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thx1138

thx1138

Student
Jun 28, 2019
159
The gist of it is: I recently got diagnosed with schizophrenia and I decided to tell my parents. I am in my late 20s and I live away from them and I'm independent. However, I have no other family besides them and no friends. They are pretty much the only "close" people in my life.

First I told my mom, who is in general more supportive. She is not perfect, she has a tendency to avoid or minimize my problems. I told her not to tell my dad.

But today, I accidentally told him too. He can be very abusive and he is part of the reason why I probably have this illness in the first place.

On one hand, I regret telling him. Will he use it against me? Will he accuse me of lying? Will it make him go in a narcissistic rage? His response was something like "Hopefully your life didn't change because of this diagnosis and you can still work."

On the other hand, I think it's better that I told him in case he finds out anyway. And now perhaps I can use this to explain why I find his behavior terrible at times and don't want to talk to him. Lastly, he's still my parent so I thought he should know. And I just have no one else in my life due to severe social anxiety.

I'm just scared in case I made a mistake.
 
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timf

Enlightened
Mar 26, 2020
1,578
Telling parents who are supportive can provide them with a better understanding and tells them you want them involved in your life. Telling a non-supportive parent is a risk that they may try to use it to hurt you. However, a risk assessment may show that the actual "hurt" that could be inflicted may not be as great as you fear.

A parent with whom you are already distant to some degree may get angry or abusive, however, the already established distance may act to buffer the impact. There is also the possibility that the new information may open a channel through which a closer relationship might be built.
 
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thx1138

thx1138

Student
Jun 28, 2019
159
Telling parents who are supportive can provide them with a better understanding and tells them you want them involved in your life. Telling a non-supportive parent is a risk that they may try to use it to hurt you. However, a risk assessment may show that the actual "hurt" that could be inflicted may not be as great as you fear.

A parent with whom you are already distant to some degree may get angry or abusive, however, the already established distance may act to buffer the impact. There is also the possibility that the new information may open a channel through which a closer relationship might be built.
Thank you!!! So far, I don't know what the exact reaction is. We only spoke on the phone, so I can't accurately judge the emotions like it would be face-to-face.

My mom has been mostly supportive. She has been encouraging me through this tough time and reminding me to get enough sleep, food, etc.

My dad said something about "Doctors may be wrong", which makes me think he doesn't believe it, but whatever. Like you said, I'm lucky that we live apart so the distance can buffer the impact.
 

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