blueclover_.
Better Never to Have Been: 2006, David Benatar
- Oct 11, 2021
- 667
@91Days, @TheHatedOne, @Cheers, i wonder how they've been. It must be so peaceful, right? I love them. I love them all. I hope everything's okay there. I want to go there soon. I'm waiting for something big enough to trigger 'that' feeling and actually take the poison. I've been getting hopes lately, but again, life turns me down. I just hope she doesn't betray me. I know she doesn't like me back, she's just trying to be nice. Besides, no one likes me beside from my looks. I tried to be a reserved person but in the end, no one will ever accept the real me like that person. My ex-girlfriend who ran away from home and left me here. She's got problems, damn, i wish you were here. I thought Dea would be similar to her, my ex-girlfriend, but turns out they're completely different. Why am i like this? I want to cry, why can't i do that anymore? Please just kill me. Someone. My dad used to beat me up for every single thing i do, but now i guess that i've thrown my pride away, he treats me well now. Of course it's all fake, he's just trying to make me stay here and take care of him when he's old.
And, Nibras. He still likes me. Strange, i was the one who flirted with him, yet he still clings up to me after our graduation. All that talk about liking someone else, i even helped him to ask that girl out, yet he said he still likes me. Honestly, i've been keeping him fairly close for my own amusement. He's cute, yeah, but i don't like him in that kind of way anymore. Not after you came into my life when i was severely depressed. You... you were my light back then. My only light. It was pitch black. But now it's gray. The world doesn't look so scary anymore. Since you left, nothing seems to matter. I'm drunk, alone, and i want to kill myself. I don't care about anyone, i want to cry,
And, Nibras. He still likes me. Strange, i was the one who flirted with him, yet he still clings up to me after our graduation. All that talk about liking someone else, i even helped him to ask that girl out, yet he said he still likes me. Honestly, i've been keeping him fairly close for my own amusement. He's cute, yeah, but i don't like him in that kind of way anymore. Not after you came into my life when i was severely depressed. You... you were my light back then. My only light. It was pitch black. But now it's gray. The world doesn't look so scary anymore. Since you left, nothing seems to matter. I'm drunk, alone, and i want to kill myself. I don't care about anyone, i want to cry,
