live day to day until my ctb day has made me feel extremely disturbed and i think it has left me in more pain than i originally was
that's not to say that i haven't accepted the fact that my life is going to be over, i fully have
i think im just disappointed that there's so many things in life that i won't get to experience, and although im okay with that, it feels like the grim reaper is looking over my shoulder at all times, even tho its myself that is the grim reaper in reality
it hurts to do any day to day things because truly nothing matters anymore now that everything is planned out , like waiting for a really long timer to be over
