Venting Wasting my youth

[callofthevoid_]

if i don't end up taking my own life, if i can't gather the courage or if i fail to execute my plans. I would've wasted the best of my years rotting away in my misery. I will never be able to get this time back, i will never be 20 years old again, but instead of even trying to enjoy my youth im consumed by shame and self hatred

 

[OrphicEnd]

Why do you hate yourself ?

 

[lizzywizzy09]

I felt the same way at roughly your age. Then I gave myself something to be permanently depressed about. 20 is so young that it's ridiculous. I'm 34 and life is ridiculously long. If I didn't have the issues I had, I'd go out and enjoy life, not giving a flying fuck about how I wasted my 20's. Not to discourage you from ctb but think long and hard about where you theoretically might be at 30 or 40 and what you wished you would have done at your current age. Good luck with whatever it is you choose to do.

 

[callofthevoid_]

Why do you hate yourself ?

I'm not a very lovable person

 

[lizzywizzy09]

I'm not a very lovable person

Did someone tell you that?

 

[Unknown21]

I feel the seme way, my youth is fading away, idk why me, everyone else has a good life but me, i hate this so much.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

So you're at a crossroads moment now. The ship is in harbor now but it won't stay forever. What do you think you can do now so you don't look back with regret?

 

[callofthevoid_]

So you're at a crossroads moment now. The ship is in harbor now but it won't stay forever. What do you think you can do now so you don't look back with regret?

Isn't that the ultimate question.. idk

Did someone tell you that?

I think it's something I slowly came in terms with over time

 

[Agon321]

Well, I'm in a similar situation.

I too am wasting my youth by doing nothing. I don't develop at all and I vegetate.
It's a bit funny, because this fact makes me feel even worse, I want CTB even more... and I'm wasting my time even more.
The worst thing is that I turn into an empty shell... a pathetic situation.

I don't know how long you've had mental problems, but if you're thinking about the future, you need to start taking action now.
After some time it may be too late.
Unfortunately, it's easier said than done.

I'm a piece of shit who's given up, so I can't give you any advice because those words coming out of my mouth would be very funny.
I can only wish you good luck and don't follow my example. I'm weak, you're not necessarily weak.

 

[b1cycle]

You've only wasted it relative to an idea of what your youth should have been that only exists in your head. You could still be sad if you lived it the way you think you should have. People who are living their youth however you think is the correct way are also sad. So stop comparing yourself to it :).

 

[callofthevoid_]

Well, I'm in a similar situation.

I too am wasting my youth by doing nothing. I don't develop at all and I vegetate.
It's a bit funny, because this fact makes me feel even worse, I want CTB even more... and I'm wasting my time even more.
The worst thing is that I turn into an empty shell... a pathetic situation.

I don't know how long you've had mental problems, but if you're thinking about the future, you need to start taking action now.
After some time it may be too late.
Unfortunately, it's easier said than done.

I'm a piece of shit who's given up, so I can't give you any advice because those words coming out of my mouth would be very funny.
I can only wish you good luck and don't follow my example. I'm weak, you're not necessarily weak.

Thank you. I hope you find your peace, please don't be too harsh on yourself