Everyone that's ever told me they loved me has hit me. The only person that showed me genuine kindness, understanding, and care won't talk to me and I don't know what I did to cause it. I've asked but they just won't tell me and it's killing me. I'm doomed to repeat whatever mistake I made and to be unloved forever because I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I had more friends when I was a horrible, mean person, and no matter what I do I can't get anyone to connect with me more than at a such a shallow level that it feels more lonely to be around them than it does to actually be alone. The only person that could actually help me is beyond my reach and I feel myself falling further into the pit of depression as the hope and faith I had in them dirs.
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