ashesashes
uɯnʇnɐ
- May 8, 2025
- 10
hi there.
i found this website through 4chan and it looks like there's a lot of supportive people here. i've talked about my issues with so many people but nobody's been able to help, so i'm hoping maybe someone here might give me something different.
i'm very suicidal (obviously). i'm 20 years old, turning 21 this year. i've suffered from severe anxiety and gender dysphoria my entire life, though i've never been open about the latter with anyone outside of the internet. and just in the past year i've acquired severe depression after all my friends turned against me and i had to leave my home bc of my parents divorce. i'm incredibly touch-starved (haven't had any intimacy with literally anyone in over two years) and people just genuinely don't seem to have any interest in me anymore, though i guess i kind of stopped trying.
in the past 5 years everything in my life has been going to shit. i used to have a close family but everyone kind of separated after one of my family members committed suicide. going through high school was really tough but now that i'm an adult i feel like my life has lost all meaning.
i've been working shitty jobs since i graduated and each one i've quit due to feeling overwhelmed and trapped by them. now i've just given up. i'm unemployed, i have no friends, and i fucking hate spending every day in this god forsaken house. i'm starting to feel like i'm just keeping myself alive for no reason and i should just end it already. i have a dream of becoming a musician, which i've actively been trying to support but people have just stopped listening to my music and at this point it's just going nowhere. and i lack the social skills to actually make connections and become successful so i guess that's out.
as time goes on i've become increasingly more dangerous to myself. i haven't attempted anything yet but i know it's only a matter of time before things get to be too much. i'd love to be institutionalized, but i live in canada so even getting a therapist or psychologist for meds is nearly impossible. i just feel lost, and trapped in a world that gets worse as time goes on.
idk if anybody will read this but if anybody has any advice or anything lmk? i don't even know anymore i've told all of this to so many people... hopefully someone here can give me something i haven't heard yet.
i found this website through 4chan and it looks like there's a lot of supportive people here. i've talked about my issues with so many people but nobody's been able to help, so i'm hoping maybe someone here might give me something different.
i'm very suicidal (obviously). i'm 20 years old, turning 21 this year. i've suffered from severe anxiety and gender dysphoria my entire life, though i've never been open about the latter with anyone outside of the internet. and just in the past year i've acquired severe depression after all my friends turned against me and i had to leave my home bc of my parents divorce. i'm incredibly touch-starved (haven't had any intimacy with literally anyone in over two years) and people just genuinely don't seem to have any interest in me anymore, though i guess i kind of stopped trying.
in the past 5 years everything in my life has been going to shit. i used to have a close family but everyone kind of separated after one of my family members committed suicide. going through high school was really tough but now that i'm an adult i feel like my life has lost all meaning.
i've been working shitty jobs since i graduated and each one i've quit due to feeling overwhelmed and trapped by them. now i've just given up. i'm unemployed, i have no friends, and i fucking hate spending every day in this god forsaken house. i'm starting to feel like i'm just keeping myself alive for no reason and i should just end it already. i have a dream of becoming a musician, which i've actively been trying to support but people have just stopped listening to my music and at this point it's just going nowhere. and i lack the social skills to actually make connections and become successful so i guess that's out.
as time goes on i've become increasingly more dangerous to myself. i haven't attempted anything yet but i know it's only a matter of time before things get to be too much. i'd love to be institutionalized, but i live in canada so even getting a therapist or psychologist for meds is nearly impossible. i just feel lost, and trapped in a world that gets worse as time goes on.
idk if anybody will read this but if anybody has any advice or anything lmk? i don't even know anymore i've told all of this to so many people... hopefully someone here can give me something i haven't heard yet.
