Vent

[MellowTonin]

I don't know if there's a better place to vent other than "Suicide Discussion" but I kind of just want to get everything out there about my despression and experience.

I don't necessarily have anything going wrong in my life. I don't have relationship issues (other than lack of relationships), I don't have money problems, no one I'm close to has died. I almost feel guilty about being depressed sometimes. But I have horrible brain chemistry, I always feel tired, I have breakdowns multiple times a week, I have anxiety, my thoughts are mainly negative, and I don't get any fulfillment or pleasure out of doing anything. I feel empty, I don't have any purpose in life.

I absolutely hate myself. I'm not a terrible person or anything, but I'm extremely insecure. I have horrible social skills, and I try to observe people I like in shows or on youtube or people I'm around in real life but I'm just not absorbing anything. I have no friends, I can't get close to anyone. When I try to interact with anyone I have a hard time coming up with anything to say. My thought processes aren't very good and I'm not well-spoken. I'm boring. I'm bored of myself. I will never be satisfied with myself. I care about people and my relationships with people but I'm awful at making and maintaining them. What's the point of a life like that.


All I do is watch tv and play games to get through the day but it doesn't feel good and I'm tired of it. I see no future for myself. Even if the treatments I'm trying work it will take way too long to recover from the depressed void I've been in for so many years. I haven't been developing any skills or working on my life in that time. I just want it to be over. I don't want to suffer anymore.

 

[EternalShore]

don't worry~ This is a perfect place to post such a post~ I wish you were more able to interact with others and overcome your depression~ Being alone all the time feels so awful~ :( Unfortunately, it's practically an endless spiral where you being depressed makes you alone as people are evil and will just throw you under the bus which makes you more depressed and so on~ >_< aaaaaa~ I hope and pray we're both able to overcome that and make irl friends somehow! :)

 

[zixd]

I don't know if there's a better place to vent other than "Suicide Discussion" but I kind of just want to get everything out there about my despression and experience.

I don't necessarily have anything going wrong in my life. I don't have relationship issues (other than lack of relationships), I don't have money problems, no one I'm close to has died. I almost feel guilty about being depressed sometimes. But I have horrible brain chemistry, I always feel tired, I have breakdowns multiple times a week, I have anxiety, my thoughts are mainly negative, and I don't get any fulfillment or pleasure out of doing anything. I feel empty, I don't have any purpose in life.

I absolutely hate myself. I'm not a terrible person or anything, but I'm extremely insecure. I have horrible social skills, and I try to observe people I like in shows or on youtube or people I'm around in real life but I'm just not absorbing anything. I have no friends, I can't get close to anyone. When I try to interact with anyone I have a hard time coming up with anything to say. My thought processes aren't very good and I'm not well-spoken. I'm boring. I'm bored of myself. I will never be satisfied with myself. I care about people and my relationships with people but I'm awful at making and maintaining them. What's the point of a life like that.


All I do is watch tv and play games to get through the day but it doesn't feel good and I'm tired of it. I see no future for myself. Even if the treatments I'm trying work it will take way too long to recover from the depressed void I've been in for so many years. I haven't been developing any skills or working on my life in that time. I just want it to be over. I don't want to suffer anymore.

i tought y have the onion problem , but it reveals that i have same issue ..hope y'll get better

 

[amerie]

You're probably neurodivergent.

Also, don't give up on learning how to socialize!! I think your problem is you're just simply not going outside and you're overthinking what to say, just go out and talk to people bro. It's okay if you're not funny, or say weird shit. You will get better at it each time you try. Maybe some people will say your boring, but your goal isn't to be friends with everyone it's to have enough people in your circle to make you happy.

 

[darksouls]

I am very sorry that you are feeling so bad
sending you hugs and love

 

[snooperdooper]

I don't know if there's a better place to vent other than "Suicide Discussion" but I kind of just want to get everything out there about my despression and experience.

I don't necessarily have anything going wrong in my life. I don't have relationship issues (other than lack of relationships), I don't have money problems, no one I'm close to has died. I almost feel guilty about being depressed sometimes. But I have horrible brain chemistry, I always feel tired, I have breakdowns multiple times a week, I have anxiety, my thoughts are mainly negative, and I don't get any fulfillment or pleasure out of doing anything. I feel empty, I don't have any purpose in life.

I absolutely hate myself. I'm not a terrible person or anything, but I'm extremely insecure. I have horrible social skills, and I try to observe people I like in shows or on youtube or people I'm around in real life but I'm just not absorbing anything. I have no friends, I can't get close to anyone. When I try to interact with anyone I have a hard time coming up with anything to say. My thought processes aren't very good and I'm not well-spoken. I'm boring. I'm bored of myself. I will never be satisfied with myself. I care about people and my relationships with people but I'm awful at making and maintaining them. What's the point of a life like that.


All I do is watch tv and play games to get through the day but it doesn't feel good and I'm tired of it. I see no future for myself. Even if the treatments I'm trying work it will take way too long to recover from the depressed void I've been in for so many years. I haven't been developing any skills or working on my life in that time. I just want it to be over. I don't want to suffer anymore.

Felt. I am struggling with gender dysphoria, so I guess you can reason that my depression is reasonable, but it's hard to reason with every other aspect of my life. I always got good grades, made friends fairly easily, and my parents were upper middle class if not rich. I think to myself sometimes that it's spoiled for me to want to throw this life away just because I want to be a girl. There are people who are struggling with far worse. And yet I am the one who is depressed and wants to kill themselves. Lol.