MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
I really really want to ask the people that found and confiscated my SN to let me order some more to their address- I know they wont let me. I cant really go anywhere else at the moment- I dont have the funds, I am in far too much of a bad emotional state- so could break down-be found my authorities & hospitalised etc. I wish they would just accept that I really really dont want to go on anymore- I dont even want to 'get better' as they call it, I dont want therapy- as I feel I have got nothing to say- I dont even want to bother trying it- I just want out! I feel like saying to these people- would you rather I go and hang myself somewhere?! Which of course I wont say-because it feels like not a nice thing to say to them and also as it will give them justification to have me 'sent away'. They stated that it wouldnt be fair on the people that would have to find me if I ctb- but if I have to go by hanging -the only two places would be in their house (which I have promised I wouldnt try again-after taking an overdose there-and it does seem somewhat horrible to have that happen in their home) OR the local wood-which is right next to a park and many children play there. I dont know what to do. I wish that they would accept it- just let me go, let me get my new parcel & then I would try and get my head toghether enough to go somewhere for a night...why why why wont they let me?!!! 
just to add they have never really had any interest in my well-being, situtation or life in general until now!
just to add they have never really had any interest in my well-being, situtation or life in general until now!
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