Venting We could have been happy together

[737492]

I feel incredibly stupid for this, but my main reason for wanting to kill myself is because I'm unable to be with someone I love.

I have many other reasons. I was abused as a kid, I have a dysfunctional family, I'm lonely and pretty much friendless, and I hate my looks. But some years ago I met someone who I clicked with so well, who i was truly in love with.

It was the first time i felt accepted and loved by someone. It was all so strange to me, I would cry sometimes because being loved felt so unfamiliar. But I was happy. Happy that I had found love and someone to have a future with. I told myself that no matter what had happened in my past, I could heal and build a future with them.

I dont want to go into details but being together in person became pretty much impossible. And now I dont have a reason to live anymore, or a future to look forward to. I lost the only person I've been in love with.

I tried to move on but couldn't find anyone. I'd either find people who'd ghost me or people interested in casual sex. I didnt want that, I wanted love.

I dont know what to do now. Its killing me knowing I'll never be with them. That other people have what we had and didnt lose it. I'm angry and dont understand why life had to take something so precious away from me.

 

[Red]

For all the people that found it and stayed together, many more were denied their chance to be with that one person they thought they were destined to be with. If you guys got together it might never have been the fairytale you imagine it to be,
- we have a tendency to turn missed could-have-beens into perfect scenarios that only work out for the best...

But, saying that, sometimes people reconnect later on and make up for lost time. There are many stories of lost loves being rekindled later down the line, nobody knows what the future holds!

The land of love is more treacherous now than I think it has ever been and I don't blame you at all for your misgivings on being able to find it again for reals. I wouldn't be able to do tinder or anything like that either! You seem like a romantic soul and those are in woefully short supply. I hope that you do find someone to share your life with, that it takes you by surprise and sweeps you off your feet when you least expect it (it's wily and always strikes best when we aren't looking!).

On a different note, getting the stuff together for your chosen method does help to give you a sense of control, like it's your choice to be there or to go. Sometimes this can give you the confidence you need to live life a little less stressfully, knowing you have the option if all else fails.