Update about my situation...

[noname223]

I went for the jugular from my former therapist. I think she feels the pressure and currently looks for a lawyer. I think she fucked up the situation pretty hard and I think the lawyer had to be really good to make a real change. This week I have an appointment with my psychiatrist about the situation and I am very nervous...The appointment is pretty early at the morning. And that's not good. Maybe I will take a benzo beforehand. I have the feeling she sort of teams up with her...which is unfair.

The progressive woman who I had a date with didn't answer my text message. I wonder whether I should text her again. I am really not sure about her intentions. Maybe she is only playing with me.

I am invited to a birthday party of a friend this week. Not sure how this will impact my mental health. I need to stay stable.

I bought some things on the internet and it sucessfully distracts me. I notice though stimulation by academic texts are the best way to distract me from my issues. I get the feeling I have a committment to read enough texts on a daily basis to be such a smart-ass. The interesting thing though I am never a smart-ass about the things I actually read. If I have this much information on a topic I am hesitant to have a strong opinion. But I have strong position when it is about introspection. I think this is something I do all the time. But this is susceptible for biases.

I am getting clean of benzos the last days. I haven't touch them. Without withdrawal symptoms. But I am taking z-medication since 3,5 weeks straight. I think maximum should be 6 weeks. This could become crucial. My stomach still hurts all the time. I try not to binge eat. But my stomach is pretty insane lately.

I didn't go to the self-help group. I think the chemistry master student is manipulating one person to hate me. The dude who has the crazy postition that if there is a shooting he only has empathy for one person (the shooter).
But really I don't care this much. The person will realize eventually which kind of person she is. Recently, I had to think about something. Whether people who are in favor of Israel in the Middle East conflict are in generally a red flag. My former therapist was staunchly pro-Israel and criticized me for going to a pro-Palestine protest. She put me in the Nazi corner for it. She turned out to be really phoney. And I have the feeling many people who are in favor of Israel where I live are careerists. They posture themselves as morally superior on top of that. I know some people in favor of Israel. For example, the dude that gets manipulated by the chemistry master student. And another college friend. And I get the feeling either these people are pretty brainwashed, don't know dick about the actual conflict or are straight morally corrupt.

I think though being pro-Palestine is still no green flag for me. It is good but you cannot judge the moral integrity by that. I am not fully sure.

 

[-Link-]

I went for the jugular from my former therapist. I think she feels the pressure and currently looks for a lawyer. I think she fucked up the situation pretty hard and I think the lawyer had to be really good to make a real change. This week I have an appointment with my psychiatrist about the situation and I am very nervous...The appointment is pretty early at the morning. And that's not good. Maybe I will take a benzo beforehand. I have the feeling she sort of teams up with her...which is unfair.

Is she teaming up with her?

If a psychiatrist is doing anything less than actively discouraging legal action against a fellow mental health practitioner, I'd probably read that as a genuine intention and meaningful effort to support you. For her to endorse the idea of suing your therapist would be to speak against her colleague in the context of malpractice, and if this became public knowledge, it could have consequences for her own reputation and career. I'd expect anyone in your psychiatrist's position would figure themselves as being in a delicate position, caught in the middle between you and your former therapist amidst the prospect of legal action.

I would recommend trying to allow your psychiatrist a lot of latitude as far as what she says and does regarding this topic.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

I think though being pro-Palestine is still no green flag for me. It is good but you cannot judge the moral integrity by that. I am not fully sure.

Definitely. I've unfortunately met some people that only use being pro-Palestine as a guise to hide their other shortcomings.

Being anti-Indigenous, antisemitic (most accusations of antisemitism by big Zionists are false, but unfortunately it does exist in the community), capitalist, or antitheist (this might be a bit controversial for me to call a shortcoming on this site, but I fully believe that lumping all religions, even all Abrahamic religions together, is prejudiced).

 

[noname223]

Is she teaming up with her?

If a psychiatrist is doing anything less than actively discouraging legal action against a fellow mental health practitioner, I'd probably read that as a genuine intention and meaningful effort to support you. For her to endorse the idea of suing your therapist would be to speak against her colleague in the context of malpractice, and if this became public knowledge, it could have consequences for her own reputation and career. I'd expect anyone in your psychiatrist's position would figure themselves as being in a delicate position, caught in the middle between you and your former therapist amidst the prospect of legal action.

I would recommend trying to allow your psychiatrist a lot of latitude as far as what she says and does regarding this topic.

Thank you for this very helpful information. I need to stay calm. Thanks a lot Link you supported me so much through this. Thank you from the deepest of my heart. I know I have a very clear notion of what is right. But strategically my approach brought me in a pretty comfortable position who is more trustworthy in this conflict.

I am not sure whether she is teaming up. She is against escalation. I did not have a long conversation thus far. It gonna be this week though.

I am technically not sueing my therapist. I am just reporting her. That'a huge difference I think. I wasn't sure about the difference thus far. I don't know all the technical terms in English. I won't sue her that's for sure. It won't cost me money and there is way less risk for me in the comparison to sueing her. I just want to clean my medical records. And reporting her could fix that. I have a pretty strong case.

By the way she cannot threaten me with a lawyer. Actually, she could but this would backfire massively. I haven't made allegations towards her thus far. All I did was documenting and insisting on my rights as a patient.

 

[noname223]

I might have a smoking gun in the case..she admitted to something severe today...

 

[noname223]

So the whole thing got even way worse and way more cynical. I had an appointment with my psychiatrist and she actually teams up with my former therapist. That's sick.
She repeated in some ways her narrative. I would be paranoid and distrustful. And that I had OCD in controlling things. These are two tallking points my former therapist repeats to weaken my position.

I document the case really in-depth. That's true. But my distrustfulness is legitimized. I also argued that in a lengthy note I wrote yesterday for my psychiatrist. I was really careful how to put it. Because I dismantle allegations against me in this document. I might use it for my report.
My psychiatrist admitted though that some statements of my former therapist are indeed wrong. Especially, the ones with which she damages my trustworthyness towards instititutions. I still think I have a pretty good hand because of my documentation. I don't want to report my psychiatrist too. However, my therapist and psychiatrist seemingly phoned together about the case recently. And the way she put it makes it seem like this happened more than once. Because she refered to something that happened last week. And I already had the feeling they communicated. Actually, this isn't allowed. They are not allowed to talk about my case without my agreement. Not sure whether I should document that. I am not sure about the intentions of my psychiatrist. But she doesn't seem to an honest actor. She is biased and should actually be neutral instead.
My psychiatrist admitted not to have read all documents. I told her that's essential to understand the full context.

I still have one big argument. I still might have my smoking gun. It is not 100% clear I have this smoking gun. But I demanded my right to get that evidence. And surprisingly my former therapist is silent about this demand and seemingly panicks because I have the legal right to get that evidence. I also told my psychiatrist about it but in different words of course. If this holds, I have won the whole case probably. She might lose her licence. Even if this isn't my intention.
I still think even without the smoking gun I have a strong hand. But obviously it would have been better my psychiatrist supported me. But many people warned me that psychiatrists and therapists usually defend each other. The patient's counsellors almost all complimented a lot. for my texts They asked me whether I have studied law. Lol.

I also told my psychiatrist if there is a way to correct my medical records without reporting my therapist I would do that. And I will try that and the report is only a measure of last resort.

What is you opinion on that @-Link- ? thanks a lot in advance.

 

[-Link-]

I still might have my smoking gun.

If this is objective proof of a violation and grounds for getting your medical record amended, then that alone may be cause to stop discussing this any further with your psychiatrist or your former therapist, especially if they seem closed off to the idea of doing it on their own accord. If you already have the proof you need (or at least have a clear path to obtain the proof), then I'd question what benefit there is in further discussing it with them at all.

If this proof of violation is not grounds or helpful to your case as far as getting your medical record changed (which is your stated goal here), then I would be careful of connotations relating to any statements or actions that could be construed as, "Change my records or else I'll pursue this other thing" (ie. extortion). If this sounds accurate to your situation, then you'll want to tread very carefully and almost certainly want the guidance of a patients' rights advocate in doing so.

Another consideration here is whether the suspect information in your medical record is as consequential as what your fear is telling you and whether this fear could be tainting your interpretation of the information, especially contrast to how other medical professionals would interpret it.

As well, to the best of my knowledge and generally speaking, medical records aren't "changed"; they are amended, with original notes and information kept intact while amendments would note any inaccuracies or disputes. Your written dispute could (would?) become part of your record. If this is the case, then you might actually be drawing more attention to those suspect details than if you didn't dispute it in the first place. Even it's officially amended, that doesn't discount the "human factor" where anyone reading the amended record could still be influenced by the original information, subsequently affecting their opinions or decision-making process, even if only subconsciously and unofficially. I'd expect any patients' rights advocate to know more about this as far as what a "change" would actually look like, whether it's possible to literally erase something that's already been noted in your record, whether you'd be better off pursuing this or leaving it alone, and what impact you could anticipate from either option.

I don't want to report my psychiatrist too. However, my therapist and psychiatrist seemingly phoned together about the case recently. And the way she put it makes it seem like this happened more than once.

Generally speaking, medical practitioners can have a way of looking out for one another where malpractice implications are concerned because, for their purposes, it's in their collective best interest to limit as much as possible the number of claims and reports pushed forward and validated.

If a psychiatrist and therapist are communicating about a patient without that patient's consent, that's a wrong that would ideally be accounted for. But what is "ideal" is not always what's practical or realistic. With the burden of proof in mind, I would reconsider the idea of pursuing something against your psychiatrist over this and, instead, maybe the better thing to do would be to stop talking about it with her.

I had an appointment with my psychiatrist and she actually teams up with my former therapist. That's sick.
She repeated in some ways her narrative. I would be paranoid and distrustful. And that I had OCD in controlling things. These are two tallking points my former therapist repeats to weaken my position.

If you do discuss this further with your psychiatrist, it may help your own standing and credibility in the situation if you can concede that your former therapist did have some valid points. Even in a scenario where a therapist has done something that would cost them their license, that still doesn't negate the things they did right in their role as a therapist.

On the other side of this is you, yourself. Based on what you've shared about this situation, I'm surmising a high likelihood that obsessive-compulsive thoughts will indeed be aggravating or distorting some of your own viewpoints on this. I have to imagine it's OK to acknowledge this (if only to maintain your perceived credibility) and that there is a way to concede this while simultaneously maintaining the integrity of any official report or claim you make against your former therapist. (But this may call for a careful balance in how you phrase things.)

I am not sure about the intentions of my psychiatrist. But she doesn't seem to an honest actor. She is biased and should actually be neutral instead.

One way for her to "be neutral" would be to distance herself.

But the other way would be for her to try to actively support you while also looking out for the interests of your former therapist. So, I wonder if she actually is trying to remain neutral but that her effort is just having a less-than-ideal result -- ie. leading you to question her trustworthiness.

This by itself wouldn't necessarily mean your psychiatrist has been violating confidentiality. It could be that she's been getting information from patient records, or maybe she's just drawing her own conclusions and those conclusions happen to be similar to those of your former therapist.

In saying this, I'm just giving her the benefit of the doubt. I couldn't hazard an actual guess as to whether she's doing right or wrong.

The patient's counsellors almost all complimented a lot. for my texts They asked me whether I have studied law. Lol.

If these counsellors are in official capacity as patients' rights advocates, I would suggest picking the one that you feel most confident about and then deferring to their guidance on this. If they dissuade you from pursuing it (even with objective evidence in hand), I think you'd do well to abide by that advice. If they concede it may be worth pursuing and are willing to help see you through that, then you'd have the confidence of knowing an advocate is representing you and also sharing the burden and stress of your case, which I'm sure would be a lot less taxing on your well-being compared to pursuing it all on your own.

 

[noname223]

If this is objective proof of a violation and grounds for getting your medical record amended, then that alone may be cause to stop discussing this any further with your psychiatrist or your former therapist, especially if they seem closed off to the idea of doing it on their own accord. If you already have the proof you need (or at least have a clear path to obtain the proof), then I'd question what benefit there is in further discussing it with them at all.

If this proof of violation is not grounds or helpful to your case as far as getting your medical record changed (which is your stated goal here), then I would be careful of connotations relating to any statements or actions that could be construed as, "Change my records or else I'll pursue this other thing" (ie. extortion). If this sounds accurate to your situation, then you'll want to tread very carefully and almost certainly want the guidance of a patients' rights advocate in doing so.

Another consideration here is whether the suspect information in your medical record is as consequential as what your fear is telling you and whether this fear could be tainting your interpretation of the information, especially contrast to how other medical professionals would interpret it.

As well, to the best of my knowledge and generally speaking, medical records aren't "changed"; they are amended, with original notes and information kept intact while amendments would note any inaccuracies or disputes. Your written dispute could (would?) become part of your record. If this is the case, then you might actually be drawing more attention to those suspect details than if you didn't dispute it in the first place. Even it's officially amended, that doesn't discount the "human factor" where anyone reading the amended record could still be influenced by the original information, subsequently affecting their opinions or decision-making process, even if only subconsciously and unofficially. I'd expect any patients' rights advocate to know more about this as far as what a "change" would actually look like, whether it's possible to literally erase something that's already been noted in your record, whether you'd be better off pursuing this or leaving it alone, and what impact you could anticipate from either option.


Generally speaking, medical practitioners can have a way of looking out for one another where malpractice implications are concerned because, for their purposes, it's in their collective best interest to limit as much as possible the number of claims and reports pushed forward and validated.

If a psychiatrist and therapist are communicating about a patient without that patient's consent, that's a wrong that would ideally be accounted for. But what is "ideal" is not always what's practical or realistic. With the burden of proof in mind, I would reconsider the idea of pursuing something against your psychiatrist over this and, instead, maybe the better thing to do would be to stop talking about it with her.


If you do discuss this further with your psychiatrist, it may help your own standing and credibility in the situation if you can concede that your former therapist did have some valid points. Even in a scenario where a therapist has done something that would cost them their license, that still doesn't negate the things they did right in their role as a therapist.

On the other side of this is you, yourself. Based on what you've shared about this situation, I'm surmising a high likelihood that obsessive-compulsive thoughts will indeed be aggravating or distorting some of your own viewpoints on this. I have to imagine it's OK to acknowledge this (if only to maintain your perceived credibility) and that there is a way to concede this while simultaneously maintaining the integrity of any official report or claim you make against your former therapist. (But this may call for a careful balance in how you phrase things.)


One way for her to "be neutral" would be to distance herself.

But the other way would be for her to try to actively support you while also looking out for the interests of your former therapist. So, I wonder if she actually is trying to remain neutral but that her effort is just having a less-than-ideal result -- ie. leading you to question her trustworthiness.

This by itself wouldn't necessarily mean your psychiatrist has been violating confidentiality. It could be that she's been getting information from patient records, or maybe she's just drawing her own conclusions and those conclusions happen to be similar to those of your former therapist.

In saying this, I'm just giving her the benefit of the doubt. I couldn't hazard an actual guess as to whether she's doing right or wrong.


If these counsellors are in official capacity as patients' rights advocates, I would suggest picking the one that you feel most confident about and then deferring to their guidance on this. If they dissuade you from pursuing it (even with objective evidence in hand), I think you'd do well to abide by that advice. If they concede it may be worth pursuing and are willing to help see you through that, then you'd have the confidence of knowing an advocate is representing you and also sharing the burden and stress of your case, which I'm sure would be a lot less taxing on your well-being compared to pursuing it all on your own.

I am not sure how to evaluate the day. Maybe I have made myself a new way smarter enemy my psychiatrist. She is pretty savvy way smarter than my therapist. But honestly she was on the side of my therapist all along. I told my psychiatrist in a mail to please keep confidentiality. You might be right that I should not change the reocrd if it can be interpreted as extortion. The patient counsellors all say different things. I called them for more than 10 times. The last one said if I have proof the documents were changed retrospectively and I can prove it I really should report that. They all compliment me a lot.

The last counsellor told me I should contact my therapist for changing the record before reporting her. I think you are right I should not report my psychiatrist too. This would be strategically not smart. I will tell you more about the smoking gun in the private conversation.

Today my psychiatrist told me she called my therapist and specified that they talked about details of the case. I wonder whether my psychiatrist wants to be tied to a sinking ship. I asked her whether it is actually allowed to communicate about my case with her.

I will elaborate on certain parts more in the private conversation. Thanks a lot!

I am not sure about my psychiatrist. I promised her not to escalate the situation if it is unnecessary. I think she liked that. I am not sure about her real thoughts on the case. I had the feeling she felt the duty to defend my therapist.

 

[noname223]

I had a long phone call with a patient's counsellor yesterday. He contradicted other counsellors but with dived into the topic really in-depth. I wanted to rate him after the phone call but I accidentally hung up. He must have thought this was intentionally which made me feel really bad.

So my therapist fucked it up even more. Once again she sort of admitted in a mail to the worst allegation about her. I don't have a final proof. But maybe I will get that sooner or later. I am not sure. I don't want to ruin her career but if the smoking gun holds her career is over.

 

[noname223]

Not sure what to say. Yesterday, I had a pretty bad call with a patient's counsellor the things he said contradicted my strategy completely. He protected my therapist. However, I talked to 3-4 other patient counsellors who agreed with my point of view on this issue.

I feel like I need a break of all of this.

 

[noname223]

I think I lost the conflict. I could cry... I insisted on getting a copy of my medical records. She gave me a document to my psychiatrist where she spread lies about me. And my psychiatrist even teamed up with her. I wanted to get a physical copy of the minutes of the sessions. The writen protocols of every session. I knew they will probably confirm my narrative. But she just changed them retrospectively which would be a falsification of documents if I could prove it. That'a a crime and she simply did that. She could lose her licence over that. Then I might have made a mistake. I talked with some patient counsellors and I talked to AI. And both confirmed I have a right for a digital copy of my medical records in this instance the minutes of every session. My strategy was getting these digital copies. It would prove her falsification of the documents.

But now it seems like what the patient counsellors and AI told me was wrong. Or at least highly controversial. This is at least something more patient counsellors told me now. I had to start a legal battle to get a digital copy of the minutes of every session. Simply reporting her won't be enough. Even though, there are contradictions in her statements. And to make things even worse she sent me fake screenshots that look like she actually told the truth. But I am very certain she used a trick to manipulate the variation in time in these screenshots. And I don't have the right to the get the actual digital copies to prove that lie. This evening I talked to another patient counsellor and she says I have no chance to get the digital copies unless I sue her with a high risk. Now I am really not sure what to do. Again, talking to a patient counsellor? - some agree, some disagree with the question whether I have a right to get the meta data and audit trails. However, I get the feeling the one's who are more specialized disagree with it. Something I did not know. All these people say different things. I talk to them on a daily basis. I won't sue her this would cost me a couple of thousand Euros. I only relied on this strategy because some patient counsellors confirmed this was my right.

The whole thing was also a battle of wits. And it seems like I lost. The power structure was very assymetrical though. She abused her rights as a therapist in the worst way imaginable. And when I report her you can read her strategy in the way she writes. There are still some valid points I can report her for.
I think on moral integrity I won. Her actions were rotten to the core. The worst abuse I ever experienced in my life as an adult. Moreover, I was right about a fact she disputed. I think this was what infuriated her and started the whole conflict. But she was simply wrong about that memory. I was right. However, she realized it later otherwise I could use it as evidence.

I think I won't kill myself because all of this. At least not now maybe later. I think people like her would actually want something like that. And I won't take revenge in any form. She tries that I won't be supported by the welfare state. How depraved can one be?

I am not sure what to do now. Tomorrow I might phone again with a legal expert and hope he agrees that I can get a digital copy of the minutes of the session. Otherwise I don't know what to do. Following this strategy was risky but now with her faked screenshots I literally have no chance. I had to change my strategy but this won't work without humiliating me. The fake screenshots were the nail in the coffin for my strategy. But I wasn't sure she actually takes such a risk. She could go the prison for that. But she probably knows I had to sue her for getting the digital copies and I won't take that risk.

The situation is horrible. And I really despise her. I can still report her for her actions. But the recent development wasn't good at all.

Can anyone comfort me?


My mom belittles me over it... and makes everything worse.

 

[-Link-]

I would reiterate what I noted on an earlier occasion:

If she did indeed add a negative opinion to your record, she would only be one voice among many. For purposes of government assessments, they look at the entirety of a patient's case, and you have a lengthy history in mental healthcare that would easily refute any suggestion that you're lying. If she in fact stated that in your record, she'd be disputing your entire mental health history, basically disputing everyone else who's authored anything in your record. It seems if anything would be at risk, it would be her credibility.

And I'd add here to think about the totality of the state of your mental health and consider that, generally speaking, government disability support systems are literally created and designed for people in your kind of situation.

Are you actually a fraud? Clearly not. The truth is on your side, and in a mental health case involving disability supports, the truth counts for a lot.

Even if this therapist would bluntly claim you're malingering, that would not discount all your previous medical history, or any information that gets added to your medical record in the future. Over the long term, if your case file comes under scrutiny, and she's the outlier speaking the opposite of everyone else, the only thing at risk would be her own credibility.

No one is going to take the word of a therapist who's claiming fraud about a patient who (I'm assuming) has at least several different psychiatrists and other mental health professionals saying otherwise. And even in the worst case scenario where someone does take her at her word, I'd expect all you'd be looking at is a follow-up psychiatrist consultation to clarify things.

I mean, even your local police department would have a record that supports the truthfulness of your situation. Most mental health patients and people receiving disability support couldn't say the same.

You mention talking to multiple (several?) patient counsellors about this. I feel like it may be doing you more harm than good for you to be hearing all these conflicting opinions. If it makes sense, then I would suggest picking only one of these counsellors to continue engaging about this. Pick the one you feel the most trust with -- not the one who's telling you what you think you want to hear, but the one you get along with best and trust the most. If you don't trust any of them, then pick the one who feels "least untrustworthy". And then whichever counsellor this is, try to follow their guidance with little-or-no deviation.

I also feel like you would do well to get transferred out of the care of this therapist and this psychiatrist, and to sever contact with them once that happens. A patient counsellor should know whether that makes sense for you and how to best handle that process.

Deep breaths. Focus on facts and evidence. Any time you catch your brain telling you predictions or assumptions, remind yourself those are part of the brain's response to overwhelm and then try to shift focus back onto facts and evidence. I am confident you have it in you to get through this, and I hope you can see and believe that, yourself, too.

 

[noname223]

I would reiterate what I noted on an earlier occasion:


And I'd add here to think about the totality of the state of your mental health and consider that, generally speaking, government disability support systems are literally created and designed for people in your kind of situation.

Are you actually a fraud? Clearly not. The truth is on your side, and in a mental health case involving disability supports, the truth counts for a lot.

Even if this therapist would bluntly claim you're malingering, that would not discount all your previous medical history, or any information that gets added to your medical record in the future. Over the long term, if your case file comes under scrutiny, and she's the outlier speaking the opposite of everyone else, the only thing at risk would be her own credibility.

No one is going to take the word of a therapist who's claiming fraud about a patient who (I'm assuming) has at least several different psychiatrists and other mental health professionals saying otherwise. And even in the worst case scenario where someone does take her at her word, I'd expect all you'd be looking at is a follow-up psychiatrist consultation to clarify things.

I mean, even your local police department would have a record that supports the truthfulness of your situation. Most mental health patients and people receiving disability support couldn't say the same.

You mention talking to multiple (several?) patient counsellors about this. I feel like it may be doing you more harm than good for you to be hearing all these conflicting opinions. If it makes sense, then I would suggest picking only one of these counsellors to continue engaging about this. Pick the one you feel the most trust with -- not the one who's telling you what you think you want to hear, but the one you get along with best and trust the most. If you don't trust any of them, then pick the one who feels "least untrustworthy". And then whichever counsellor this is, try to follow their guidance with little-or-no deviation.

I also feel like you would do well to get transferred out of the care of this therapist and this psychiatrist, and to sever contact with them once that happens. A patient counsellor should know whether that makes sense for you and how to best handle that process.

Deep breaths. Focus on facts and evidence. Any time you catch your brain telling you predictions or assumptions, remind yourself those are part of the brain's response to overwhelm and then try to shift focus back onto facts and evidence. I am confident you have it in you to get through this, and I hope you can see and believe that, yourself, too.

I read all your posts again on this issue. I am not going to sue but maybe I will report her. Patient counsellors adviced me the following. For finding my own inner peace on this case, I should report her. And just in case the medical records will be used against me in one day At least I will be able to say I did what was possible for getting rid of these evil smears. I tried what was possible.

 

[noname223]

Wait...I might have her on something. I demanded to get a copy of my medical records within a certain deadline some time ago. The deadline is crossed a long time since. She sent me these fake ass screenshots recently. I cannot falsify them sadly. But I realized something. The notes which she screenshotted were not included in the copy of my medical records. The medical records she sent me were not complete. This can be punished. And I even wrote to her if she does not send me my complete medical records that I will report her. It is more of a technical violation and not as stunning as my smoking gun but it might be enough for reporting her. I will add all the other things she did in my reporting.

 

[-Link-]

The notes which she screenshotted were not included in the copy of my medical records. The medical records she sent me were not complete.

It may depend on the nature of the notes. The medical record would consist of progress reports, discharge summaries, etc., but not necessarily a therapist's personal notes from session to session.

Any comments that are confined to her personal notes and not reflected in your medical record, I think at least generally speaking (I'm certainly not an authority on this), would be inaccessible to third parties -- eg. insurers, government assessors, other medical practitioners, etc. But this would depend on regulations in your jurisdiction, how your healthcare system manages this data, and maybe whether consent to share information has been given. A patient counsellor should (ideally) be able to say for certain.

 

[noname223]

It may depend on the nature of the notes. The medical record would consist of progress reports, discharge summaries, etc., but not necessarily a therapist's personal notes from session to session.

Any comments that are confined to her personal notes and not reflected in your medical record, I think at least generally speaking (I'm certainly not an authority on this), would be inaccessible to third parties -- eg. insurers, government assessors, other medical practitioners, etc. But this would depend on regulations in your jurisdiction, how your healthcare system manages this data, and maybe whether consent to share information has been given. A patient counsellor should (ideally) be able to say for certain.

The nature of the notes are quite similar to the minutes of every session. They look literally the same.
I will ask a patient counsellor about it.

 

[noname223]

Finally, some good news. I am approaching the end of reporting my former therapist. I might will need like 1-2 weeks. Maybe only one week work. I take daily addictive sleep medication. I counted my pills up and yes I am a hoarder. I am a hoarder for good reason I don't trust psychiatrist. If I took the same amount of sleep medication, I could continue that for over 100 days. My psychiatrist is on the side of my therapist. She should not know how bad I feel mentally this could bee used against me. And that I am reliant on them.

After calling patient counsellors over probably 15 times they adviced me to go somewhere else. It is an organization that is dedicated to fight abuse in psychotherapy. I contacted them. After a phone call, that will soon take place, if this person seems trustworthy I am allowed to send her some documents to proof read them. This takes some pressure from my shoulders. Let's hope she doesn't side with my therapist like my psychiatrist. My trust in psychotherapy is already negative...

 

[noname223]

I am nervous about this phone call that will take place tomorrow. So much fucked up things happened with the last two months. It would not surprise if the person from the organization against abuse in therapy, was actually on the side of my abusive therapist. After all the shit I went through it does not seem to be unlikley...

 

[noname223]

Good news! The woman was very friendly and competent. She gave me some hope in the system back. She was on my side in contrast to my psychiatrist. She believed me. I am allowed to send her my documents for a check. There is professional secrecy and this woman sounded like this is very important to her. In the end its an organization against abuse in therapy. Am I 100% certain she will not do something shady? No, but I think that's my paranoia. This would literally be a crime.

There is one issue though. She does not have the time to take a look at my documenta yet. But in Mid January she will be able to give me feedback. And only after that I will hand in the reporting. I am currently double checking all documents and I still find some mistakes here and there. I will probably check it at least 3 times before officially handing it in.

I will try to stop my addictive sleep medication. I took it straight 7 weeks. Recommended is maximum 4 weeks. But its the lowest dosage. I hope I will still get some sleep for the sake of my sanity.

 

[noname223]

I am anxious. Next week I will have a phone call with her to get feedback to my reporting. I have not handed it finally in. But I might have to improve it again. I assume it will take up to 1-2 weeks of work. Then it's done. And I will be able to move in hopefully. I hope that she will give me good feedback I worked my ass off. The break was very good. I was able to quit the addictive sleep medication. And my sleep rhythm improved. It will be really really nervous before that phone call. Thus far I only now that she received it. She did not want to give Feedback in a writen form but in a call.

In a few weeks I also have an appointment with my psychiatrist who sided with my therapist. I could imagine she will be pretty pissed in case I tell her that I handed in the reporting. Maybe I will need a new psychiatrist. My mom will accompany me that day.

And then there is the autism self-help group that meets at the end of January. The sort of sociopath said He might want to join the self-help group. In case that happens I can expect a lot of drama to occur.

 

[noname223]

Tomorrow, I have the phone call in the evening. Pretty late at the evening I am usually in a better shape in the morning. I read the most important Information twice to brief me. I am really really nervous. I am less emotionally involved compared to December but I am still determined to report her. I got a little bit emotional. But I try to move on no matter which outcome there will be. I am a little bit scared of therapy I think I will never do psychotherapy again. Or at least for several years. I try AI therapy instead it helps me a little bit. I am scared my psychiatrist could take revenge she was on the side of my therapist. I have an appointment with her at the end of January...

 

[noname223]

Sigh...I was so stressed about this phone call. Hoped so much she would simply say "Perfect, you just have to hand it in." Sadly, this did not happen. The outcome was pretty bad.
She said my text and the data is way too much. They won't take the report serious. I am kind of confused. So seemingly there are two steps. 1. Step: sending the report (not with much data) 2. Step: After they considered whether the report is worth taking it to court, I have to hand in the full data. And my false idea was to send the whole data in the first step.
Her advice for me: Only sending minimum of data in the first step. But offering to hand in all the data if necessary.

We talked about extreme details. And I considered them a little bit ridiculous. So I shall write an extra passage that the report only includes 99% of all mails, due to privacy issues. And at the same time I shall reduce the amount of text. That seems contradictory. Then we talked about medical records. She questions whether medical records actually exist. Honestly, all these people tell me different things.

I told her I invested so much time and energy into all of this. I just want to correct the most important things and that's it. She gave me some advices for the structure. I thought my structure was obvious. Seemingly not.

One of the worst things my severely handicapped pass is reevaluated and according to this woman my former therapist is still allowed to talk to the people who evaluate my pass even though I revoked the professional discrection. It would be nasty if she took revenge for reporting her. However, I have the feeling she would say nasty things about me anywy#ay. I have an idea how to prevent that.

I feel empty. Angry, Annoyed. Tired. I had a break from all of this for one month. Now I have a crunch time of one or two weeks ahead of me. I will start tomorrow. I hoped so much she would just pass it through. There are doubts inside me whether it is all worth it. But I am still pretty determined to report her. I had plenty of discussions with patient cousellors about that.

I had the feeling she rather skimmed the text. She also said that. I think though only if you read the details the evidence get really convincing. She thinks the text is good as it as. But way too much data and it isn't clear why I hand in so much data. The truth is it is all the data my therapist send me when I demanded my medical records. But accoring to this woman this isn't obvious.

I guess the feedback is good. If she said everything was perfect it probably would have been bad feedback. I hope I can finish the job in 7 days. But today I will not do anything.

And so fucking annoying. Someone from my toxic self-help group texted during this phone call. And I should reply to that.

Edit: I am panicking again because the office which is responsible for the disability pass never contacted me again. The first contact was in July. Why was there no response? I fear they take my nursing care money. My literal life saver. I think I would consider ctb then. My therapist presented me as a liar which could make them suspicious. And re-examine my disability pass and the nursing care assessment. I would be fucked beyond repair. Maybe if I ctb, they would investigate my former therapist. Hopefully,...but this would not be my main reason for suicide. I don't want to be treated like a fraud.

 

[noname223]

So I try to make my documentation more compact, shorter and more acccessible for readers.
For clarifying the last preparations for the complaint I had to call the chamber of therapists. I called there a couple of times already. The first time I called there I got a pretty good feeling. I always talked to the same person. The second time I called there the patient counsellor acted like a total dick. I became emotional and maybe this was a car wreck conversation. I felt ashamed afterwards. It was really really not good. I waited one month hoping he might forgotten me. And I waited for the feedback of that other woman. I called the chamber of therapist/the patient counsellor again today. I think he could remember me and he acted pretty much like a dick again. But today I was emotionally prepared for that. I stayed calm and got the final information in order to report her. He even tried to provoke me with something like "oh what your therapist really so evil that you had to hand in 12 file folders for your complaint? How was it possible she was actually this evil please explain this to me".
I didn't let him bait me. He wanted me to become emotional which is highly unprofessional. Though, my emotional outbreak the last time we called wasn't good either I have to admit that. But as I said I stayed friendly and calm today. I told him that I have evidence for all complaints in a written form because I knew testimony against testimony usually doesn't lead to anything in front of a court.

The feedback of the woman from that ethics organization was actually helpful. There was something I got wrong. And she corrected me on that. I think I won't make fundamental changes on all the documentation though. I think it is fine.

I think I realized not everything is hingig on this. I hope at least. Though, in order to move on reporting her is absolutely the right thing to do. Especially, if I put so much effort in all of that. Another friendly patient counsellor told in order to move on it is probably very important to me. And for the off-chance a request on a social program will be rejected because of her lies I will always feel remorse for not reporting her. And by reporting her they will also add my perspective on her lies about me and my therapy motivation.

I feel horrible for the crash out call the of the prior conversation from middle December. I was very explicit how much I struggle, that I deal with suicidality and fear of poverty. And that the lies in my medical records are pretty scary to me. I think it came across like I wanted to use my story to get him on my side. Though, actually I thought he is just a patient's counsellor for the chamber and not the one who decides about the case. And from what I have read online he probably doesn't have a big impact on the result of the case. I think this dude considers me a horrible human being for using my story in such a shameless way. But at the second call he got me when my defense was down. It triggered me a lot what he said about my therapist. And for some minutes my self-awareness was gone. But I also thought the things I say to him are kept confidential because they said its anonymous. And I took that as a fact. Though, it seems like the chamber is that small that it actually isn't anonymous. My fault. I think he considers me a horrible person maybe someone who uses his story to manipulate other people and force them to have compassion. Though, in the end the phone call rather damaged me. Usually, I am very good at impulse control but that evening was such a crash out. I also worked on the case from end October till middle of December, took several time benzos, was on sleeping pills, was attacked in my college self-help group and had to defend me. There was also this evening with the autistic woman and her sociopathic friend. Maybe all of that are lame excuses. But I have the feeling I should not be too hard on myself. Because actually I didn't try to manipulate me. I was just too unfiltered in an unstrategical way. I haven't opened up to on here so explicitly because I feel so ashamed about it.

I think though the case I make against my therapist is pretty good. I have a lot of evidence in a written form. And the most important thing is that my correction finds its way into my medical records and I assume this is going to happen most likely. At least I hope so. I think my case would not have to be super strong to achieve that. Though, 95% of my claims have sources Though, formal mistakes can happen and the woman from the ethics organization said if I hand in too many documents they might dismiss my case.

 

[noname223]

My complaint is 17 pages long. Maybe that's too long. But these 17 pages include 3 summaries. The summaries combined are 3,5 pages long. I think you understand the case more or less by reading these 3,5 pages alone.

I need to be mentally prepared that hey just not check it at all. I would get a mental breakdown. Lol. I was so fucking pissed just due to the notion of it.
And that they will say we don't care it is too long. Who cares? This seems to be a realistic scenario.

The main body of the complaint is without sources 5 pages long. My own counterstatement is 3 pages long. I don't necessarily need that someone who checks my medical records finds the content very easily. The whole thing rather is like in case I need an assessment for welfare I can say I had an argument with my former therapist, I filed a complaint, my own perspective is in the medical records. You can read it if you want. The person who wants to dive into it can dive into it. I can explain the whole situation. Offer my complaint text for that. I think if you read everything I have a pretty strong case. But seemingly noone cares to read the whole thing. I just don't want that the person who does the assessment about my welfare says to me why didn't you report your therapist when it hapened? Otherwise I cannot believe you.

I did everything I can to make it for the most lazy clerk as easy as possible. The most important passages are formated bold. I tried to find a balance between neutral language and making her violations as clear as possible. Which was often difficult. More often I used neutral language because it is a law case.

I chose key evidence only a small margin of the all the evidence that is available. And I tried to summarized the key findings of these evidence in two pages. Also formated in bold.
Moreover, there is one form of evidence. I earmarked contested passage of a piece of evidence. So that they don't have to read the whole document.

I am not sure how much effort they will put into looking at the case. Honestly, I heard so many different opinions. I am just so sick of it. I simply want to hand it in. FIrst, I thought this will be immediately a case in front of a court. But that might not even happen. I am so fucking pissed. I gonna be really really disappointed if they just reject it. Then everything was a perfect waste of time. 3 fucking months for nothing. I think my therapist is scared. She wasted A LOT of time. She humiliated herself with these half-ass mails. Her line of argumentation was ridiculous. And if there was justice in this world all the evidence would be investigated. I think she is really pissed at me and according to my psychiatrist she panics a lot because we both, and now my psychiatrist knows it too she manipulated my medical records. I even have 3 smoking guns for that. I found the most convincing smoking gun some days ago. Actually, I wanted to hand the complaint in in December. I was pretty glad that I noticed this major mistake she done. I highlighted in the my complaint a couple of times. There is not really a good excuse for that. It sort of proves she manipulated my medical records. I hope this is enough to dive into all the evidence.

But i really need to be mentally prepared that they are just too lazy to look at my case...

 

[noname223]

I am close to handing it in. I am almost done. Maybe 3-4 days left. I try to be prepared for getting disappointed. But I probably get feedback after 3-4 months. The internet reviews for these institutions are horrible and I got the exact feeling by calling them. Nothing burgers.

I was uncertain whether to hand it prior to my next meeting with my psychiatrist. The appointment is next Monday. I need to prepare myself mentally for this meeting. My psychiatrist was fully on the side of my therapist. They called each other which is sort of illegal because I didn't give them a permission to talk to each other about my case. I won't mention this in my complaint because I cannot prove it. And there might be excuses.

I will take my mom with me. As a witness if my psychiatrist does the same thing to me what my therapist did. My psychiatrist way smarter but I think morally not extremely corrupt. But I was pretty disappointed that she sided with my therapist even if the evidence is on my side. She using a certain phrase which probably stems from my therapist. My mails would be crossing boundaries. And you know why? Because I didn't back down when she tried to manipulate me. She gave me a lot of compliments, tried to start discussion about mental health with me while I was insisting on my right to get a copy of my medical records.

I will take my mom with me. But I talk to her which things she never should say. I think my psychiatrist could also try to get my mom on the side of my therapist. Which my mom was temporarily because she simply pissed at me. I will speak to my mom which tricks they might use. I will say I speak for myself and that my mom has nothing to do with that. Even despite this danger I think it is better to have her with me as my witness.

In fact I will probably say something to my psychiatrist like: I handed it my case at an ethics organization and I want to work it through with them before doing anything/taking the next steps. Actually, I received the feedback of the ethics organization. But I don't want to discuss this case more with my psychiatrist. She might pressure me a lot. In very evil ways if she used the same tricks as my therapist. But to counter that I have my mom with me.

I will probably say something I don't want to discuss this topic anymore. In case my psychiatrist says something like I talked to your therapist again about it. I had my mom as witness that they violated the professional secrecy.

I don't want beef with my psychiatrist. This is why I won't mention them talking in my complaint. I think though our relation is already pretty burdened by siding fully with my therapist. I think this damage won't be healed. From now on I only contact her when I need medication. No more other support.

Honestly, I am pretty done with the whole system of psychotherapy. When I see how morally corrupt all of them are. And even the chamber of therapist isn't indepdent and instead corrupt. I was very positive about the therapy system beforehand, and I was skeptical of SaSu users who criticitzed it fundamentally.

There is one issue. If I never do therapy again, her assessment will remain forever as my last entry. If I file a complain I, I am allowed to add my perspective on her assessment. I am not ready to do therapy again. Probably for the next couple years. I am sick of them. They disgust me. And if I kill myself because all of that they should have a guilty conscience. Because the behavior of all people involved was simply disgusting. Theoretically, I could start therapy again if I found someone. You know if only one person in this system would have been the bad apple. But it seems like the system is rotten to its core.

They might label me as renegade. But I rather die like that than to allow this injustice to happen without any consequences for her. And most patient counsellors say to reduce the damage of her remarks filing a complaint is the smartest thing to do.

I cannot express how disgusting my therapist behaved. She wanted to label me as someone who exploits the welfare system and who is simply too lazy to work. Which is obviously not the case. In case if they tried to force me to work I would probably commit suicide. And her actions might lead to my suicide in the longrun. I am so glad I didn't cater to her manipulative behavior. There was one times. I was pretty close to accepting an apology and to think who cares. Before I pressed send I asked AI for feedback. And it told it this would destroyed my position fully. There was no thing I could do to repair the damage if I sent press.

The thing is she will probably not learn about the fact that I committed suicide. But my psychiatrist might will. In case I am still her patient then. Maybe I have to search for someone else though. The meeting on Monday will be rough. But I don't let them intimidate me.

I could even imagine that she will try to blackmail me on Monday...

 

[noname223]

I would be able to hand it in tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. And then hopefully move on. If nothing unexpected happens...and welll...tomorrow I have an appointment with my psychiatrist. The second after my argument with my therapist. She was fully on her side. They called each other and discussed details. I asked my psychiatrist whether that's allowed. I think she was pissed about that. I stopped sending her mails to document the argument because I had the feeling she was biased. I hope she does not fear that I am going to report her next. Because technically she is not allowed to disuss the case with my therapist. In my complain I didn't mention that because I don't need another enemy. I think my psychiatrist is way smarter and could hurt my reputation way more than my former therapist. I think she isn't that corrupt. But am I really sure?

I ruminated the whole day about the appointment tomorrow. Whether to take my mom with me into the room. I tend to yes.

She might ask why I stopped sending her any mails about ths argument. The truth is she isn't trustworthy anymore. And she won't help me anyway. But I will say something like "I came to the conclusion it is a conflict between me and my former therapist. I want to keep that out of our relation." Will this work? I have some doubts. I am not sure whether they still have contact. I could imagine me former therapist is pretty nervous whether I actually report her or not. And maybe she wants that information from my psychiatrist. I could imagine this is realistic. It would be unethical. And it would be even more problematic if my psychiatrist pressured me not to do it. I will try to keep cool. The patient counsellor from the chamber of psychotherapist also acted like an extreme asshole and I kept my cool. I might say to my psychiatrist that I am uncertain whether to hand it in or not. And nothing more.

I have the feeling there could be repercussions by her if I report my therapist. I am taking one medication with the sole purpose to counter ED. And I once told that my psychiatrist. I was stupid for being honest. If she asks again I will say to her that I helps against benzo withdrawal symptoms. Last time she alluded she might stop the prescription. I could imagine it would be a bad time window to search for another psychiatrist. And there is the realistic scenario that my complaint ruins my reputation as patient. It would be way harder to find a good psychiatrist. The thing is I think my psychiatrist knows that my therapist is lying. I alluded to it. And I think she got it. My therapist panicked and called my psychiatrist whining about me as a patient. I cannot explain the whole conversation. But I pointed out if she is innocent she simply can hand me the data I want. If she didn't manipulate it she should not have to worry about that. And I think this was the moment my psychiatrist realized she is guilty otherwise she would npt panic like that.

I read my clinic reports and I think they prove that the things my therapist pretends about me isn't true. However, she pretends I had intent to functionalize/misue therapy in order to get access to social programs. And I cannot undo this damage without reporting her.

And honestly I would never find peace if I didn't report her. All the fucking hard work I did. The things I have been through because of this woman. And there wouldn't be any punishment for her? Moreover, what if maybe her entries have an impact? I will always regret not having reported her. I considered to hand it in prior to my appointment with my psychiatrist so that she cannot influence me. But I wasn't ready. I am extremely anxious about the whole thing. I triple fact-check everything I claim. AI says my love for details might even be counterproductive and help the narrative of my therapist. But the whole thing scares me as hell. The idea I could get held liable. Though, I think I am a little bit naive. I try to be correct with extreme precision and fear even small mistakes could land me in a lot of trouble. While my therapist fucking manipulated my medical records, her excuses in her mails are ridiculous and obvious lies. And still in front of a court there is the high likelihood they will say intentions of her cannot be proven and maybe it was all a misunderstanding.

 

[noname223]

Everything went fine. My mom waited in the waiting room. My psychiatrist asked how I am doing? I talked about many different things my thoughts about college, dating, self-help group issues. She asked what I did because of my therapist. I said I am undecided waiting for the feedback from the ethics organization. And that's it. Got the Prescriptions for my medication.

My psychiatrist might never find out whether I handed in the complaint. I will keep it as a secret to protect my reputation as patient.

 

[noname223]

I have handed it in today. I am relieved. I am so fucking relieved. I hope there will be consequences for her. I hope my perspective will be added to my medical records. I did everything I could. I did the best what was possible. Now it is in the hand of other people. And according to online reviews they suck at their job. It is time to move on...