BornofDust
Student
- Dec 11, 2020
- 132
Good evening everyone. As I have posted about before I don't have the best relationship with my parents.
She's been seeing a new man lately(she's in the process of separating from my father). So while it wasn't unusual for her to be gone for gong periods of time. It was unusual for her to be gone for about 3 days. So when I saw her I asked her(I'll admit my tone was a bit hostile, though every time I'd be like " hey where have you been you've been gone for a while." , she would proceed to get pissed, call me a little baby and how I shouldn't ask an adult this, as well as other horrible things). So I said " what you doing here.' She proceed to get mad, saying that this is her house, then after a brief argument I explain to her that I tried to ask nicely but she always responds ruthlessly and dreamingly when asked. Then she stops to think for a second, then says neverminded. And that was the end of it.
Since then mom started acting cold-hearted towards me. While intellectually this isn't a big deal to me. Emotionally I'm a bit hurt by this. And I honestly don't understand why. While she's not exactly giving me the silent treatment, she's been treating me very coldly lately since that encounter. I even complimented her hair today and she coldly thanked me. Especially compared to her warmer tone towards my father and cousins(on the phone). Whenever I speak to her now, her tone is cold, on point and flat. Even responding coldly to jokes she would usually laugh at(at least when I say it). As I'm gonna repeat, intellectually I'm fine with this, its better then her usually bara's of criticisms and insults, and I also know it seems a bit emotionally immature of her to do this but at the same time, emotionally, on a visceral level, I'm quite hurt by this, like why are you all of a sudden treating me specifically like this. Like are you just done with me or something, have my future stepbrothers replace your heart for me, do you no longer care(I know she doesn't but still), maybe that's why she was gone more then unusually. The dichotomies between my cognitive emotions and affective emotions are driving me crazy tbh. What your guys opinions on this? Cause I can't stand my conflicted feelings(even though I shouldn't be conflicted at all).
I don't know why this is still a problem for me(not just with my parents), people just acting cold towards me when I at least desire some sort of affection or something, especially in major moments when I got my degree, no I don't expect people to jump for joy or something but at least something instead of simple apathy, I really need to stop expecting this, I know intellectually this is pointless, yet I keep seeking it. I feel dumb as hell tbh. But again, what you guys think? Cause I'm all over the place emotionally lol.
She's been seeing a new man lately(she's in the process of separating from my father). So while it wasn't unusual for her to be gone for gong periods of time. It was unusual for her to be gone for about 3 days. So when I saw her I asked her(I'll admit my tone was a bit hostile, though every time I'd be like " hey where have you been you've been gone for a while." , she would proceed to get pissed, call me a little baby and how I shouldn't ask an adult this, as well as other horrible things). So I said " what you doing here.' She proceed to get mad, saying that this is her house, then after a brief argument I explain to her that I tried to ask nicely but she always responds ruthlessly and dreamingly when asked. Then she stops to think for a second, then says neverminded. And that was the end of it.
Since then mom started acting cold-hearted towards me. While intellectually this isn't a big deal to me. Emotionally I'm a bit hurt by this. And I honestly don't understand why. While she's not exactly giving me the silent treatment, she's been treating me very coldly lately since that encounter. I even complimented her hair today and she coldly thanked me. Especially compared to her warmer tone towards my father and cousins(on the phone). Whenever I speak to her now, her tone is cold, on point and flat. Even responding coldly to jokes she would usually laugh at(at least when I say it). As I'm gonna repeat, intellectually I'm fine with this, its better then her usually bara's of criticisms and insults, and I also know it seems a bit emotionally immature of her to do this but at the same time, emotionally, on a visceral level, I'm quite hurt by this, like why are you all of a sudden treating me specifically like this. Like are you just done with me or something, have my future stepbrothers replace your heart for me, do you no longer care(I know she doesn't but still), maybe that's why she was gone more then unusually. The dichotomies between my cognitive emotions and affective emotions are driving me crazy tbh. What your guys opinions on this? Cause I can't stand my conflicted feelings(even though I shouldn't be conflicted at all).
I don't know why this is still a problem for me(not just with my parents), people just acting cold towards me when I at least desire some sort of affection or something, especially in major moments when I got my degree, no I don't expect people to jump for joy or something but at least something instead of simple apathy, I really need to stop expecting this, I know intellectually this is pointless, yet I keep seeking it. I feel dumb as hell tbh. But again, what you guys think? Cause I'm all over the place emotionally lol.
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