Website Poll

[gameplayer]

In the suicide discussion section, I made a poll to know what percentage of people on this website are actually planning to kill themselves at some point, for my information. Someone suggested I make one in this section too, so here it is.

 

[darksouls]

the main reason that I am here is that I am isolated and lonely,
I was member in a forum similar to sasu in my native language for about 6 month,
but they banned me,
I am thankful to be here,
this community is friendly and supportive,
that helped me a lot

 

[trying ungracefully]

I don't know what to answer (voted both) because I go through times where I am scared. What would happen to my family, what happens after death, how painful it would be, and would I regret it when it is too late.

I've been here a while on three accounts and at first it was for me to get SN and wait until I have the money to buy ad afford a PO Box. I would never have enough money for it or I would have good moments and forget about it, I get happy spending money. So over time I started to slightly recover, meds got better, and things are getting to an okay point. But when I really think about things I get so sad and I want to die because it feels hopeless to try and recover.

My main issue is not leaving the house, not having a job ,and living at my parents house with them supporting me. It causes me to feel really depressed. I got to a point where I am volunteering (once already and then planning this Friday) but when I think I still feel hopeless because I am not volunteering like I should be for recovery. Canceled the first time, I fucked up and left early the first time I went, and it took two weeks for me to sign up again. If I get a job I need to go everyday, no excuses.

But the fears and good things are keeping me here. I am holding out because I am still 22 years old and I have time. I think if I got to 25 years old and I am still like this it would be a different story. Right now I still have time and I am going to put in the effort until I can't anymore.