Wanna burn myself

[Pigeonleaderboard44]

I called off one of my jobs and IDK if I wanna go to class today. I really wanna go back to burning myself. I haven't self harmed in two years but I wanna go back. At least my pain felt real. Like something was actually wrong with me. Like I can be taken seriously. But no, I guess I'm not depressed and just faking it. I guess my depression just isn't deep enough. I'm only knee deep in the water. But maybe I should change that

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

Just by the way you're talking about self harming, I can tell your depression IS deep enough. If you wanna harm yourself, then that's serious, and you must be feeling lower than ever to look towards that. It's like you're sinking and looking up at a door that has a dark abyss on the other side of it. Your pain is valid, your pain is real. Something is not right, without the burn scars on your arms. Your depression just as it is significant. Everything you're saying tells me the water is up to your ears, and you're trying to keep your head above water.

 

[Pigeonleaderboard44]

I called off one of my jobs and IDK if I wanna go to class today. I really wanna go back to burning myself. I haven't self harmed in two years but I wanna go back. At least my pain felt real. Like something was actually wrong with me. Like I can be taken seriously. But no, I guess I'm not depressed and just faking it. I guess my depression just isn't deep enough. I'm only knee deep in the water. But maybe I should change that

Y'all I'm not trying to be mean but I'm on 988 and I told them I felt trapped in my living situation and they said " you should just work and save up to move out" THIS IS REALLY MY FINAL REASON

Just by the way you're talking about self harming, I can tell your depression IS deep enough. If you wanna harm yourself, then that's serious, and you must be feeling lower than ever to look towards that. It's like you're sinking and looking up at a door that has a dark abyss on the other side of it. Your pain is valid, your pain is real. Something is not right, without the burn scars on your arms. Your depression just as it is significant. Everything you're saying tells me the water is up to your ears, and you're trying to keep your head above water.

Thank you for validating my feelings. I think I'm just upset cuz I spoke to my roommate about it and they basically said " your depression is to your knees, my depression is to my neck and I'm drowning" and in hindsight I'm kinda mad at that analogy.

Just by the way you're talking about self harming, I can tell your depression IS deep enough. If you wanna harm yourself, then that's serious, and you must be feeling lower than ever to look towards that. It's like you're sinking and looking up at a door that has a dark abyss on the other side of it. Your pain is valid, your pain is real. Something is not right, without the burn scars on your arms. Your depression just as it is significant. Everything you're saying tells me the water is up to your ears, and you're trying to keep your head above water.

Thank you for validating my feelings. I think I'm just upset cuz I spoke to my roommate about it and they basically said " your depression is to your knees, my depression is to my neck and I'm drowning" and in hindsight I'm kinda mad at that analogy.
Ok I feel bad about the 988 thing. I know not everyone has the ability to like cheer people up especially from depression. But like- offering such a generic solution to someone just feels- off. I don't feel like I should have the audacity to be upset about it, but I feel kinda worse? Like I would have rather relapsed than reach out cuz I felt like a chore. Like I know what I need to do, I can come up with solutions myself I just needed someone who wasn't someone I knew to listen. At first I thought maybe being solution oriented was the way to make me feel better but it's not. It's awful. I feel like my emotions are all over the place now.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

I've heard some crazy things about 988, and wow, that response they gave you was not real helpful.

 

[Pigeonleaderboard44]

I've heard some crazy things about 988, and wow, that response they gave you was not real helpful.

I keep going back to them like a lost puppy. I keep thinking something will change. Maybe I'll feel better, or maybe they'll impart something new to me. But it doesn't change anything