Unsure, stuck, alone.

[Idoe.know]

Today is hard. It's been over a decade, but I tried to hurt myself to release my mental anguish. I couldn't do it. I'm use to failure, but this is more frustrating. I was stronger back then; more courageous. I was able to do more when I was young and I regret not CTB then. I would have had a better chance then.

Mercy doesn't ever seem to come. Even when you're begging for it. I could cry out night and day and still nothing would change. I wish I had a temporary problem as everyone who is against my wishes state. It's interesting everyone else looking in seems to have a better grasp on my life than I do.

I just don't want to wake up anymore and be forced to keep going. I want to lose all ability so I don't have to do anything. Or I'll gladly take the opposite and gain all the bravery to finally end my own troubles.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand the feeling of never wanting to wake again. Life does just seem to be constant suffering with no relief. Leaving this world should certainly be easier and I'm also so tired of everything. I hope that you find what you are looking for.

 

[Bluebag]

Somedays are really hard, today I felt the same it's funny how one movement i thought i could have a future too like all my friends have but life just slaps me and the sucidal thoughts are back, take care stay strong

 

[Fktw0rld]

Believe me, we're all on the same platform here for a reason. Better, same, worse, we're all here and we understand you're suffering because we suffer similar. The only thing seperating us is what got us to this point, but I'm sure there's similarities amongst many members regarding that aspect also. I've been wanting to make my exit for over 20 years now, I've made 3 attempts so far. I woke up each time also, in worse condition. The verse from the book of revelations always lived in my mind rent free because of it. "They will seek death but not find it."

We'll find it eventually. It's very elusive. But we'll find it.

 

[gimzero]

Me to also why we have to sleep and weak up death is the brother of sleep so if we sleeping so easy why we didnt die easy if we want to.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's interesting everyone else looking in seems to have a better grasp on my life than I do.

This is so true isn't it? It always feels like people underestimate/downplay the problems we have but still expect sympathy for what they're facing. It's terrible because I know it comes from a kind place but even phrases like: 'You've got this' are really annoying me at the moment. It's like- Yes, I'll probably get through this period- just like all the previous ones but I'm so sick and tired of it all. I don't want to slog through this shitty life.

I'm sorry things are so tough for you at the moment. I truly hope you get the peace and mercy you deserve.